Allotments 4 All

Had a rare sighting of one allotmenteer today: 'Invisible Steve'.

He was in the local Co-Op buying Carlsberg Special Brew.

Never goes up to the allotment. Never does any gardening and even if he did, no-one could see him to his 'magical wall of privet' that's about 12ft high  ::)

 ;D ;D ;D@ Invisible Steve!!

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D@ Doris_Pinks!!!

Our allotments are very small, only twelve and a half plots so everyone knows everyone else but we have a few nick names:
The Welsh Wizard 'cos he's...Welsh and he whizzes around his plot.
Roundup .... no weeds live on his plot.
Perfect Pete .. this one is ironic if you know what I mean
I am David when I am at the plot and Allotment Dave when I am not. There are lots of David's in the pub you see!

I really shouldn't - but ...

There is a loverly little ancient Chinese lady who has the most fantastic allotment that she lays out using fen shui (?) - 'cos nothing is in lines - little triangles of lettuce - groups of leeks.  Every time (and I think that she actually lives there!) that I go there she is watering something (with a hose) - I call her paddy.

Then there's her neighbour, an elderly (90+) gentleman who always wears a beret (and sometimes a cravat) - so froggy seems appropriate.

And my wife refers to the bloke on the allotment next to ours as farty pants - every time he bends over (apparently) ....

I'm aching so much from laughter  ;D. At one point I couldn't read for tears. The phone has just rung and I couldn't speak for laughter, so they hung up.
I don't have an allotment yet, (4th on the list) but I'm sure when I do, I will have names. My memory is shocking for names.
I had a (single) neighbour a few years ago who use to watch her kids go off with *Week-end Dad* and always said the same thing. So we christened her *Mrs Love-You-Lots*
Please keep the names coming, this is the best thread I have read...EVER... ;D
I really needed a good laugh today and it has worked wonders.
Lauren  :D

one of the old boys on my site is just crying out for a nickname but I can't bring myself to think of one.
you can hear him coming a mile off because every 30 seconds or so he clears his sinuses/lungs/throat/ears with THE most revolting noises :o. it must be a gravity-assisted condition because it definitely gets worse when he's bent over weeding.

when he's not gargling/snorting/gurgling he's singing, and he does actually have a loverly singing voice despite the problems he has with his airways!

Quote from: norfolklass on May 16, 2007, 13:47:19
one of the old boys on my site is just crying out for a nickname but I can't bring myself to think of one.
you can hear him coming a mile off because every 30 seconds or so he clears his sinuses/lungs/throat/ears with THE most revolting noises :o. it must be a gravity-assisted condition because it definitely gets worse when he's bent over weeding.

when he's not gargling/snorting/gurgling he's singing, and he does actually have a loverly singing voice despite the problems he has with his airways!

You could name him LINUS...Rhymes with sinus ;D
Lauren

 So Ellie Ess.What are you doing with a picture of my husband please !!!

XX Jeannine

I would call him Snortalong

Sorry Jeannie  ;D, as soon as I read you liked Sean, I just had to fine a nice pic of him. I think he gets better with age  :P
Lauren

Have you seen his web site.

Oh and  he is my screensaver on my lap top.

He makes my toes curl!!

XX Jeannine

I am ringing this back to the top because it is relevant to another post I am just putting on XX Jeannine

I had to read this again. Just like the first time I've laughed till I cried.
Thought I would bump this back up so any newbies could read this and perhaps share some of their Lottie Nicknames.
I haven't met many fellow allotmenteers yet. Being down the bottom and behind the neighbours runners etc I don't think they can see me. But I'm sure I will have names soon enough  ;)   ;D ;)

Lauren  ;D  ;D  ;D

Our self-styled plot leader, and on every local committee going, goes by the real name of Mr. Bean (yes really!). An obvious nick-name for his 'friends' is Beanie (rolling-eyes when the name said).

This seemed far to obvious, so neighbouring holder with same sense of humour who finds him as annoying as I do christened him 'Runner Bean' (he's skinny) and his brother with the next plot who is the roundness of a barrel, 'Broad Bean'.

Since I saw Runner Bean ordering his teenage daughter around on his plot last month (she ended up doing all the weeding), he has been renamed 'Fava Bean' (it works when you say it right).

Any other puns on Bean let me know.

Aren't nicknames great for letting off steam and frustrations.

When he retires from the committes PG I suppose you can call him asbean.   ;D ;D ;D

The one with the rolling eyes could be a Papa de Rola bean, do they have a mean streak anywhere that could be a Rattlesnake bean,or a dumb one that could be a Noodle bean,maybe one that gets a bit hot who could be Red Noodle bean,perhaps a wife in the background that could be a Painted Lady bean, an old wrinkly that could be a Pension bean, one who has a lot to say could be a Tongue of Fire bean..........whatever lets all hope in the end thay are all Human Beans.

We have a new lottie holder who brings his wife, she sits on a chair talking to him while she smokes and does her knitting..we call her Tale of Two Cities Wife(coc I can't remember the name of the woman who knitted by the chopper!!

XX Jeannine

Madame Defarge  ;D

That's the one, thanks Trixie XX Jeannine

Quote from: Jeannine on September 09, 2007, 10:44:07
The one with the rolling eyes could be a Papa de Rola bean, do they have a mean streak anywhere that could be a Rattlesnake bean,or a dumb one that could be a Noodle bean,maybe one that gets a bit hot who could be Red Noodle bean,perhaps a wife in the background that could be a Painted Lady bean, an old wrinkly that could be a Pension bean, one who has a lot to say could be a Tongue of Fire bean..........whatever lets all hope in the end thay are all Human Beans.

We have a new lottie holder who brings his wife, she sits on a chair talking to him while she smokes and does her knitting..we call her Tale of Two Cities Wife(coc I can't remember the name of the woman who knitted by the chopper!!

XX Jeannine

what about bore lottie bean  ;D

just wanted to bump this up to the top again, as it's such a good thread.

also, an update on my noisy neighbour: I've recently found out that his lovely singing voice has been inherited by his son, who apparently earns quite a nice living as the local Elvis impersonator ;D his proud dad regularly has him blaring out of his truck stereo, and carries a framed pic on his dashboard ;D ;D ;D so now I'll have to call him Vernon ::)

Quote from: norfolklass on May 16, 2007, 13:47:19
when he's not gargling/snorting/gurgling he's singing, and he does actually have a loverly singing voice despite the problems he has with his airways!