Allotments 4 All

I've only had my plot about a month but i've already 'christened' a few of the people i met....we have:-

Captain Birdseye -  he wears a captains hat and has a long white bushy beard!

Tractor man -  He ploughs all the plots with his tractor

Farmer Giles - He has 6 plots and they all have potato's on them!  Hes a farmer

Shed man - Hes just spent the last 3 weeks building a shed from scratch

ooops a daisy - He didnt bolt his green house down and the wind took it and shared his glass with about 7 other plots!!  Ooops!

Sticky Fingers! - He walks round looking for peoples tools and if anyone has left them out he takes them, puts them in his shed, waits for you to buy a new one the brings them back to you.  Telling you he kept them for safe keeping!

Thats about it for now, but give me a couple more weeks and im sure other will have nick names too lol

If you read the very first post on this thread it tells you about our Sticky Fingers too. Actually the whole thread is worth reading, some of it is hilarious. XX Jeannine

sorry in advance to anyone who smokes..we now have 'f*g ash jim'..he insists on coming in the communal shed, usually when someone's eating their dinner and lighting up  >:(

Her in the corner - because she has the plot in the corner (of course)
Mr Leek - his name is Gerry, but we called him Mr Leek for months, because he gave us a bunch of leeks when we first arrived.

I know most of the individuals names whose plots surround mine. They are all straight forward people and I wouldn't at this early stage want to start giving them nicknames.........they might read this site. I do wonder at what they may call my, apart from "young lady" which at my age I always find flattering. "Irksome little oik" has always been my fear!

funny thread glad I read it all, I dont have nicknames for other plot holders as I know most of them by first name on our lane.

another plot holder calls one of the others jesus and another bin laden, dont know why, they dont look like either of them, lol

We have...

Bonfire Bob....every time he comes on site the first job is to light a bonfire

Geraldo... musician, plays with a jazz band

The Professor...lovely fella, but lets his wife do all the work whilst he sneaks to the back of his shed amongst the fruit bushes/trees.

Glass Eye...likes to ogle the ladies.

When I got my first half plot back in 1977 I was next door to this wonderful gardener from Estonia-Lord only knows what his name was-something beginning with G and then it was unpronoucable.

I used to call him `strong back`to his face because he teased me as this new lad by saying "Digging gives strong back for night" to others I sometimes called him `Sir G`-why? because he was an old Estonion of course!-boom boom.

The only noteable other one was `Arthur`-who took double digging beyond the realms of belief-huge trenches-so Arthur as in Arthur Scargill-well it was around the time of the strikes

I have absolutely screamed with laughter reading this thread Jeannine and I have to own up to something  ;

A week ago I filled up my car at our local petrol station and to my horror realised (too late), that I had left my purse in the top drawer of my desk at work.  I only had my work ID badge and went into the shop very red face and started stammering my poor excuse and could I leave my watch and I would be back at the end of the day to pay my bill... well you can imagine my shock when the chap behind the counter says "don't you have an allotment at .... - "well yes, I gulp - never mind he says - you can bring the money later - I'm your neighbour from across the way!  Well I was so embarassed as I did not even know him. I now would hate to know what he calls me. :-[

The allotment nicknames I have at the moment is Ron the Chicken Man - he really does have chickens and lets us have eggs off them - he is a lovely old guy who always had a kind word to say to everyone.  His lottie is a bit of a mess - what with chicken coops to one side and potaotes to the other.....

Then there's Mrs Perfect Robin - who always calls me Penny - her (and her husband's) allotment is always perfect and she stands and feeds the robin from her hand.  She's the nosy kind and always seems to spot my dog sneaking away and then kindly yells over from her allotment - dog's out!!

Then there's my neighbour "MIA" - I've only clapped eyes on him once in the 8 months I have had the plot.  He swept into the place with his smart sportscar and told me he was erecting a greenhouse!!  I have now found out that he has been given several warnings about the state of his plot - he has rasperries in the front bit - but then gets the rest of the 5 rods rotavated each year.  The weeds he is banking up on the back bit of the lottie that looks like Thitsleville.  I believe his greenhouse - which is lying in pieces just in front of Thistleville has been that way since he got the plot a couple of years back.

There's Shrieking Sheila - she seems to garden with her daughter and talks so loud I can hear her 4 plots down - she has the most annoying voice which seems to carry long distances.

Then finally there's Scarecrow Sue - I think that she's Shrieking Sheila's sister.  I am now on her niece's old plot.  Not very friendly really - just seems to scurry around doing her work.  Her nickname came about because she has this female scarecrow on her plot (which is one away from me) and every now and again her scarecrow gives me the fright of my life - I think that someone is standing looking at me.

Jitterbug

LOL @ SHRIEKING SHEILA  ;D

I think Shrieking Sheilas cousin  has just taken the plot next to me.

