Are we better off nowadays

[RSJK]

Just said to my wife that we have to make 4 more payments before June to pay for are second holiday abroad in our lifetime. Not bad I thought but the thing is we are now both in are fifties and this is only are second holiday out of this country, to do it my wife as had to go into full time work to help pay for it, yet I see people up the road from us going abroad every year who do not work, where have I gone wrong, do not get me wrong I do not begrudge them a Holiday but we are so often told that we are far better off these days. Well I came from a family of eight and my mother never had to go out to work to help pay for things, we always had good meals on the table three times a day, and was always clothed well and my Father was only on a farm workers wage. So why does it now take both partners to work just to try to get a good style of living. I have worked hard all my working life not, on good wages I know but have lived within my means but, I feel as though I have done something wrong some where not to be able to get further forward in my life to what I am, they say save for the future but I do not seem to have enough money to live from one week unto another. What as gone wrong ?

[RSJK]

[ACE]

We have got to be better off. I was nearly the same as you. I come from a family of 5, mother stayed at home to cook and clean, dinner always on the table, clothes on my back.

I left home at 14 to join the navy, so was still clothed and fed. When I came back to civvy street I made a decision to buy instead of rent and worked really hard to bring up my own children, but even working hard still meant a provvy cheque at xmas.

Life began at 45, morgage paid, 2 cars and a harley in the garage, 2 or 3 holidays a year,  little fishing boat, my own little business, I can't spend it fast enough. But I work harder than ever.
Yes I am better off, I love my job and my missus works in a job she loves. We work hard and play hard.

You've never had it so good,so go out and enjoy it.

[wahaj]

bless ya richard, i understand how you feel. my parteners parents are on holidays every few months....and yet his mum works full time, but his dad isn't able to work due to disabilities.

if you know where to look, you can find some very cheap holidays. perhaps the people you see on holidays every few months are going on these cheap holidays.

like you can get return tickets to spain for about £80 at some places. there are some people that even do tickets for as low as £20 or less for spain....as long as you don't mind flying round the whole world before finally getting to spain lol.

a friend of mine is a student and doesn't have any income, yet she still manages to have holidays every few months. she does this by researching loads and loads on the internet. she plans her own days, stays in hostels (she's 46 i think), and does everything she wants to within a couple of hundred pounds.

package holidays and time share is a HUGE rip off. unless you have huge families and plan to go on long luxurious holidays, there's no need for package holidays.

and i'm 21 and in the same boat as you that i never have enough mney to make it from one month to another. but you just need to learn to budget. i know it sounds patronising.....but it's really as easy as that.

for example....my partener and i used to live on our own once and didn't have a kitchen. we ordered food out every day, even things that appeared to be cheap like the chippy. once we moved to my dads place where there's a kitchen, we started to cook in....and it's surprising how much less money we were spending.

if there's a will, there's a way. surround yourself with the right people and the right thoughts and there's nothing you can't do.

[manicscousers]

my mum didn't go out to work for a long time, BUT, she had no washing machine, we had a black and white second hand tv, rag mats on the floor, no car as they both smoked, no holidays,
I was 15 before my dad gave up smoking and bought a little car,
we have so many 'things ' now that need insurance, upkeep, e.g. dvd's, freezers, central heating, double glazing, I don't think it was all that good in 'the good old days', we used to have ice to the top of the windows and had to get dressed in front of the open fire..
I bet my mum would have liked central heating.. :)
so now, I count my blessings,family, friends,  food, warmth and the things we have are just that, things  :) :)
getting off my soap box now, sorry for the rant  :)

[wahaj]

i do understand what you mean aswell manicsc. it really does depend on the times really doesn't it. i mean we're always better off than somebody else....but that doesn't change the situation we're in. the average person now goes on a lot of holidays, there's a lot more disposable income around and people generally spend a lot more on luxury items.

[Hyacinth]

There's a lot more debt too to finance the lifestyle.

I think the key to Richard's post  is that he says he lives within his means.

[theothermarg]

well, i suppose my life has been a stuggle  my dh dosn,t work becouse of sickness
i work 30hrs a week as a cleaner,i,m 60 this year but shall carry on working because
i enjoy the things i can afford , not alot up to other people but much more than my
parents and my good health gives me that choice. my mum and dad were old and worn out at my age!! even if dh has prolems modern life gives him much better support
then say40years ago

[Yellow Petals]

I've wondered many a time how people can afford the things they have.  Even when our son was at school and my husband and I worked we still couldn't afford a holiday that a) wasn't out of season and b) wasn't in the UK. 

I can't for the life of me work out how the families around here with three or more kids that are clearly on benefits manage their trips abroad and their cars etc.  Actually I can work it out and if I had the bottled I'd ring the "be a DSS grass" hotline!

[RSJK]

Alishka you have hit the nail on the head  I do live within my needs and I also echo YPs comments

[Hyacinth]

Off the top of my head I know 5 youngish peeps who are claiming DLA - a ticket for life, that is. One actually had a party when his came through....and then I know 2 peeps, elderly, crippled with arthritis who have to go up & down their stairs on their bottoms, get refused (routinely I think) at the first application and won't be persuaded to appeal the decision (when invariably the 1st refusal will get overturned). >:(

[lorna]

Better off now? I am 8th one of nine children. Routine every Sunday the last two girls at home had to take it in turn to wash all upstairs floors (lino) one week and downstairs rooms the next week. How I hated those bl**dy horrible coconut mats ::).Dad wasn't able to work very often due to falling in to a bomb crater about 1941 so Mum went to work (Crosse & Blackwells) so money was tight. So although I worked in our businesses most of my married life it was my choice and not a real necessity. I consider that husband and me and later our children have been better off than my parents. One good thing about those days was making our own entertainment. Holidays? We always went to Margate for a day each year and one day to London museums.

