How to handle a forum bully.

[cornykev]

I follow certain subjects on here if I think I can help, or if its one that I need answered ,so unlike a lot of people on here I don't get to read all the posts, and up until of late I was unaware of bullying or bad behaviour, but lately I have come across quite a few posts like this. Two lovely ladies on here left the forum because of some rudeness or other bad behaviour, both sent me PM's confirming this, one returned under a different name I hope she doesn't mind me mentioning this  :-* and the other lady pops in from time to time but is sorely missed on a regular basis. The ignore button is one option and if certain people are upsetting you then this should be your option, Sam's right in saying cut the oxygen, I'm a wind up merchant myself but I think I know the line not to cross, have a laugh and a joke and more but there is a line not to cross, and ignoring people is as good a wind up as you can get. Myself and I know a few others on here will not follow that option, I personally like confronting the bully's, being of the short ars variety at school I was a target for bully's and I always confronted them with my big mouth and when you embarrass them in front of everyone and suddenly everyones laughing at them it seemed to change their attitude towards me, but that's my way and not everybodys cup of tea, so lets all be nice to each other and maybe peopleout there won't have thoughts of not posting, anyway I've had my three pennith and bored you enough to I'm off to the lottie.  ;D ;D ;D

[cornykev]

[grawrc]

I always remember when I was a raj teenager with all the answers my father would utterly infuriate me when he would say "yes of course you're quite right." and walk away. End of argument and of course I knew that wasn't what he really thought  but it left me with no argument which as a stroppy teenager (read "troll") was all I was really after.
Still works for me! ;)

[Jeannine]

That made me laugh ,, my Dad used to say(as he walked away)... I think you are very wise!!!



Flossy, I too am sorry I haven't introduced myself, I am going to send you a bigger message soon.

XX Jeannine

[ceres]

Two lovely ladies on here left the forum because of some rudeness or other bad behaviour, both sent me PM's confirming this, one returned under a different name I hope she doesn't mind me mentioning this  :-* and the other lady pops in from time to time but is sorely missed on a regular basis.

Good post cornykev.  I'm not one of the two you mention but I've pretty much given up too for the same reason.  It's such a shame one or two obnoxious individuals spoil the forum for others.

[Fork]

I don't know what anyone else thinks but I reckon this site lacks a moderator or two.Somebody to "pull the plug" on unsavoury posts.They have them on other sites so why not this one?

It would be helpful when someone posts on the wrong forum too,their post could be put on the correct one.

Everyone gets frustrated now and again but its no excuse for some of the "claptrap"(well put Tim by the way)that appears on here from time to time.

People views on certain topics will differ,thats only natural,but to abuse people on a public forum because their views dont match yours is totally wrong.

I enjoy this site and reading so many different ways of growing this and that but lately its becoming a "chore" just to visit!

[Froglegs]

No i think this forum works just fine the way it is who's to say what an unsavoury post or claptrap is? and some of the best posts  started in the wrong forum.Can i make a suggestion, instead of the ignore button can we have a "did ya see ya own arse when ya got up this morning"button. Helps to stop all the quarrelling at Frog Hall...........only a suggestion ::).  ;D

[Admin aka Dan]

Moderator / Admin here!

I try to let the site run itself, when things go wrong I intervene - I am always a Report to moderator click away.

If you have a problem with bullying let me know.  I do know what / who this thread refers to, and have spoken to people behind the scenes, but one thing that always seems to work for people is the Ignore button.

If a member has the ability to annoy you with every post they make, click ignore.

If however a specific attack is made I can and have acted on them.

As a forum with over a million hits a month, I don't think we do to badly!

[Jeannine]

Dan, I agree with you, and you do a wonderful job and I can think of nothing you don't do.

I started this thread as I was interested in the views of others, I am not being bullied myself, I can deal with that if I was, I did want to know other views.

I do have one question though.

How many names can 1 person have on this site  and use at the same time I am confused about that.

Keep up the good work,

XX Jeannine

[flossy]

Hi Jeannine,

Thank you and will look forward to hearing from you.  :) Feel so much better now!  :)


I didn't go to Lottie as it rained and thundered, so - had my sulk at home over a saucepan of home
grown tomato sauce. Must learn how to post photos.

