Too much to do so stop doing everything

[pg]

Does anyone else feel like this sometimes?

I know full well that at times I get depressive episodes and when this happens the very thought of getting out into the garden to do, what I usually think of as exciting things, turns into a negative thought process where one mentally thinks of all the things there are to do (so, so many when you come  down to it) that it makes one almost panic and so one can't start anything at all with regard to the garden. Sometimes these thoughts get so on top of me that I just can't face going outside at all.

Now I'm not like this all the time and I've trained myself to think more positively and only think of the to do list as small manageable chunks (what will I do in the next hour rather than what needs doing over the next few weeks) and I find this helps. Along with the sunshine! Sunny days help so much and lift the mood.

Does anyone else feel like this? What's your coping strategy?

[pg]

[ACE]

Just imagine what we had to do to create a prize winning garden from scratch in less than two weeks. Make a list of all the jobs and set targets for the day. Then split that list again marking out time for rewards. It might just be a cuppa at the start of the day, a walk around the show for a chat later, then the difference between a nice dinner or a quick snack, depending on how we are doing, a doughnut with afternoon tea then a decent drink at the end of the day or straight to bed so we can get up early and catch up if we fail to reach our target.

They might not be the rewards that you can use, but you must have something nice to tempt yourself with. The most rewarding thing is finishing the job.

I mostly have to work with humans of the female variety and like most women they want a look around the shops, but I always found a tiresome chore for them to do before they could go. It always got done in record time.

[Paulines7]

Does anyone else feel like this sometimes?

I know full well that at times I get depressive episodes and when this happens the very thought of getting out into the garden to do, what I usually think of as exciting things, turns into a negative thought process where one mentally thinks of all the things there are to do (so, so many when you come  down to it) that it makes one almost panic and so one can't start anything at all with regard to the garden. Sometimes these thoughts get so on top of me that I just can't face going outside at all.

Now I'm not like this all the time and I've trained myself to think more positively and only think of the to do list as small manageable chunks (what will I do in the next hour rather than what needs doing over the next few weeks) and I find this helps. Along with the sunshine! Sunny days help so much and lift the mood.

Does anyone else feel like this? What's your coping strategy?

You are not alone pg.  My OH and I feel like this at times because we have so much to do.  Not only do we have to care for a very large garden but we still have a lot that needs doing in our house.  It doesn't help that I am disabled and will be 70 this year.  Fortunately OH is 4 years younger and reasonably fit.  So how do we cope? 

Like ACE, I make a list and get great satisfaction when I can tick something off.   If it's a joint list and is too long, OH gets really down and then ends up doing nothing.  I have made lists of everything that needs doing and then prioritise it, but that in itself can be depressing.  I now find that a short list  covering a day or even a week, works best for us.  It is also good to have a break from all the work by going out every now and again.  A day out at some beautiful gardens can be very inspiring and gets us fired up for working in our own garden again.

[macmac]

I learnt over the years that  you shouldn't do what needs doing . but should do what you can. That way you achieve something which can help lift spirits . I find lists daunting as they show me what I haven't done 

[rosebud]

 PG, yes I   am feeling like that at the moment so I know how you feel.
I am going to take Ace advice.  we have rather a big garden & I am disabled now with v v painfull arthritis in my knees but life must go on & I shall make my list this evening for 1 day at a time, O H works hard in the garden I do the greenhouse & pots & baskets I love doing them I find it therapeutic when I am down. Did my spuds in potato bags today  I had to do something to keep my mind off other things so I did spend 2 hours down there enjoying it all.
PG just take 1 day at a time,  if you can do what needs doing first & so on.
I hope you feel much better soon & your garden beckons you in a nice way.
Thank you Ace for your idea, I am sure lots of folk will copy that one.

[Ellen K]

Yes, I agree with what others have said, a list can be very daunting.  I just try to do a few tasks every day.  Not necessarily the most urgent or important ones all the time either. 

And as you say PG, it is easier when the weather is kind to you.

[pg]

Oh so many wonderful, inspiring and kind replies & suggestions!

The sun beckoned this afternoon so I was out. And yes I did do some on my list but not all. As so many have suggested, doing something achievable is better than attempting a long list.

I do like the suggestions of short lists rather than long daunting ones. I hadn't actually contemplated the idea that a long list might be offputting and do the opposite of what you want to achieve - that is doing something.

