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Quote from: EJ - Emma Jane on September 29, 2005, 23:00:56
Didn't have the naughty anywhere, I knew not to argue with mum, and my sis knew not to argue with my dad.

Oh yes, I completely agree.  I never argued with my parents, I knew better!!!  Words were enough and that's how it should be.  Physical punishment was not the way in our house when we were growing up.  Now that's a sign of good parenting!

My brothers and sisters if we argued would have to do so in whispers as if mum heard any commotion we'd be in for it.  All was calm in our house  :)

I don't approve of physical violence to children. It sends them the message that violence is okay and a solution to a problem.  There are better ways to teach children right from wrong, without betraying their trust in your love. In my opinion!  :D busy_lizzie

Well, this is getting slightly off track but anyway...physical violence in my experience does not always send children a message that violence is OK, sometimes it sends a message that violence is abhorrent and solves nothing.  Not all of the abused become the abusers. 

I'm sorry but this is an volatile subject and I needed to say that.

It's a good job I'm so well adjusted  :)

M.

Wish my kids knew not to argue with me - especially my eldest who thinks that's exaclty what we are here for e.g. what exactly do you mean by asserting that that piece of coal is white?

Not all children who are battered turn out to be batterers, i was a battered child and have the scars to prove it, but i did not batter my 3 children , yes they got the odd smack , but i learned from my experience not to repeat what my mother did to me, "you see people do know right from wrong".Yes i remember it well but i think that was the order of the day when i was younger, i was a married woman with 3 children and was still afraid of answering up to my mother.  My dad god bless him was a pussycat.

Same here; I grew up determined that I would never treat kids the way I was treated.

 I was ignored.

I am the eigth one of nine and Mum would deal out punishment with a clip/smack round the ear or head.(I vowed never to hit my kids round the head but they did get a few smacks) After naughtiness I always said I DO love you but I don't like you very much at the moment!. My Dad who I adored would just lower his newspaper and look over his glasses, that was enough. In fact if I thought I had  done somthing wrong  I would be really upset  to think I had annoyed him. Ho HO many years ago :)    Lorna.
PS Now what was the original post about ??? ??? ;D ;D

I love the way this post has wandered, it`s like being in a room with friends when the subject changes from one thing to another.   MAGIC my friends. :-*

I do agree Rosebud, just like real live conversations. I can just imagine us all sitting around having a cup of tea.  :) busy_lizzie   

Most of the threads tend to meander a bit dont they? Makes for more interest !  ;D

Derekthefox :D

I love your halloween thingy YP . 

Here's a pic I've had for a few years now. Dunno anything about it as to who took it or who's doggies they are but I love it!

The first part of this thread has completely gutted me.

I've been mulling over this all afternoon, trying to decide whether to respond or not, but I can't let it go without comment.

Some of you have taken part of a post, completely out of context and torn complete strangers to pieces like a pack of dogs.

Bearing in mind the succession of posts that resounded in horror at the idea of nasty PMs, public mud-slinging at another gardening site seems a mite hypocritical.

I wrote that post, it was not intended to be in any way offensive - I am not the kind of person who does 'offensive' as a rule. I had hoped that I had been contributing to the community here and on the beeb. I do not publish pictures on this site although I would like to learn how so that I can share my love of gardening, and all that goes with it, with people that I thought were of a similar mind.

I don't actually recall seeing many too many photos published by non-posting members - perhaps someone could point one out to me to support this particular claim.

The reason ( already explained) that A4A is occasionally referred to as 'the annexe' is only to avoid the BBC mods and is certainly not a derogatory term as many of us happily use both boards and often refer people over here for information and community, I notice that no-one bothered to seek any of those posts out....

In response to some other points raised, I have been a viewer of A4A for over a year but registration was really difficult as the email etc went astray and I could not register with the same email address etc etc so in effect A4A kept booting me out, these things happen, that's life.

Should I really consider that to be a personal snub as some of you appear to?

I have seen a side to this site that actually shocks me and I don't think I want to be part of it anymore. The pity of it is that other beeb users will want to stay and you have made it very difficult for them to do so without forcing them to renounce their roots and justify their presence here. I thought that sort of thing went out of fashion 60 years ago.

Many thanks to those people who have been sane and pleasant, you seem to be in a minority.

RosieM

RoseM.  I considered this subject closed now, having let off a bit of  mild steam.  I certainly didn't wish to offend you. I was just a bit taken aback to see A4A being referred to as an "annexe" of the BBC.  It somehow seemed derogatory to this Site and as though it was just being used as a photo posting opportunity.  I had no knowledge that this was a code word for A4A because I have seen A4A on many postings on the beeb site, indeed just a few days ago it was mentioned on an OTGF posting , without any censorship. 

I don't believe I personally attacked anyone during this posting subject and certainly didn't expect to upset anyone to any large degree.  So I don't think you should take what was discussed so much to heart.   After over two years on this site I have never come across any unpleasantness, -  in fact everyone has treated me with great friendliness.  There is bound to be a small element of the membership who aren't good people but I think they are in the minority.

I think the thing that has changed recently is that we have a newer element of members who enjoy a lively debate and we seem to have more  non gardening discussions than we ever had in the past, but I would never condone any unpleasantness or abuse to anyone. I don't think you should  leave the board.  I think this would be a great pity and see no reason for it. I am sorry if you have viewed this to be more than it is and I am sorry it has upset you.    :( busy_lizzie

Hi RosieM,

I'm relatively new to A4A and have never been to the Beeb site, I've found people on here to be in the main friendly, funny, helpful kind etc etc. I think that at the beginning of the thread perhaps people were getting their knickers in a bit of a twist about this, but now it's been explained I'm sure everybody who was offended, peeved or whatever isn't anymore. Part of the problem I feel is that sometimes it's really easy to take the written word and read into it things that aren't really there, also it's difficult sometimes to tell if something is written with a smile or a frown on your face.
What I'm trying to say really is everybody should chill and live and let live. I think it would be a great shame, and a loss to this site (and to you) if you left because of a misunderstanding. :)

RosieM, no offence but if this is such a serious worry for you I envy you, you should be grateful that you don't have some of the problems I and millions of others have to worry about

Here Here, very well said.

The whole point about coming to boards like these, I thought, was to share virtual chat with people of similar interests and exchange information and opinions and jokes in a friendly and convivial atmosphere.  Some of the postings on this thread have fallen well below this and even been downright unpleasant.   It is unnecessary and I don't blame Rosie for feeling upset.

The Beeb boards are quirky depending on which way up the mods are feeling.  In the past, references to A4A have been modded off and posters have got round it by referring to the annexe.  Other times we can be direct and point people here with no fuss.  If being referred to as an annexe upsets you and makes you feel like second class citizens, as has been implied by some of the comments on here, the problems lie with those people and not with Rosie whose private concerns are nobody's business but her own and not to be belittled by anyone here or on the Beeb.

A4A, the Beeb and the RHS boards have different personalities, features and attractions for anyone like me with broad gardening interests and I shall continue to use all three as long as I have something to gain and offer in return.   No doubt there are more out there yet to be discovered.  I don't see why we can't all simply give and take without being unnecessarily unpleasant or rude or growing chips on shoulders.

The Beeb boards are soon to become DNA boards and as I read it on there you will be able to link to Photobucket and Imageshack or others so the need for an "annexe" won't be there any more and posters on A4A will be posting because they choose to in the future.

I used to be a Beeb poster but I found A4A through mentions of the "annexe" and have never gone back since.  This is a wonderful site with so many friendly people, I love it, you all so often brighten up my day.