It was owned by a really odd chap who looked like he needed a good meal,he only ever grew cabbages,potatoes  and  beetroot so I called him Borsch,anyway he moved over the road and lo and behold his daughter got the plot. She comes with three men who she screams her orders at all the time, we call her The Mouth,and collectively we call them the Family. We have never heard the three men speak but I know they are related because they all have the same hungry look. They have just put a ten inch fence at the front of the plot made out of seeds trays.

Is anyone familiar with the movie that had the duelling banjos in, I don't remember the name but hunters go into a bayou and find some very weird folks.

I find myself humming the tune when I see them.Isn't this terrible,I am truly wicked.

So  Jitters what would they call you I wonder, She who could not pay!!! Sorry love.

But then you could call him...My Hero.

It is a great post, I agree, a real collective masterpiece of fun .

XX Jeannine

Nah Jeannine - I would not call him my hero - as his lady - who seems to be in charge has a lot of tattoos and almost single handedly erected a fruit cage!!  Mmhh - maybe I should call her Jane!!

Jitterbug

maybe you should call him 'jane'

Wondering what my nickname will be after all the hops I've unloaded at the plot this week!

"The Can Snatchers " have a plot next to mine. There are two communial watering cans that live under the water trough.  Most of us have our own but some of the newbies haven't got anywhere to keep them yet, and just use them. These two come up and take the lid of the trough, fill them up and just keep them on their plot while they are planting. I share mine with the other newbies and hope the snatchers might invest in their own can one day or just take the one! Takes all sorts  ;D

[quote

Is anyone familiar with the movie that had the duelling banjos in, I don't remember the name but hunters go into a bayou and find some very weird folks.

I find myself humming the tune when I see them.Isn't this terrible,I am truly wicked.

So  Jitters what would they call you I wonder, She who could not pay!!! Sorry love.

But then you could call him...My Hero.

It is a great post, I agree, a real collective masterpiece of fun .

XX Jeannine


[/quote]
....the film is called Deliverance.

That is it, Deliverance.

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Thank you ,love that bit with the music ,got to get that movie XX Jeannine

Oh nooooooooo  don't start me off!

It is sort of lottie related...........and bear with me, may take a while to relate :-

Sisiter staying over after an op, bored out of her brains, fancy a road trip says I? Yup, where to says she? Manure buying says I! ;D ;D (has to be one of my fave activities sadly!)  Oh OK I suppose.
So off we go to the farm, drive into potholes that my poor car could barely climb out of, and the pair of us sat and looked at the place in a kinda awe..............it looked like we had stepped back into the 1920's, chickens running, cats, dogs barking, shyte everwhere, apple trees, hay bales etc. etc. 
So I climb out of car, eye on barking dog and a pair of feet appear under an ancient tractor, youth looks at me, eye? says he, with a drugged appearance, erm looking for a load of manure to be delivered says I (thiking soooooooo  glad am in my gardening clothes an boots!)
Wait a mo I get someun......oh before you go says I, what on earth is that bald bird, and why is it running round and round in circles? Oh that, tis a one eyed guinea Fowl. (Snork kinda noises from sister in car)  so I waited, (watching bird running round in circles) and another young um appeared, same appearance, same question , same answer...........sister is car suddenly shrieks with laughter,  look look says she, and lo and behold, a one legged rooster calling out for all  his women to see!
Well, this just started to get like something out of a movie, and then the farmer arrived, and what can I hear from my sister, yes, that same music being sung!!
Bless, he looked like he had the same clothes on he had worn since 1920's, remined me of grampa from that programme they used to strap Granny to the top of the truck on a rocking chair, Beverly hillbillies and kept repeating everything I said.
Can I get some manure delivered please? He: Manure Deliverd
On the allotments  He: The Allotments
Ken got a good drop of stuff off you  He: Good drop of stuff
Well you get the jist.
Parted with £30.00 and my sister sung the tune all the way home, what ensued was an afternoon of hilarity, one eyed bald guinea fowls, (obviously being attacked by others rushing up on his blind side) and cockrels that "couldn't get their one leg over" all the usual childish things sisters giggle about, to a point we were crying with laughter, and have now re named the farm the funny fowl farm.
But bless the farmer for keeping birds others would have slaughtered!
She mentioned that it looked like something out of the deliverence, and would be worried that if I went up there by myself I would be popped in a silo never to be seen again! ;D
Oh and it really was a lovely drop of stuff when it arrived! ;)
So Jeannine, if you want to see the Deliverance for real, come visit! ;D

 Doris,there is no way I can possibly attempt to describe how much I have laughed at this last post,it took me about 6 goes when reading it to John before I could get to the end . It is without a doubt the funniest thing I have read on A4A yet. I think your sister has real taste in music and you should write this down and publish it.

Thank you,next time you go ask them if they do B&B, it would be worth the trip  just to see the cockerel . Goodness knows what the cows look like.

Jeannine

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Still cannot stop laughing, I have a headache now and need to go potty quick !!!

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Well - I will think twice about going out to one of our rural farms ... Never know what might hop out at you....

What a funny posting - my tummy still hurts.  Thanks for sharing that.

Jitterbug