Help! - alcoholism

[Sarah-b]

What can I do to help someone I care about, who I believe to be an alcoholic. But is in complete denial about it. And is currently in hospital with an incredibly serious injury having fallen down at the weekend?

Thanks for any advice/suggestions.
Sarah.

[Sarah-b]

[NattyEm]

I came up with this site on google it may help you, it seems t have a lot of info from the perspective of friends and family.

http://www.alcoholconcern.org.uk/

[wardy]

My mum hit the bottle when the grandkids grew up and didn't see her so often.  She lived alone in a flat with no garden so she got herself a lotty but it was far too overgrown and all she got was advice - not help so she gave it up.  she got bored and started to knock back the sherry.  She was drunk most of the day and staggering about in town etc which was very painful for us all and she was neglecting herself and the flat.  She ended up in casualty but was ok physically but it was the last straw for my sister and I and we "shopped" her to the doctor.  We got her to surgery on the pretext that they'd asked to see her as they hadn't seen her for a long time.  Once confronted with it she gave it up immediately.  She was very annoyed with us at first but that soon wore off and she's never had a drink since

[Ceri]

If your relationship is close enough for the hospital doctors to talk to you, have you let them know of your friend's alchohol intake - it may affect the treatment/drugs needed for the injury.  Also, don't hospitals all have a resident hospital social worker?  Might be up their street, esp. as it will affect the person post-treatment.

Whatever you do, don't try and give support without having support yourself - you know you are going to end up the bad guy in your friend's eyes - at least for a while.  Al-anon and the website NattyEm found may be a good place to start.  Presumably you are not the only person to be aware of the problem (or the only one not in denial)?

[Ozzy]

Okays, heres my wee bit..

firstly this person has to want to give up for themselves, and tis easier to mention the drinking in casual conversation and not dwell on it.. and if the person wants to talk about it, listen, dont offer any advice yet, allow them too speak, and then move on to options..

communtity addictions unit are fantastic but like all services overstretched and i believe the wait is 8 weeks, which for many is too long, so dont expect this peep to stop straight away, and if you can, encourage them to see the community addictions but gently, and if this person continues to drink whilst waiting..  dont judge them or anything just keep in mind that the help you need is on its way.. communtity addictions units do such a fantastic job.

there is also tablets that doctor may be able to sunscribe but equally so may be reluctant to prescribe them.. they are..
antibuse, which work by making the peep feel ill with just a little bit of alcohol intake and the drug stays in the body for 5 - 7 days afterwards.. so the peep gave in to tempation temptation, and decided that they neeed a drink and stop taking the antibuse, there is also that 5-7 day gap between where they can change their minds about having a drink and continue with the tablets.. prescribing anti-buse really is about not how much of a problem the person has with alcohol, but more a resolve that they really do want to stop drinking if only for a short while,  Acampral is another drug that works on roughly 50% of peeps.. so if it works brill if it doesnt shame, Acampral works by reducing the desire for alcohol, very much like Zyban the anti-smoking drug, but with far less side effects.

then there is AA which for some works and for others it doesnt and does have a spiritual/religiousy side to it,

but best bet the community addictions unit.. your local chemist or docs will have the address

Good Luck

Ozzy

:-* :-* :-*

[Sarah-b]

Thanks for the advice.
It's my Mum.
It's really difficult because she is so hugely in denial.
She wouldn't admit to the alcoholism and she is even trying to diminish the severity of her injury.
She nearly died on Saturday night. And now she is lucky to still have her leg. But she is saying "oh, it's just a little bit of a leg thing  - be better soon".
She has really let me down. I am very cross.
Have just found out that she may be offered a bed while she re-cooperates. That would mean probably another 6 weeks in hosp. Please let her get that bed. Six more weeks off the booze and the fags.

sb

[Kerry]

i want to wish you good luck, Sarah. it's very difficult to help those who don't want to be helped- they have to want it for themselves. unfortunately local authorities have different provisions for treament with addiction, so telling you what there is here would not be much use! alcoholism, or any addiction/illness does not only affect one person though, it affects those caring for that person. its effects spread wide. so think of getting some support for yourself too, as it can provoke a lot of different emotions that are hard to cope with.
all the best.

[GREENWIZARD]

.

[rosebud]

Hi Sarah , i am so sorry for you that it is your mum,please also try and get some help for yourself you cannot deal with it all on your own, are you an only child or have you got siblings that can help by first all getting together to discuss the problem and to see how to get help, Do you know what is making your mum drink can that be changed, don't answer your personal business just wondering
if i can think of anything to help.............I really hope she gets the bed, keep in touch Sarah and let us know how things are going along. I know you must feel very cross and let down , i just hope that now she will begin to realise what she is doing to herself and to you, maybe the hospital will be able to help by putting her in touch with somebody to deal with the problem...................
Do take care of yourself Sarah and keep in touch thinking of you.love Rosebud.