December grass cutting {GG}

[Icyberjunkie]

Been working all day with the unmown lawn mocking me as I never got to it after the warm Autumn so had about 8 inches of growth!   

So as it was reasonably dry thought I'd get my own back so have just finished all my grass.  Trouble is neighbours now think I am truly mad having done so this late in December.

Do you think if I strip to my boxer shorts, get Madonna blaring out Holiday on the speakers and sit out in a chair I could convince them its summer.   Maybe the addition of a BBQ would do the trick.....

What dya think?   

[undercarriage plan]

Well if you do, please, please , please post a pic!!!

[TULIP-23]

Dare You

[Jesse]

Our neighbour was cutting his lawn (not sure your really could call it that) today, I thought he was totally barmy! Now I know he's not the only one

Would love to see you in your shorts icy

[Mrs Ava]

Perfectly sane if you ask me.  I have been cutting mine once a fortnight since....well since 2005!!  It was like a shag pile yesterday and littered with leaves, to a nice short back and sides and it now looks very neat and tidy.  Now the neighbours know what I am like about gardening so would expect nothing less, but if I were out there Christmas day..........

[Derekthefox]

Well mine is going to have to wait until next spring now, but the idea of the barbeque appeals ...

Derekthefox

[ellkebe]

My couch grass doesn't know the meaning of the word December - I've read it a dictionary definition, I've reminded it about the seasons, we've discussed the notion of dormancy, but no - it's still bl**dy growing 

[undercarriage plan]

Ah well you see, you forgot the stern look and finger waggling...

[ellkebe]

And then I'll send it all to stand in a corner - result 

[undercarriage plan]

well done that girl!! Now be tough and don't let it back til it agrees to stay in a tiny weeny area, and spontaneously turn into sweetcorn.....
well, what's Christmas without a few wishes....

[Icyberjunkie]

BUt life being what it is...when it does move into the corner you can grab the flame flower cunningly hidden under your bobble hat and waste those vermin, or bomb them, or nuke 'em or, or or......

oh yes - I don't like couch grass by the way

[ellkebe]

My master plan at the moment goes along the lines of

1) send the couch grass to the corner til it sees the error of its ways (so - for ever!)
2) train/cajole/intimidate/mesmerise/bribe or whatever it takes the slugs into believing that couch is gourmet slug food
3) enjoy the rest of my couch/slug free plot in complete organic smugness 

(fall back position is the flame thrower  )

[MikeB]

My master plan at the moment goes along the lines of

1) send the couch grass to the corner til it sees the error of its ways (so - for ever!)
2) train/cajole/intimidate/mesmerise/bribe or whatever it takes the slugs into believing that couch is gourmet slug food
3) enjoy the rest of my couch/slug free plot in complete organic smugness 

(fall back position is the flame thrower  )

But I don't have any couch grass, how am I going to get rid of my slugs?

[MikeB]

Yes, but I don't throw very well.

[undercarriage plan]

Wardy!!! I'm shocked and surprised at you..... You sit the slugs in a row, and explain in a firm but friendly manner, your problem with their eating habits.....have prepared a few bowls of alternatives for them to try.....if this doeasn't work, then at least you've got them all lined up, should help you aim, Mike..

[MikeB]

.....if this doesn't work, then at least you've got them all lined up, should help you aim, Mike..

Do you think they would line up for me! a mere man, goody this I've got to try. (I suspect you are really taking the p*ss and I'll be out there all night and they'll ignore me).

[Icyberjunkie]

That not very nice for the slugs.  I mean its like shooting pheasants on the ground instead of on the wing.  Not that I've shot anything either way of course.

Nope it just wonlt do.  What you have to do is stalk them, enjoy the chase, then get them with salt.  If you want a real challenge you could set yourself a limit on distance and on only throwing one salt grain at a time.  The best thing is by the time you've cleared the plot of slugs it will be spring again 

I have also been seen slightly inebriated in the late summer evenings giggling manically at the vision of msyelf as I've waondered the garden with a stick in one hand and beer in the other.  NOooooooooooooo you idiots!  I DRINK the beer.  The stick is for picking up slugs and then slinging them over the garden wall trusting to luck that I don't hit any pedestrians or cars as they foolishly walk or drive past.............

[MikeB]

So are you saying that I can't get them to line up for me

[Icyberjunkie]

After all that I'm not sure - I think so....but never tried.......only LOttie is THAT mad!! 

[MikeB]

Is that the same LOttie that does thigh slapping in the A4 panto?