[plimsoll plot2]

I have been thinking the same thing latey, i work full time single person, and still find it hard, i have to save to take one holiday a year and thats to see my sister, i know people claiming everything they can , and have more then me going in the bank each month, i was brave enough to grass but did any thing happen about it NO.

A lot of my friends seem to have everything holidays at a drop of the hat, nice car house has all the lastest stuff, but then take a closer look and there in DEBIT up to ther eyes.

so i may not have everything but i have everything if you now what i mean.

family , a job, life, and people i love.

and no DEBIT

[RSJK]

I think with a bit of thought I should have chosen a better heading for my gripe, I know that I am better of then how my parents used to live but, like plimsoll just find it hard to save anything out of my weekly wage once the bills are paid.

[greyhound]

Just take a look around the average house and see how many items there are that simply did not exist 40 years ago.  We regard most of these things as essentials rather than luxuries.  All these things cost money to use or maintain.  And cars - back then, by no means every household had a car at all, yet now there is usually one per adult with all their associated costs.

[wahaj]

I have been thinking the same thing latey, i work full time single person, and still find it hard, i have to save to take one holiday a year and thats to see my sister, i know people claiming everything they can , and have more then me going in the bank each month, i was brave enough to grass but did any thing happen about it NO.

A lot of my friends seem to have everything holidays at a drop of the hat, nice car house has all the lastest stuff, but then take a closer look and there in DEBIT up to ther eyes.

so i may not have everything but i have everything if you now what i mean.

family , a job, life, and people i love.

and no DEBIT

hmm....i guess in that sense you have to be careful really. if you don't know exactly what's going on, you can't really judge people because they SEEM to be more wealthy that you. if they're on benefits, there must be a reason. i've applied for different types of benefits twice and i know the questions they aks, they checks they do, the people they talk to before the give you money. and even then they keep on reviewing your situation.

i know it seems like there are a lot of people on benefits when they shouldn't be....but you shouldn't always judge a book by it's cover in that sense.

[Yellow Petals]

hmm....i guess in that sense you have to be careful really. if you don't know exactly what's going on, you can't really judge people because they SEEM to be more wealthy that you. if they're on benefits, there must be a reason. i've applied for different types of benefits twice and i know the questions they aks, they checks they do, the people they talk to before the give you money. and even then they keep on reviewing your situation.

i know it seems like there are a lot of people on benefits when they shouldn't be....but you shouldn't always judge a book by it's cover in that sense.

On the contrary, Waj.  I've got no problem with peeps on benefits.  I myself claimed maternity benefits back when I had my son.  What I do have a problem with is people who are quite capable of working that a) claim the dole because they're too lazy to get off their a*ses and work and b) claim benefit but also do cash in hand jobs which leaves them pretty much rolling in it and I do begrudge those people that money and those luxuries because it's coming out of the pockets of mugs like me who are paying for it. 

<jumping off soapbox and exhaling>  ;D

[manicscousers]

please don't carry on with this , there are lots of people out there, like my mum and dad in law 87, both, who feel BL**dy awful about asking for anything, we've only just persuaded them to claim benefits and they now feel like they cannot tell anyone because they will be seen as leeches, god help them, :( :)

[Yellow Petals]

Tsk.  To clarify, I was not talking about people who need, have or deserve to claim but people who don't need to claim and abuse the system which of course does NOT include your mum and dad, Scousers  :-\  I assumed my post was clear but apologise for any confusion.

And ok, will say no more. 

[bennettsleg]

In terms of time saving appliances - yes. If any of you had a choice between spending time relaxing/gardening/socialising/other or doing the laundry by hand (as did my mum, and I'm only 32) then I can probably guess which option the majority of people opt for.

in terms of having spare cash, holidays, new cars every year etc - no.  But then you could say that's because one half of us is self employed in a new business and we chose this lifestyle.

We're careful with our money; didn't take the biggest morgage allwance we were offered; don't use the credit card for everyday things; we have 10 year old cars (that's two of them); don't buy first editions or visit michelin starred restaurants like we used to and it hasn't done us any harm. Infact, it's made us appreciate and enjoy those moments more because we have to save for them.

There are several keys to this: live within your means, develop self worth so that material objects are not necessary to define who you are, if aid is there for your needs, ask for it and fight for it.

And grass up those that bleed the system; many moons ago, I did exactly that. We shouldn't have to work hard and pay increasing stealth taxes so some can take advantage. Close the net, they're living by the sword so let them die by it, too.

[kt.]

Both my wife and I work full time. We have had 1 holiday other than our honeymoon in 10years. Kids came along and childcare is not cheap. We pay £100per week for our son Mon-Fri. My wife drops him off at nursery so childminder only has him from 1130-1700hrs! £5000pa from household income - thats where my good living is going - the childminders holiday!

There always seems to be more month left at the end of the money..... ::)