After reading the recent posts on this subject, I am so reasured and comforted knowing that A4A is run with so much care and concern - shall continue to 'pop in ' for a chat and have --  oooooh so many questions !!  :D

Floss xxx

[bennettsleg]

...and if you hit ignore, and the e-bully's post is included in another's reply you still get to read the e-bully's post. A bit like hitting the Ignore button on your awful former neighbours and being kept up to date with all the cruddy behaviour you managed to escape. I've experienced this on other forums, does it happen here, Dan, or is there a way to stop it?

And to think I've just recommended this site to a newby friend of mine and told them that it's all lovely and smelling of roses!  ;D ;D ;D 

Admittedly I've not been around much of late - when we move to a house with a garden I'll be back properly - but have always found it easier to stay sane by not biting at anything I read that I may disagree with (sometimes it's hard to refrain/red rag to bull etc).  Please also bear in mind that a post could be written in innocence but the poster just can't express themselves very well so it comes across badly. We may be having an off moment ourselves and interpret the written word incorrectly and all of a sudden there's a bit of a flaming contest going on.  The written word does not express tone or facial expression and it may pay to sit back and re-read a post - both their and yours - before hitting the Post button.

I trust you are all well and have had bumper crops this year - bet your onions are going to store a treat! Mwahahahaaa  ;D ;D ;D  I've just seen some photos on here of an autumn raspberry harvest and want to go and hide under the duvet in a depressed fug of small patio gardens and estate agents' For Sale signs.  The jerusalem artichokes are doing well in their pot though so there's hope for winter grub!

[Froglegs]

Moderator / Admin here!



As a forum with over a million hits a month, I don't think we do to badly!

I will second that.

[Hyacinth]

Thirded!!

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease no more mods Dan.Please! Please? Reckon we self-police quite nicely don't we? and besides...this weather! bloody stir-crazy a lot us and Idle Hands, when they can't get out on their lotties & blight strikes ......get busy on their keyboards?

Sunshine, that's what we ORL need....changes everything :D

[littlebabybird]

re mods, i have reported something to dan and it was delt with in under an hour, i dont know what help more mods would be.


keep up the good work dan
lbb

[thifasmom]

hi everyone i have left many a forum for this exact reason, and it was one of the reasons i signed on to this forum because it appeared free of this sort of childish nonsense, but i see it has reared its ugly head again, but i really like this forum and want to remain so can you all tell me where is this ignore button, because i am not interested in reading that individuals posts/ replies. thanks in advance and thanks for all the lovely advice given to me in the last month.

[asbean]

The ignore button is on the left hand side under your name, avatar etc.  It's got a red circle with diagonal line across like a stop sign on the road.

I've already got two names on ignore from last year, and am about to put another on. (Think it's all the same person anyway).  That will keep me from responding - unfortunately if anyone gets my back up I tend to snap back at them, much to the embarrassment of my family, so the fewer of us that do that the better.

[thifasmom]

I've already got two names on ignore from last year, and am about to put another on. (Think it's all the same person anyway).  That will keep me from responding - unfortunately if anyone gets my back up I tend to snap back at them, much to the embarrassment of my family, so the fewer of us that do that the better.

yes i know, i have had to bite my tongue (make that finger ;) ) a couple times since it reared its ugly head, but the posts weren't aimed at  me, also i am new to the forum and still learning its dynamics and also i didn't want to make the situation worst. but thanks i will certainly hit that ignore button for peace sake if nothing else.

[Emagggie]

I had thought that there seem to be more 'spats' recently, and they seem to come from what start as innocent threads.It's annoying for the person who starts the thread, and that other people need to spoil things for their entertainment. On the two occasions I've felt slighted I chose to ignore the poster and carried on as if they hadn't posted at all, although I know if I'd been face to face I would have let the acid drop.
Largely I think the moderating here is handled just fine, and long may it continue.  :)

[theothermarg]

My method is to answer the first post totally ignoring the bully then send the person being bullied a supportive PM
I have also seen such posts flattened with the use of humour
I,v never used the ignore button, I feel I,m up to doing my own ignoring!
If I see a question asked and nobody answering it I usually have a go but I do know how flossy feels,I have also been "got at" by someone in the past but I,m still here and he isn,t (as far as I know)
marg