Allotments 4 All

Life would be much better lived backwards.

You'd start out dead and get it out of the way.

Then, wake up in an old peoples' home feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension,
then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
At retirement - 18 years of age - you drive the sportscar you can
actually enjoy!

You eat what you want, you party... and you get ready to start
school.

You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a baby, and then .........

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-
like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger
quarters every day...

And then .......

you finish off as an orgasm...

I rest my case!!!

 ;D

 ;D well said

i like  ;D

have you seen Red Dwarf, trouble is, you have to vomit your meals and poo backwards  :o ;D

How about:
Living in a bed sit on your own    :(
Then getting divorced    >:(
Hardly talking to each other at all      :-X
Then fighting a lot with your partner     >:(
Kids leaving home and having time to yourselves     ;D
Great last holidays with the kids before they grow up    8)
Vasectomy   :-[     :o
Having your 4TH child
Then your third
Then twins    ???
Wife ready to drop    ???
Scan shows your expecting twins       :o :o :o
Wife gets pregnant
Drunk and have a quickie   :P :P :P
Go on honeymoon    ;D   
Then get married   ;D
Years later get engaged
Meet the inlaws    :-\ 
Ask out girl you met at a nightclub    ;)
Your eyes meet someone's across a crowded dance floor    :P
Last proper night out with your mates
Durex machine    :P
A drink in the pub, find a tenner on the floor, tread in dogs shite, blimey this could be my lucky night.       ;D ;D ;D

 ;D

you ain't old enuff to be that cynical, Kev ;)

They were snipits from other peoples lives Tony, I checked and only one applies to me, a prize of a packet of seeds to the first correct answer on a post card and don't forget to put a stamp on it I'm not paying the bloody postage as well.  ;D ;D ;D

Very good................ ;)

Been there, got the T shirt, read the book, missed the film....
struggling.