Men are from Mars......

[Mrs Ava]

Really should have been posted by a chap...but, well, a chap I am not, and posting it I am!

 ;D

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women
>differ  so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars
>thing. And I  never figured out why men think with their head and women
>think with their  heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual
>desire gene gets thrown  into a state of turmoil when it hears the words
>"I do."
>
>
>
>One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
>passion  starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
>it. I just  want you to hold me."
>
>
>
>I said, "WHAT???"
>
>
>
>So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She
>explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman.
>I'm  thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing
>was going to  happen that night, so I went to sleep.
>
>
>
>The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I
>walked around with her while she tried on three different, very
>expensive  outfits. She could not decide which one to take, so I told her
>to take all three of  them. She then tells me that she wants matching
>shoes worth $200.00 a pair  to which I say OK. And then we go to the
>jewellery department where she gets a  pair of diamond earrings.
>
>
>
>
>Let me tell you. She was so excited. She must have thought that I was one
>wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was
>testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even
>play  tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was
>OK. She was  almost sexually excited from all of this, and you should
>have seen her face when  she said, "I'm ready to go to the cash
>register."
>
>
>
>
>I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't
>feel  like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face. It
>went  completely blank. I then said, "Really, honey, I just want you to
>HOLD this stuff  for a while." And just when she had this look like she
>was going to kill me, I  added, "You must not be in tune with my
>financial needs as a man."
>
>
>
>I figure that I won't be having sex again until some time after the
>spring of  2008.
>

[Mrs Ava]

[eileen]

Bl...y fantastic EJ!!  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D
Must show this to my husband although I hope it doesn't give him any daft ideas when we next go shopping!!!  :-/
I've a couple of friends who would laugh themselves silly at it too - got any more? :P

[gavin]

;D ;D ;D

Nice one, EJ!

[Hugh_Jones]

She asked "Darling, if we get engaged, will you give me a ring?"

He said "Of course, darling. What`s your number?"

[busy_lizzie]

Excellent EJ!  Your on a bit of a roll at the moment.  You have kept me laughing, while I have been scrolling down all the messages I haven't read while we were off.  :D busy_lizzie