Allotments 4 All

Day 50.

Half a century of days since the parcel left home!

No news, prepare for your fate.....

There were 3 strips of tarmac, 2 black and 1 green.

The one black strip said to the other black strip, 'Stay away from him, he's a cyclepath!'

cj :)

It didnt come, i thought it would be here this morning and id have something to amuse me over the weekend! hopefully it will be here on monday.

Day 51.

As its Sunday and there's no post, I can hear you all begging for leniency. I have considered your requests, and have decided I will still post a joke. Lets hope the parcel arrives tomorrow ;D

A man is watching television, when he hears a knock on the door. He goes to the door, opens it and sees a snail. He picks up the snail, throws it as far as he can, and slams the door.

Three years later, he hears a knock on the door. When he opens the door, the snail looks up and says: "What was all that about?"

cj :)

Is it nearly home yet? you deserve a medal Cj .

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D @ Caroline

Day 52.

Aaargh!!! Still no news :'( I am running out of jokes ;D

Give this a go , if you dare!! ;D ;D

Sanity Test.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what is the criteria which defines a patient to be institutionalized. "Well" said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him/her to empty the bathtub."

OK, here's your test.

1. Would you use the teaspoon?

2. Would you use the teacup?

3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand" said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or teacup."

"No" said the Director, "a normal person would pull out the plug." Do you want a room with or without a view?

cj :)

still not here  :( :( :( :(

whoah stop wait a minute mr postman
please please please please mr postman!!

not here again this morning!

what do cows do at the weekends?

go to the moo..vies!!

Day 53.

Oh no, gunnerbee has caught jokeitis from the thread too now! Maybe it needs a Government Health Warning. Good news though, as it gives me a day off ;D

Till tomorrow.............................

cj :)

Still not here  :P :P :P :P

Sorry cj you are better at jokes than me, ill leave it to you!!

Oh dear Gunnerbee, hopefully it will get to you soon.

What's wrong with your jokes I think they are good, better than mine!! ;D ;D ;)

An old man was seen with a cabbage on a piece of string, when he was asked why he was dragging a cabbage behind him. He said "I thought it was a collie" ::)

Oh noooooooooooo! Still no parcel! I hope it's not lost :o

Just to keep your spirits up (or down).....

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After approximately 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about eight times.

At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the peanuts themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them.

"Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled, whereupon the old lady answers, "We just love the chocolate around them."

cj :)

 :-X :-X :-X :-X EEEEUUUUWWWW................................. ;D ;D

Day 55.

Where is the parcel ??? I hope the postie gets his skates on ;D I dont know how many more jokes this thread can take ;D ;D ;D


A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a rabbi are discussing what they would like people to say after they die and their bodies are on display in open caskets.

The Catholic priest: "I would like someone to say 'He was a righteous man, an honest man, and very generous'."

The Protestant minister: "I would like someone to say 'He was very kind and fair, and he was very good to his parishioners'."

The rabbi: "I would want someone to say 'Look, he's moving'."

cj :)

Im worried now  :'(
I have the postal reciept so if its not there soon i will go attack the postmaster 
>:(

YAY Its here!! just got in and its on the doorstep!! i will send it on monday now as im it wont get there over the weekend!!
so im going to spend a ROMANTIC WEEKEND IN WITH MY PACKAGE!!
thanks alot!

Thank Heavens,  I'm not even in this swap & I was starting to worry  :)

Panic over!!

Phew !! my tummy was in a knot over it  :-[

YAY..............