I do find routine tasks help at a time like this which are good as you know what they involve and roughly how long they take. I think it's the fear factor of starting an unknown length of task that's off-putting.

I shall take strength from you ace replies. Ta ever so.

[Silverleaf]

I know exactly how you feel! I've neglected my garden for a few years because of illness (fibromyalgia), and now my raised veggie beds are full of dandelions, couch grass and even the odd bramble.

I really want to do some growing this year but I still don't have the energy to face all the weeding, it makes me tired just thinking about it, and I have no idea where to start. I started to make a list and plan my plantings but got quickly discouraged because there's just too much to do. :(

[rosebud]

 Silverleaf, welcome to A4A.
I think you would be better to do a small to do list for 1 day at a time. I am sure it will help you, just try to do I raised bed per  WEEK not in a day . I am sure if you get one  bed done you will be so pleased with yourself you may want to do a second.  Good luck  Rosebud.

[Silverleaf]

Thank you Rosebud!

My friend suggested I try a layer of cardboard covered with a load of compost/manure instead of digging. That sounds much easier.

[goodlife]

Thank you Rosebud!

My friend suggested I try a layer of cardboard covered with a load of compost/manure instead of digging. That sounds much easier.

That will work well with annual weeds but sadly tough stuff like brambles and dandelions won't be defeated that 'easily'.
Try to make effort to go out each day...even if it is just 10 minutes at the time.."I just get rid of those 2 weeds"...usually what happens, once you have made the first move to go out..the 10 minutes turn into 15 (or more)...and once you got those 2 weeds up..you usually feel so good that you might attempt to get rid other 'few'....and so it will all accumulate and gets done..little by little..weed by weed...day by day... ...and the feeling of wellbeing will grow too...

[pg]

So agree goodlife!

Wonderful to see such support from A4A members.

[Garden Manager]

I know exactly how the OP feels. I garen both at home and for a living and sometimes get a little overwhelmed, especialy at this time of year  when there is so much to do and it feels like there is no time to waste/lose.

I have copong strategies though, firstly i try to follow the philosophy that it is better to do one or two jobs well and complete them rather than try to do loads and either not finish any of them or try to rush to complete and do a bad job of them. prioritse the most important jobs and try to finish it before moving onto the next.

When it comes to lists, divide jobs into:
1 Must/have to do - ie the urgent jobs
2 Need to do - important but non urgent jobs
3 Like/want to do - Non urgent, not important but nice to do like planting a pot or taking cuttings.

Tackle jobs in this order and if you get to the 'fun' jobs at the end then this is your reward for the hard work done beforehand.

I find the when it comes to big weeding jobs or digging a large area its best to break it down into small bite size bits, either mentally or physically. Tackle each bit as if it was the only bit you have to do, then take a break, do something else perhaps and then come back and do another section and so on. You will get less demoralised and it will be better for the body as well!!

Hope this helps

[Alipip]

I have this coping strategy - I do a bit of digging, then work facing the way I have dug only so the stuff to do is behind me and I can't see it  . Look at small chunks, not at all that has to be done. Set small targets and you will soon be flying. I have only just found out that what I thought was a cold is actually angina, so got to take things easier than I have been doing.

[Garden Manager]

I have this coping strategy - I do a bit of digging, then work facing the way I have dug only so the stuff to do is behind me and I can't see it  . Look at small chunks, not at all that has to be done. Set small targets and you will soon be flying. I have only just found out that what I thought was a cold is actually angina, so got to take things easier than I have been doing.

Ouch, scary or what?

I always 'work' backwards like that. Thought it was the best way anyway, you keep off what you have already done.

[no1puddin]

I have to agree- I have been meaning/trying to book a holiday for the last 2 months, yesterday I gritted my teeth and picked up the phone, it was so easy don't know why I was so worried about doing it (hearing difficulties ect).
I also just look at the weeds in one small area and by the time I stop have done 3 times as much as I set out to do. x puddin :

[BarriedaleNick]

I must admit that I have been overcome with stress recently - work has been difficult and house/garden/plot seems like too much to do esp as I have not been sleeping at all well.

Hopefully on the mend now and forcing myself to do more things for the plot but I think Ace has the key in breaking all things down into little chunks and giving yourself time to have a little reward here and there.