Would you feel upset?

[Squash64]

When my friend's grandchildren were born she embroidered a set of pictures for their bedrooms.  The children are now young teenagers and naturally don't want nursery pictures on their walls any more. 

My friend phoned my yesterday, she was very upset.  Her son had thrown the pictures away at the tip.  When he told her, she couldn't say anything to him because she didn't want to cry in front of him.

I feel upset for her and it's nothing to do with me.  Are we just being over-sensitive? How would you feel if it happened to you?

[Squash64]

[saddad]

I would be devastated.... it was very thoughtless of him...  >:(

[sarah]

very thoughtless and insensitive.  she should have told him how upsetting that was.

[ACE]

Yeh I used to have to put up with Nans stuff, stupid pullovers, daft pictures, home crafts. I would have done the same. Most of it would be rejected at charity shops so the tips the place to get rid of it.

I would not put my kids and grandchildren through a guilt trip.

[saddad]

The pullovers I could understand ACE but embroidery cross-stitch etc takes ages and shouldn't just be cast off ( no pun intended...)  :-\

[Emagggie]

I'm sure it was upsetting for your friend, but I can understand the son's action.  Personally I wouldn't have been upset. To have kept them for as long as he did was something.I'm sure your friend's grandson enjoyed them when he was small. Ace is right, not a good idea to send him on a guilt trip, not a lot he can do about it now anyway.
As we say in this house, move on. Make him a cover for his baccy tin. ;)

[flowerofshona2007]

Really it was down to the son to keep anything special in a box for them for when they would mean a lot to them, once lost they can never be retreaved and x stitch does take a long time and a lot og love to do :(

[tonybloke]

My two-penn'orth
This was always going to be a divisive topic, those folk who think that we should hold on to childhood gifts, and those who have a clear-out of 'stuff' once in a while. Perhaps the chap should have saved them in the attic 'til the kids left home to set up their own places? I personally still have a few bits from my childhood (first cotton booties, gran's glass paperweight), but some folk don't have anything at all from their past in their house. each to their own, I say!!
A guilt trip is the last thing we should send anybody on, btw!! ;)

[raisedbedted]

He didn't need to keep it, it is up to him whether they still held sentimental value.  However he should have been discreet about it so that her feelings were protected.

[Deb P]

My mother also did a 'nursery' cross stitch picture for the birth of my daughter. It stayed on the bedroom wall until my son was about 6, then he decided he was too grown up for it. It has been stored in the loft ever since, in case either of our kids want it for their future children, it would be a bit of family history for them in this throwaway society, so little will get handed down as there is little that is built to last! If they did not want it, then it would go to anyone that wanted it, I'm not very sentimental about stuff.

I don't think my mum noticed when it disappeared, but then I wouldn't tell her I'd taken it to the tip, that was pretty insensitive! Sign of the times though methinks, out with the old..... ::)

[ACE]

x stitch does take a long time and a lot og love to do :(

Are we talking about this junk


Ain't I glad nobody loves me that much.

[tonybloke]

with that sort of attitude, no wonder no-one loves you that much!! ;) ;D ;D ;D

[betula]

I can understand as a lot of work went into the making and also love.

People can do what they wish with these things but it was totally insensitive to tell her.

Over the years my mother gives me stuff that I have bought her saying I am having a clear out and you bought me this so I did not want to throw it out  ??? ??? ???

She keeps giving me noggy pictures she has made..............3D type things and they go in the loft.

Now days I buy her garden stuff or vouchers.

Mothers ay LOL   ;D

[grawrc]

Taking them to the tip seems a bit extreme -if it can be reused I offer it to the kids then do  freecycle or charity shops but then when you're busy sometimes the tip is the easiest option. No strangers coming to your house and no parking problems.

A bit insensitive - he presumably didn't realise how upset his mum would be. I find myself wondering how she found out? Did he tell her or did she ask? As far as I'm concerned once something is given it is no longer my concern - the new owner can do what they like with it.

My sister used to hang my dad's paintings when he visited and take them down when he left. That would be a step too far for me. If I don't like it or don't need it, it goes.

[thifasmom]

it would have upset me, i make a lot of things for family and friends and in reality i don't expect all of those things to be cherished or kept but there are a few things i have made over the years that i poured my love for that person into when i made it for them and so if they were just thrown out with the trash it would hurt, it would hurt a lot.

but i also know there are some friends not to make certain items for as i know they would not cherish it in the way i hope they would so i give them bog standard store bought tat! but with love of course ;).

[manicscousers]

my daughter threw all the toys Ray had made for her first son on the tip when she moved, now she wants him to do the same things for her second, he's made a garage, reluctantly, cost nearly 80.00 and 2 weeks work, the last one was used to stand on and paint, I'm not telling him that, he would be even more upset.  :-\

[raisedbedted]

I had piles of junk that were former present from parents, grandparents etc.  Couldnt get rid of any of it as felt guilty.

That was until I found out that most years they took back the christmas pressies we bought them and exchanged / refunded them.  Now whatever I buy them I make sure I remove the label so they cant  ;D

[Duke Ellington]

I am sure I have fallen into both categories here the UPSET AND THE UPSETTER.
When I go shopping for gifts I think I always buy or make the best gifts in the world. The fact that I think my home made chilli jam would make a fantastic present doesn't mean that the receiver feels the same. Sometimes we speak before we think. In an ideal world maybe the son should have spoken to his mother about her gifts before he dumped them. I have learned from past experiences that once I have given someone a present it now belongs to them. They have a right to do with it what they wish. I am sure that your friends son and his children have had lots of pleasure out of those gifts over the years.

Duke :)

[betula]

Reading all this has bought back to mind one episode I was a bit upset with.

When  one of my kids had their first  born we bought them the most beautiful crib.Obviously I had not made it but it was purchased with love and it cost a bomb.

Later I asked where it was and was told it had to be got rid of because of lack of space.

Yes I was hurt but I won't be doing that again in a hurry. :)

[flowerofshona2007]

Ace NOT like that ! my uncle in Denmark did one that took 5 years to do an it was amazing !!! if you saw it you would not know it was x stitch !
Ok most are not very good but some are amazing like these..



And this ..



I agree not everything that you get as a child can be kept, all i have is a very old doll, throw her out and you die !!!!!
Maybe it would have been kinder not to have said anything and hinted it was in the loft ?