Allotments 4 All

Sorry need to whinge  :(
Been ill for a while and still feeling bad and depressed with nothing much to look forward to and no energy if there was.
To top it all hubby is not well and best freind is due to go in for major surgery on her spine and i need to be fit to look after her after so no pressure then !
The friont garden is a mess which upsets me to look at but hey ho there are others much worse off than me so better get on with it all  :'(


Sorry to whinge peeps but no family left to talk to

We are always here to have a chat with.

Hope the depression lifts soon,lack of energy is so debilitating.

Maybe just a little bit of work on the garden each day and you will feel a bit better about it.

Maybe you need a girlie day,hair do,new clothes or shoes or something just for you,failing that a nice bubble bath and a few good mags to read...........hope things improve soon.

Sorry to hear you are down Dawn and that your hubby and best friend are poorly. 

Gardening can be so therapeutic so perhaps now is the time to sort out the front.  Once the weeds have gone, perhaps a trip to the garden centre to buy some colourful plants will lift your spirits. 

Don't overdo it though.

Hugs coming your way.   ((((hugs)))))

Pauline

Hi, Dawn..your marshmello runners are looking good..
sorry to hear about your 'black clouds' at the moment, too much stress wears you out..please look after you, too..get on a multi vitamin, eat properly, rest as much as you can, s*d the garden until you feel better, if you need to chat, p.m. me  :)

Sorry to hear that you are down - it is a very rare state for me to be in - but occasionally I sink and wow wouldn't I hate to be like it all the time!

So being a very boring optimist here's what to do!

Sit quietly somewhere - preferably with a bit of sun on you - and just do nothing!

Breath deeply and just have pleasant thoughts about when you were happy ie on a beach somewhere - lovely garden - stroking a pet or whatever - enjoy the heat of the sun and just being quiet.  Continue to breathe deeply and after a few minutes you should feel slightly more cheerful!

Get one of your "things to do" out of the way! It doesn't have to be a major one! It will also make you feel a bit more cheerful.  Ring someone dear to you that you haven't spoken to for a while that used to always cheer you up - they will also lift your spirits and hopefully you will share a silly giggle!

Hopefully you will feel a bit better and better and better......

Best wishes

Ann

Really hope you both soon feel better and that your friend's surgery is a success. Sound advice from other members and I hope it helps that others are thinking about you. Take care.

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time, dawn- hope things start to look up soon for you xx

Never forget Dawn this IS your excended family, hope you hubby and your friend are all well soon.      ;D ;D ;D    :-*

I have been reading a book about the teachings of teh Dalai Llama.  He says you can teach yourselve to enjoy life.  You just make an effort to enjoy small things.  Just eating a yoghurt (or something else you enjoy) and really concentrate on enjoying every mouthful.  Watch a bird and again make an effort to concentrate on it alone.  Smell some flowers and savour the aromas.  Lie in bed and feel the sheets with your toes.  Put on a clean top and feel good about it.  Lie in bed for a few minutes and enjoy feelling warm and relaxed.  It is important in what ever you do you shut out entirely the rest of the world, your worries and stresses.  Even a few moments can produce enormous relief.

It is not important exactly what you do but put all of your thoughts into enjoying something small.  Eat a slice of toast, watch a cloud go by, have a bath, the possibilities are endless. 

Then you will know that tomorrow you can have lots and lots of small moments to enjoy and look forward to. 

Feeling tired - I often have this problem.  Suggest multi vitamin, again believe that it will do the job.  Drink extra water.  Make sure you sleep well. 

Ah, Sweetie, I am sorry to hear things have got on top of you, but you did say down but not out, so dwell on the not out bit. I can't  really tell you how to make things better as I don't know your circumstances but I can say from experience that it will pass and possibly quicker than you might think.

You have a few things on your plate right now and it is pretty much on the cards they would make you feel sad, it is expected and it is OK, it is blooming difficult to smile all the while when sad things are going on around you.

The rotten weeds will come and go whatever, they are stronger than the lot of us, but if you do feel up to it, yanking the bloody  things out can be very refreshing once you push yourself to begin, and the effect seeing them gone will have on you is fabulous.

Meantime, things that work for me.I would have a super slow bubble bath, have a real good private cry. Eat come choccies in the bath, the calories don't count there you know, and try to make a reasonable list of things to do the next day..make it simple and positive and score each one out as you do it. If you feel really down, start the list with.. have a coffee/tea and plan out a morning that is very doable, you can break your garden up into 1 metre quares and do just one.

You do have family, we are right here.. and  whing, actually it isn't really whinging, that is complaining, but pour your heart out as much as you want, we won't get tired of hearing it, I promise.

