Allotments 4 All

My daughter has lived with her dad since she was 12 because she was given the choice and she didnt think her dad would cope alone. so i have always paid maintenance helped out with school uniforms and trips and given her pocket money. now she is leaving home to go to university althoug not moving too far away. as she is doing a degree in nursing she is entitled to a means tested bursary her dad however in his words to make a point has not filled in the parts of the forms he is required to do. this means that she will not get any money and even if he does relent and do them now it will be ages til she gets any money.
when we divorced an agreement was made up that whoever she lived with the other party would pay maintenance.
now i am more then happy to complete the forms but it would mean less money for her as all my wages are declared and her dad is self employed and i know he earns cash and that many things are off set against tax
my question is if i filled the forms in registered her as living with me and that she did so if only weekends etc how well would our agreement stand up in court that and would have to pay maintenance (i would of course give her all the money) the agreement is for while she is in full time education
sorry its long winded any advice gratefully received

The best advice I can give debster is for you to visit your local Citizens Advice Bureau.  It is a charity, but gives free legal advice.

valmarg

I know, I have been in situations where I needed an instant reply and could not get one too.

Citizens Advice may help you, eventually (they are often very busy) and I do think you should get in touch with them.

There are a lot of other places where you MAY get help. it all depends on the person you first speak to when you telephone of course but I have had free help before and have got it through striking lucky in some instances.

All institutions have a legal department of some sort. Or volunteers who help them.
Try
Her former college
The University
Student's Union
The hospital
Social Services
Your own trade union
Women's aid
Local Library may know of any additional free advice in your area.
Children's Charities like Barnados
County Court family division

As your daughter is a student she may even be entitled to legal aid if she sees a solicitor, rather you doing it in your name.

Good luck with it all

well just when we thought it couldnt get any worse it has, not only will she not get a bursary if he doesnt declare his earnings on the forms but if he doesnt sign them then she wont get her tuition fees paid either. :o

i cannot complete the forms cos she doesnt live with me and she cannot do them herself because she hasnt lived alone for 3 years, im not sure what will happen next year if he wont complete them.

my mum contacted his mum who said she thinks we are encouraging her to go university and are going to get her into thousands of pounds of debt  >:(

i dont know what to say or do, my heart is aching for what he is putting her through but my hands are tied. he obviously doesnt cherish his relationship with her 

I don't know what to say debster.  I was never bright enough to go any further than Further Education College to do a secretarial course.  How can your daughter's father deny her the chance of going to uni - especially on the excuse that it will get her into debt.  I doubt she is unaware of that fact.  So, the next question is....what is the REAL reason he won't do the paperwork.....what is his business up to that he to hide?  What has your daughter said to him?  I do hope you are able to find a way around all this.
twinkletoes

If she gets the nursing bursary she'll be in a lot less debt than most students because it doesn't have to be paid back. As a CAB adviser myself, I'd recommend you start there and they may be able to contact the university for you or recommend a solicitor if you haven't already got one.

a meeting is set for this evening for him to complete the forms if this is not done then i will seek to take it further, his accounts are done every year by an accountant so cant see he has anything to hide he told his mum he isnt doing it cos the house is messy that she is a messy teenager as far as i know she hasnt said anything wrong he wanted her to stay at home and commute to uni  im guessing so he could carry on receiving maintenance from me

Just hoping things go well for you and your daughter Debster.

thank you

well that's just plain petty!  "Cos the house is messy?"  So he can't remedy that himself?  He should face up to life that quite a lot of girls that age are "messy".  I do hope you get it sorted tonight Debster.
twinkletoes

thank you

I agree Debster

But don't worry too much as I am sure that these people who give out and sort the grants have far worse than your ex.

Just a thought though - do you think it may be that he doesn't want his little Princess to leave home and to become independent.  A lot of fellas have difficulty letting their little princesses go as they know how a man thinks and acts and doesn't want his princess to come to any harm?

Good luck tonight anyway!

Old Bird

;D

I take it you're not paying maintenance through the CSA, if you were he'd be out of luck as it would stop when she left full time Secondary education/stopped being eligible for child benefit.

I just found this on the Directgov site:

"Dependent students

Generally, you'll be classed as a dependent student if you're under 25 on the first day of the academic year for which you're applying for support and are financially dependent on one or both of your parents (even if you don't live with them).

If you're a dependent student, your local authority will take into account the income of your parents or adoptive parents on top of your own income.

If your parents are divorced or separated and you started your course in or after September 2004, the local authority will assess the income of just one your parents, rather than both - whichever one seems appropriate to them in the circumstances. They will ignore income from your other parent, but will take into account the income of any spouse, civil partner or live-in partner of the parent they decide to assess (including a partner of the same sex if you started your course in September 2005 or later)."

It also says contact the LEA or student Finance company id you have a problem.

I'm going to have a bit of a problem too I think with my children's father but for a different reason as he can afford to help them financially (he's recently been made a professor) and I can't. He will do everything he can not to, even though we made an agreement when we divorced.

Good luck Debster, don't let him ruin his daughter's life.

well they have had a huge argument tonight and if her dads new girlfriend hadnt been there nothing would have got sorted. they havent been able to complete the forms tonight but will allegedly be doing it tomorrow, hopefully once this is sorted they can start working on their relationship its so hard to watch your child (no matter how old) upset by someone who is supposed to put her first before everything else

That sounds a bit more positive, Deb.Hope he keeps to his word and gets it done today.