Allotments 4 All

What’s your WORST WEEDY NIGHTMARE?

Having spent all morning preparing the early potato bed, mine has to be ….

DOCKS  >:(  >:(  >:(  Score ‘3’ on the angry face scale:

Blasted things. The roots are longer than a maths exam. I’ve had to purchase a drain spade to get the swines out.

Apparently, and according to Mad Frank, a dock seed was found in an ancient Egyptian pyramid and it STILL germinated. And according to my neighbour Ahmed, you will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever get rid of them (mind you, he’s not known for his optimistic outlook on life!)

I don’t really care if its leaves DO help soothe nettle stings. I’d rather roll around naked in a patch of nettles than have to dig up ONE MORE OF THESE ATROCIOUS WEEDS.

HORSETAIL  >:(  >:(  Scores ‘2’ on the angry face scale:

This vile abomination springs up on my allotment quicker than Zebedee at bedtime and a cruel twist of nature has made its roots BROWN so you can’t see them in the soil. ARGGHHHHHHHHH  ::)

According to Jekka McVicar it has culinary and medicinal properties so I suppose it can be partially excused. It can also be used as a substitute for asparagus (not in MY lifetime/saucepan Jekka, but thanks anyway) and can be used to treat amnesia and ‘general debility’. I think if I ever had amnesia the first thing I’d try to remember to forget would be to use it as a treatment.

Apparently, in mythological circles, it has been associated with goblins, toads, snakes and the devil. That figures!

DANDELIONS  >:( Score ‘1’ on the angry face scale:

Prolific little breeders aren’t they? One slight puff of wind and a million babies are born. A clear case for the Marie Stopes Dandelion Clinic. Look out for one opening near you!

Dandelion root coffee??? Erm … no thanks! But I do use the leaves for salads and add them to roast veg dishes so they are also partially excused.

But despite the 'partial pardon' I have to say OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!!!!!

The leaves are also good for kidney and liver strengthening, so if you’ve been on the ‘pop’ and find yourself face down in your front garden on a Saturday night then don’t try and get up. Just crawl towards the nearest dandelion and eat it instead of a kebab. You’ll probably p**s the bed anyway so ignore the fact that the leaves have diuretic qualities.


So what’s your worst weed? Feel free to vent your spleen here  8)

Trixie XXX

LOL trixie, loved your post.
>:( >:( >:( cooch
>:( >:( the creeping thing with small reddish brown leaves and little yellow flowers, and nodes on its roots
>:( cleavers aka sticky willie, can't find its roots, and it hides whilst you're weeding then grows several feet in the night

Supersprout! Does the 'creeping thing' weed you mentioned stink horrible? Easy to pull out but smells foul???? I've got that in my front garden ... YEEEUUUURCH!

Dandelion, ranks a 5 with me.

:'(

Couch...just when you think you have got it all it appears again just at the edge of your periferal (sp?) vision!! You go for that bit, then see more, and more, and so on...

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

>:(

Sad for a Scot really but I think for me public enemy number one is thistles >:( >:( >:(
closely followed by couch  >:( >:(

Couch here too ...

I hate bindweed as I have it growing all around my lottie fence and just can't get rid of it.  Another one is dock as it goes so deep so keeps on coming up no matter how much you dig it out.  Hate ground elder  too which I have in my house garden,  - those blessed roots are everywhere, just thank heaven it is clear at the lottie. Couch is a nuisance, but I live with horsestail.  busy_lizzie

My top worst weed is creeping buttercup, followed by ground elder, followed by horsetail.

creeping buttercup >:( >:( >:( ( legacy from an old neighbour )
dandies >:( >:( >:(
docks >:( >:(

creeping buttercup :P :P :P :P
thistle :P :P :P (well I think they're some sort of thistle, they're spiky and prickle you when you try to pull them out)
couch :P :P
nettles :P

Bindweed, followed by ground elder. I don't mind docks so much, they don't travel like the others, and once they're out they're out. As long as you don't leave them overwinter, the new ones are easily got rid of. I don't like goosegrass, and it's a bit of a problem right now. I had to abandon my flowerbeds to the weeds for a couple of years as every time I weeded, all the flowers there walked. I've now got it coming up like cress, the seedlings go straight through a layer of mulch. But it's only a matter of getting it before it flowers.

Bindweed   :( :( :( :(
Couch grass  :( :( :(
Nettles         :( :( :(
Cows Parsley  :( :(
Creeping buttercup   :( :(
Sun spurge Euphorbia helioscopia (pictured below)  Very poisonous   :(

Horsetail - I'm taking up miles of root and bud, but I know that there is at least three times as much still in the soil below the level that I can reach.

In comparison, don't mind couch or creeping buttercup as they are easier to get up.

When it dries up a bit, they are all going to get the Roundup treeatment ;D ;D

In my garden:
:( :( >:( cleavers
>:( >:( creeping buttercup
>:( brambles

On my allotment:
>:( >:( >:( >:( >:( couch
>:( >:( >:( brambles (REALLY BIG ONES!!!!)
>:( >:( >:( horseradish
>:( >:( docks

I've got dandelions in my garden too, but quite like them ;)! I feed them to the guinea pigs  (chickweed too).

worst weed on my plot Hairy finger grass ,I hate the stuff!!

Bindweed  >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Docks        >:( >:( >:( >:(
Dandelion >:( >:( >:( >:(
Horseradish  >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(

Mines the small annual nettle that seeds itself from about two inches high onwards,

bittercress, which seeds like mad too, especially when sprayed

and the worst pain in the ar@e, the annual meadow grass!

All hell for the gardener, especially when you know there is more weed seed in that ground to more than last for your lifetime !   ???

And bindweed can be beaten, ive beaten it by digging out every last little piece of root, and virtually no reappearance in over a year !

And here I am about to plant horseradish!

As a helper to old folks with their gardens.

- Celendine
- Self heal
- Slender Speedwell
Self heal is a 'Ba***rd' to get rid.
Climate change is definitely an influence on the variety of weeds I have had to deal with during the last 5 years.