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I have decided that I cannot grow melons. This is the only specimen I have managed to grow this year, the third year of trying, and this is the largest fruit I've ever managed. Reminds me of the 'Little Shop of Horrors' song.......'Grow for Me..'


I've given you sunshine
I've given you dirt.
You've given me nothing
But heartache and hurt.
I'm beggin' you sweetly.
I'm down on my knees.
Oh, please-grow for me!

I've given you plant food
And water to sip.
I've given you potash.
You've given me zip.
Oh God, how I mist you
Oh pod, how you tease
Now, please-grow for me!

I've given you southern exposure
To get you to thrive.
I've pinched you back hard,
Like I'm s'posed ta.
You're barely alive.
I've tried you at levels of moisture
From desert to mud.
I've given you grow-lights
And mineral supplements.
What do you want from me- Blood?

I've given you sunlight.
I've given you rain.
Looks like you're not happy,
'Less I open a vein.
I'll give you a few drops
If that'll appease.
Now please-oh please-grow for me!

ha ha Deb, not as sad as mine it was easily the size of a tennis ball but i didnt find it until it was over ripe and rotting  :'(

we had lots of little ones, like yours..we also grew 6 larger ones, the size they should be.
watching the victorian kitchen garden, they limited the vines to 2 per plant and hand pollinated them, I'm going to try that next year  :)

There's plenty of advice on this on VKG. I haven't tried, but I've just scavenged a large iron cold frame, and if I can get it glazed I might try next year.

Feed me Seymour...feed me now! ;D

As OH has me on a very restricted diet at the moment there is a small water melon on my kitchen unit, that I cut for the Open Day, if you want a consolation Prize Deb!
;D

I'm so glad you said it was a melon, at first glance I thought it was one of those Crystal Apple Cucumbers!  :-[ 

Just love the poem btw!  :D

Quote from: Emagggie on October 21, 2008, 21:18:49
Feed me Seymour...feed me now! ;D

I just watched the Steve Martin 'Dentist' song on youtube again......I still laughed like the first time I saw it, a classic! Say ahhhhhhh.......!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=bOtMizMQ6oM

Just caught up with this...aww Deb, wotta cutie :-* and just think...had it been larger we'd not have had your pome?  So, one way or another, little'un's given quite a few people quite a bit of pleasure 8) ;D

Can't claim that one I'm afraid....it's a song from the musical 'Little Shop of Horrors', also available on Youtube....

I am giving up on melons next year...indoors, outdoors, 'especially adapted to cooler UK climes'.....I just can't grow them big style! :-\

very good :)