You might just find that your friends surgery might be a blessing rather than another chore , a crisis bucks me up better than anything I know, so maybe you could have a second list to do with your friends recovery,things you might cook for here etc. I find the very action of making a list often motivates me a little.

Take care sweetie, and come and chat whenever you need to.

Oh and don't try to do things that can wait,cleaning loos and making beds can be done every couple of days without the sky falling in.

With love

XX Jeannine

 Hi Dawn, sorry to hear you are feeling down love, just take one day at a time do not beat yourself up about what you cannot do.  Sod the front garden it will still be there when you feel like doing a bit.
As others have said we are all extended family here all here for each other so come & chat to us about whatever you like please do not feel alone.
I hope your hubby feels better soon.
All the very best to you sweetie PM if you need to.
Love Mary xx.

Thanks so much all, its been a bad time for us for over 18 months with hubby made redundant and his health fell apart with hypothriod as the main cause, almost lost the house, my health failed and our lottie suffered :(
Things have slowly come better, hubby signed his new contract in a full time job  last week and his health is a little better but still loads of hospital appointments, sorted the house out and we had some great help sorting the lottie out  :)
I guess now i dont have so much stress its all catching up with me and im run down, need to get myself sorted out, the prozac is having to work hard to keep me this good.
Just booked a week away at the Dorset steam fair as we go most years i just hope i have the energy !!!!
Tomorrows another day that needs to be faced.

Dawn, you really were hit by so many things at once yet you have survived!  Well done. <pat, pat,pat> that's us congratulating you.

It is no wonder you've also been hit with some depression since it often follows a significant
illness.  The mind reacting to what the body has gone through I guess.  This will pass.
In the meantime you've probably heard that one thing that helps is a bit of exercise. Maybe you could call a friend and
ask her to drag you out on a walk each day. I know of many who have said that has helped
them mentally though they didn't initially think they had enough energy to do it.

Let us know how you're doing. Also congratulations to your husband on his new job.

here's another on line friend that recommends all the above. just remember there would be no "ups" if there were no "downs"just accept them as a necessary happening
((hugs)) marg

Dawn, just to say I am thinking of you too, things will get better, just take one day at a time and keep talking to us, as others have said we are an extended family on here  :)  The Dorset Steam Fair sounds lovely, even if you just go and sit on a chair and watch the goings on, I love doing that and I imagine there is a lot happening there, each year we say we will go, must mention it to OH again.  Take care and keep in touch xxx

Hello  :)

You were right to reach out to A4A-ers - feel the warmth!  ;D

Happiness in the face of loved ones' illness is difficult, but do-able - I know this from experience. You've already got tons of ideas here and I'd endorse a lot of them.

A couple more suggestions you might want to try:

1) Consider how to keep the balance more in favour of your own needs and fulfilment,  starting by encouraging those you're helping to seek out other sources of help. It's fine to say no to people every so often.

2) Schedule a really good belly laugh for you and your hubby every day! (A funny DVD or reading out some of the huge stock of Watershed jokes should do the trick.)  ;D ;D ;D

Hang in there - the effort is SO worthwhile!  :)

Dawn what a rotten time you've had -HAD ! past tense ! things will get better I've read all these posts and all those positive thoughts must count.I'm a great believer in silver linings from black clouds keep posting and sharing and know that we all wish you and hubby well xx
ps good luck with prozac did nothing for me  :(

Thanks all,
Things ARE looking up ! we have booked a weeks holiday without the dogs (not sure how i feel about that and i have a feeling i will be ringing to check a lot  ;D).
Im next on Jeannines swap Yayyyyyyyyyyy! so something to enjoy soon and lose myself in for a few hours!
My health is getting better but still very tired but might be the heat not helping.
Now hubby has a permanent job we have just had his first payday and its get just to be able to pay all the bills !!!
Still lots of hospital appointments to face but heck thats nothing in the great scheme of life, much easier to say that when the rest of life is coming right  :)
There are so many in a much worse state than we are and we can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Ok whinges all over and the hoover is calling my name  ;D   ;D (clever these dysons  ;D  )

Hello Dawn, it is lovely to hear you sounding a bit more positive.
I wish you all the best just take one day at a time it dosen`t seem such a steep hill to climb. All the very best to you & hubby.
Keep coming on & telling us how you are.

Have a good afternoon sorting out the seed parcel when it comes ;D ;D.
Love, Mary xx.

Hi Dawn, its great to here your on the up, how about getting down to the beach in Bournemouth and taking in some of that fresh air.   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D       :-*