are we being horrible?

[elvis2003]

hi folks,we have just acquired next doors half plot,so we now have a full plot yay! problem is,two of our family members have asked,seperately,for a small strip of land for their own use,and we dont want to give it to them!we have lots of reasons,the main one being we dont have much of our plot in full sun,so dont want to give any of that away! but also,our plot is our haven,and we would hate the thought of arriving there seeing someone else already there,plus the next thing is they would want keys for the sheds etc etc. also,no one gave us a hand to tackle the ten foot high brambly wilderness when we took the original plot on! but are we being selfish? we DO share produce,have BBQs with family,and the kids have window boxes that we plant with them,so its not like we dont share the plot in other ways. how do i say no without sounding like a c*w?

[elvis2003]

[tomatoada]

Don't do it.
Can you say its against the rules.
I shared to start with.   So different now I have the whole plot.

[GrannieAnnie]

 ;D Ewww-- a difficult one!  I guess an allottment is almost like owniing your own apartment or house and you wouldn't just let anyone move in because they wanted a room.

I'd be straight forward and say, " No because we waited on the waiting list for the land and then did months of work to clear it ourselves and now it feels like we've earned our baby. And we have already made great plans for our baby and how we're going to plant every square inch." Then refer them to the office where they can put their names on a waiting list " if they truly feel interested in getting into gardening and all the work it requires."

This reminds me of listening to grandmothers the other evening talking about how their daughters are assuming grandma will gladly babysit every week for them even though both of the grandmas are already working part time jobs plus babysitting one or two days a week for the daughters.  Relatives can definitely try to take advantage if definite borders aren't established.

[elvis2003]

thanks ladies,i was thinking i would use the rules as a reason,esp as i have stopped other plotholders doing this very thing (its against our rules)
grannie you have hit the nail on the head,the plot very much IS our baby,without going into it,thats how we view it,and it would feel so wrong to share it!

[Emagggie]

I wouldn't want to share either elvis. It is surprising how quickly the extra space is accounted for and used up. It's not nice to be put on the spot like that either. I would also be inclined to say that it's all planned out etc. and why not apply for their own plot?.

[Flighty]

If as you say it's against the rules and that you've stopped other plot holders doing it how can you possibly justify doing it yourself?

[elvis2003]

flighty,because one of them is my sister,and you are allowed to share with immeadiate family

[grawrc]

I'm afraid I'm the blunt sort. I'd tell them that you have waited to get this because you want it for your own use. If they want a plot they should get their names on the waiting list.

[sarah]

I agree. I'm sure they should understand. No harm in them asking you but, for all the reasons you have pointed out, I would say No.  Perhaps the two of them could get together and put their names down for a half plot they could work together. 

[Columbus]

Hi Elvis, Hi all  :)        No.

As has been written, you put your name on the list and cleared the plot.
Now you do the planting and reap the harvest. (sounds like a childrens book).
You share your rewards but its your project and if other people want a plot they too have to get their names on the list as a first step.

Enjoy, Col

[shirlton]

Just tell them that they would be better off with their own plot. Even a half plot. Get them to put their name on the waiting list

[Borlotti]

Tell them to p.ss off, but in a pleasant way.  It is your baby and your private place away from family, unless invited.  The only time I get peace and quiet away from OH, friends, family, grandkids is on the allotment.  I just love it, and spend many hours there without my mobile phone.  I don't feel guilty as I do more than enough baby sitting, cooking etc. and now it is my time.

[pigeonseed]

It seems like we're all in agreement!

Friends have occasionally asked if they could share my plot and I said no, I like to have it all to myself and be selfish. It wouldn't be more complicated and less peaceful if you shared.

It's okay to indulge yourself in what you want occasionally - after all, an allotment is a very harmless way to be selfish.

Enjoy you lucky thing!  ;)

[Emagggie]

When I go away my best pal and her husband look after my plot. He is in charge and has a very different way of gardening to me. I can no more tell him not to do stuff than fly in the air, and for the sake of having stuff watered I say nowt. I agree it would be impossible to share.

[Digeroo]

Is there something that your sister will not share with you?  

I use my allotment to get away from things. If sharing your allotment is not against the rules it definitelhy should be. ;D ;D  There are just some things you cannot share.

[ACE]

Tell them to p.ss off, but in a pleasant way. 

No need to be pleasant about it. Fall out with the scrounging barstewards, that way you will also get out of having to get them and their tribe xmas and birthday presents. More money to spend on tools and seeds.

Go on say I am a miserable sod, but I set this sort of example years ago, so I am lucky I don't fall out over anything as people don't even ask for favours now, and nobody gets uppity.

[lavenderlux]

No - you're not being horrible, you are being sensible in not wanting to share something you've worked on and got to how you want it.  If they genuinely want an allotment encourage them to go on the list for a plot themselves.  If you let them have a piece of your plot, there's a chance they will then want a bit more - and a bit more;  and what if their standards of gardening are below yours, would you then have to weed and water their crops.
This is your own peaceful haven and piece of the countryside, so keep it as 'yours'

[1066]

I would add that we are all biaised!! Ask the same question of someone on a waiting list, and the answer would bound to be different  ;)

But having said that, I think I'd find a way of not sharing  :)  :)

[macmac]

I believe in sharing most things but NOT the allotment .
People often tell us how "lucky"we are to grow our own veg but they don't understand the hard work involved .The OH is laid up with a "gone"back as I type.
We give loads and loads of produce to neighbours ,friends and often almost strangers but share the plot-NEVER  :o
ace  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[Bill Door]

This is another no as well.

The allotment is my "break out" space.  I would no more wish anyone else to be there with me (other than my wife) than i would wish to be sitting on the edge of the bath whilst they had a carp.

I like the company of the other allotments holders and we have a chat but they don't walk on my allotment and i don't walk on theirs unless asked.

However, this is a difficult situation so best of luck.

Bill