Disaster - lost my lottie

[emmy1978]

After a few days of wondering what to do, I thought that i should let you all know. I got my lottie as the old fella who had the other half of my dads plot lost it due to not doing any work on it etc. My dad offered it to me and I against all my better judgement accepted it.
My dad has been an alcoholic for many years, violent at times and maudlin and depressed at others. This is a situation I and my sisters have learnt to deal with and forgive him many things because of it. He has finally pushed me too far, threatening me and my OH and generally being an insane abusive b**tard. It's all too personal and complicated to go into really, don't want to bore you with details, but suffice to say I have had to cut all ties and with that comes not sharing a plot with him.
I have been in touch with the lottie association, trying to explain the situation. I'm waiting to hear back from them.
I'm hoping that at the very least I can go back on the list as priority if there are no available plots as I have shown my commitment over the last 4 months, the plot is unrecognisable compared to what it was. With a 2 year waiting list and my worry that it all sounds a bit like "I've fallen out with my dad and I want a different plot" I'm not sure what's going to happen.
The problem is, as with most alcoholics my dad is utterly charming when he wants to be, especially to people like the committee. It's me and my sisters that take the fallout, and now, my children and partner.
So, thankyou all for your advice over the last few months. It has been invaluable, and loads of fun trying out all these new ideas.
Hopefully my next post will be a more positive one, but as for now I am devastated, having digging withdrawal and looking at everything in my mini greenhouse with a despairing eye.
I'm off to Asda for some of Alishkas black buckets!  :'( :'( :'(

[emmy1978]

[Marymary]

Oh Emmy that's horrid.  It must be dreadful growing up with all that & you really don't have to put up with it now you are old enough to take some control so well done for sacrificing the lottie, I am sure it was the right decision.  I hope you have good news from the allotment committee but until then any chance of digging up the garden?  It's what I have done & I've been amazed at just how much I can grow in a small space.  Black buckets certainly help - I've got nearly 100 & they will all be in use later this year.  Good luck & keep in touch - no need to disappear just cos you are temporarily lottieless.  :)

[Garjan]

You must be devastated! Cutting all ties with your father and losing the lotty to go to and work away the stress and sadness.
Although the buckets are fine temporarily, I hope you will get a new plot soon.

[Froglegs]

I hope this committee see's sense and all ends well for ya Emmy. :)

[tim]

Only glad that you've had a place to let off steam.

So many people have so many problems that we don't know about.

[tuinman]

everything happens for a reason. It'll come good.

[cambourne7]

Emmy,

I am sending you a big cyber hug.

You cant live your life for others especialy if they dont want to be helped.

You are doing the right thing for you and he will never admit but your doing the right thing for him.

Allotments are not for a couple of years but for life so just look at this as a temp interuption.

Cam

[wilko]

 :-* My heart goes out to you, and my thoughts are with you, but they say everything in life happens for a reason !! may be you'll be offered an even better plot eh! I hope it all works out ok for you  ;)

[emmy1978]

Thank you so much, all of you. I feel better for finally making the break, he has made me very unhappy for a long time. Without wanting to sound cold hearted, the loss of the lottie is by far the biggest of the two. I do see it as a temporary interruption, am trying to be very buddhist about the whole thing, but am missing it already.
Going down to rescue my plants tonight, what can be potted up will be and am considering gently removing some of the strawbs that my 7 year old spent a day digging out of the couch grass. All the fruit trees I planted I don't know what to do with as they are well into their grow and don't want to kill them, would rather leave them alive and happy.
Also going to harvest all available rhubarb and eat crumble and custard. And if that doesn't cheer me up I'm done for!  ;)

[honeybee]

Just wanted to send you my good wishes.

You must have been so devestated but taking control of your situation will probably be the best decision youve ever made  :-*

Ive not got a lottie and just use my back garden and its really good fun seeing what you can grow in a bit pot  ;D

Good luck and look after yourself xx

[Heldi]

Aw Emmy I'm absolutely gutted for you  :(  :(

The swine!!!!  >:(  >:(    (Sorry)

You go get everything you can rescue babe...ready for your next plot..which will be much much MUCH better and everything  ;D  ;D You are moving onwards and upwards girl!

Helen x

[ellkebe]

Emmy, I really hope that you've got a sensible committee who can see when they've got a responsible lottie holder and make you a top priority for a new plot - and when you've got it, it'll be so much more relaxing and rewarding for being just yours.

[manicscousers]

oh, emmy, I'm so sorry, I, too had an abusive father, mental abuse, I had to ignore him for 8 years..not alcoholic, he knew he was doing it..
I really, really hope you get a plot soon, move all your bushes and stuff into buckets, we even moved blueberries, raspberrries and blackcurrants when the club took our plot..they've all settled down really well into their new homes, big hugs from us  :)

[Esre]

Really sorry to hear about both of your troubles :(

Cyber hugs and well wishes.

[Trixiebelle]

Oh dear  :-[ Sorry to hear this Emmy. Hope you get a plot soon X

[lorna]

Emmy others have said it al. Just like to add my best wishes that you will soon get another allotment. Such a shame after all the hard work you have done. Do keep in touch. Plenty of us on A4A who only have a garden but find plenty to enjoy on the site. Good luck.
Lorna

[Wicker]

What a trial for you, Emmy - glad you have a supportive OH. Abuse of alcohol causes so much misery and damage, hard to believe it was tolerated and almost "acceptable" for so many years.

You have proved that you will make a good lottie holder and no matter if it takes a while don't lose sight of that - your lottie will come :-*

[emmy1978]

Thanks again to you all. I live in little flat while we save like squirrels for own house, so garden slightly non existant. Have got small grassy space round the side that could possibly fill with plants and veg in pots. Landlord bit of a git though. I was looking today at the rubbish border they have tried to create and thought Hmmm, raised bed, bung some veg in it, see what happens, fill it with nice ornamentals when i go so he doesn't stiff me for the deposit. So, my thinking cap is on and I am inspired by all your lovely remarks. Thanks again, Em x

[greenscrump]

so sorry to hear your news Emmy - but I (like others) believe that it will all work out for you in the end  xx

[Jeannine]

Hi Emmy, me too sweetie, big hugs.

On a practical note, the trees should move, I have moved lots at the wrong time,you may not get a harvest but you won't lose the trees. Pack em into great big pots straight away,try boarding them with pals for a while, or the plot at the side.

If you are driveable distance to me fetch them  here,I will babysit for you. I bet there are others who would offer too.

Salvage what you can, let the lottie go if you have to and move on. Another will pop up.

Good Luck with the committee,I truly hope they find something for you. There are a lot of people sending similar messages of support to you.

Sadly we don't choose our family, thank goodness we can choose our friends and our plants.

XXXX With love  Jeannine XXXX