Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope

[Borlotti]

One for Kev (and he is not fat), when he returns.
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round."
The other ones says "So are you, you fat slob!"
Sorry, probably offensive to fat people.

[Borlotti]

[manicscousers]

think we've all got 'allotment withdrawal', or cabin fever  ;D
I don't take offense and i am quite a 'round person'  ;D

[saddad]

Speaking as a "Blonde"... I still like
"Two blondes walk in to a bar...









You'd think one of them would have seen it...."

[Borlotti]

I bought some HP sauce the other day.  It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
Surely no-one can take offence at that.

[lewic]

Man goes to a bar, asks for some helicopter crisps.

Barman says sorry sir we only do plane....................

[Borlotti]

A man walked into the doctors,
The Doctor said "I haven't seen you in a long time"
The man replied, "I know I have been ill".

[Unwashed]

Sign on the back of my shed: "My other shed's a porch".

[Borlotti]

Phone answering machine message.
" .. If you want to buy marijuana.... press the has key.. "

[pennsylvannia planters]

Why is tigger always dirty?..............................












Because he plays with poo.

[Borlotti]

hash key

[cornykev]

Did I tell you I was stung in Tesco's last week.






£5  they charged me for a jar of organic honey.   :P      ;D ;D ;D

[InfraDig]

I went to the doctor the other day. He said, "You're overweight". I said, "I'd like a second opinion." He said, "You're ugly too".

[cornykev]

I went to the doctor the other day
Doctor I feel so down everyones ignoring me
NEXT

[InfraDig]

I went to the doctor the other day. I said, "Doctor, I feel like a bar of soap". He said, "That's life, boy."

etc......!

[InfraDig]

This feels like deja vu, all over again!

[cornykev]

A bloke woke up in hospital
The doctor said I have some good news and some bad news
Whats the bad news Doc
I'm sorry but I've had to amputate your right foot
Jesus Christ whats the good news Doc
The bloke in the next bed wants to buy your slippers.
;D ;D ;D

[SamLouise]

"I can't find a cause for your illness," the doctor said. "Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."

"In that case," replied the patient, "I'll come back when you are sober."

[Froglegs]

"Doctor i think I'm going mad I've wrapped me genitals in cling film"
"yes i can clearly see your nuts"