Author Topic: General Chitter Chatter & His Sidekick Captain Claptrap! (Read 66703 times)

Trixiebelle · « **Reply #520 on:** April 21, 2009, 15:10:26 »

He truly is 1066 ;D

Unfortunately he's trapped a nerve in his back so he's round at my allotment ALL DAY lately! He was sat on a chair in the middle of my lawn today and said he couldn't get up - I had to strim round him :D

And there he stayed for most of the day in one of his 'I do everything 100% right and you do everything 100% wrong' moods ::)

When I showed him my full tray of Yin Yang beans that have come up beautifully he was MOST displeased - the ones I gave him to grow haven't come up ::) Allegedly I've 'knobbled' them to make him look like an amateur. We have this conversation every year at least 3 times a year. Last time it was Atlantic Giant pumpkins.

What a fab day it's been today! And going to get hotter tomorrow apparently. No doubt there'll be a blizzard at the weekend!

manicscousers · « **Reply #521 on:** April 21, 2009, 15:38:13 »

just as well he's a mate, trixie, otherwise he could end up in the compost heap ;D
took the grandchildren to the plot yesterday, wore myself out trying to keep up with Matthew, a couple more months and I won't be able to catch him..Callum helped Ray water everywhere and move plants around, big push to get all the site clean and safe for the punters..went to the park with the kids after lunch and finally collapsed at 4pm.
this plant sale's just getting bigger, got to put me best wellies on tomorra, the press is coming ;D

Trixiebelle · « **Reply #522 on:** April 21, 2009, 16:26:15 »

There's not enough meat on him to put on the heap Manics ;D

Will 'HELLO' Magazine be there?! Just be sure to charge them a quarter of a million to focus on your petunias ;D

1066 · « **Reply #523 on:** April 21, 2009, 16:54:29 »

Quote from: Trixiebelle on April 21, 2009, 15:10:26

He was sat on a chair in the middle of my lawn today and said he couldn't get up - I had to strim round him :D

bit like hovering around everyones feet then?! ::)

Trixiebelle · « **Reply #524 on:** April 21, 2009, 17:13:43 »

1066: With the added bonus of 'fear' in case his socks got shredded! Despite the trapped nerve he managed to lift both legs off the ground about 3ft!

grawrc · « **Reply #525 on:** October 24, 2009, 21:01:36 »

Bumping this up again to remind us of how much fun we used to have in this thread and to invite further contributions! ;D ;D

manicscousers · « **Reply #526 on:** October 24, 2009, 22:00:43 »

oh, briliant, Anne, always had a laugh at this thread ;D

Jeannine · « **Reply #527 on:** October 25, 2009, 14:20:47 »

Oh goodie, so come on folks tell us your tales.

I had a laugh last week, I met a fella in our elevator who couldn't speak a word of English. I got out at the ground floor and went into the laundry room..he followed me..chattering away.. he kept pointing to the washing machine, then what looked like his private parts, then he points at my underwear going into the machines at this point I was getting a bit concerned and was very pleased when he left... he came back with his laundry and a bag!!

My undies were thankfully swimming under the water by now so he couldn't get at them but he reached in his pile and starting to shake his at me!! Now I ask you what would you have done..he was buy the way very good looking in a dark fortyish way with gleaming white teeth and a smile to die for.

I tried to be polite.. but what did he want, surely he was not expecting me to do his washing. He showed me about 4 or five pars of his underwear.. nice cotton boxers by the way.. I was getting to know him quite well by now but he was getting a bit frustrated ,in the impatient sense by the way. I shook my head, shrugged my shoulders and kept repeating no. I felt if I was "done" on the floor midst all the machines I could truthfully say I had said no.

Suddenly he closed all the empty machine lids, oh eck I thought. Then he dug down in his laundry and pulled out all his shorts, laying about 8 pairs carefully on the top of the machines , he gestured me to take a closer look, I smiled and commented on the designs, this was not the right answer. He then started muttering under his breath and touching his forehead with a faint slap of his hand.

Then he opened the bag marked Walmart.and took out the same number of boxers, he carefully laid one pair over each of the others and again invited me to look.. the only thing I noticed was they were smaller and I commented this by a hand gesture. I hit the jackpot, he took my hands and shook them, then gestured a surprised " why" look and showed me the labels.. they were the same size..ah I think I have it. I took the new pair, held it up and gestured putting it in the machine, I then repeated the same by taking out the smaller pair.. Bingo.. it turned out my handsome gentleman had no designs on my geriatric bod he wanted to know why his shorts had shrunk, I showed him how to turn the water to a cooler temp, he again shook both my hands bowed and left. I promise there was no after glow!!

Yesterday while riding the elevator with John he again got on, he smiled, took my hands, kissed one and promptly pulled down his wairband pointed to his crotch and gave me a big enthusiastic thumbs up.. then got off at the next floor. John's face and stunned silence was unreal....

I shall tell him today...or not.

XX Jeannine

star · « **Reply #528 on:** October 25, 2009, 20:24:25 »

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Jeanine......absolutely priceless!!!!

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

angle shades · « **Reply #529 on:** October 25, 2009, 21:25:57 »

Brilliant Jeannine ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D/ shades x

asbean · « **Reply #530 on:** October 25, 2009, 22:11:43 »

Wonderful - I can just picture him!!!

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

1066 · « **Reply #531 on:** October 26, 2009, 08:05:43 »

it kind of reminds me of the advert for levi jeans and the guy in the laundrette ;D (not the bit of your story in the lift tho !!!)

1066

shirlton · « **Reply #532 on:** October 26, 2009, 08:47:00 »

Talk about getting the wrong end of the stick. Which reminds me of a holiday we had in Gran Canaria.Tone and I were invited to a night club by these two lovely gay fellows. Hivered and hovered about it, anyway we went. Great music and great bodies.One of the chaps that took us came up and asked if I was ok. "I said yeah but that bloke in the striped jumper keeps coming up and asking me if I would like a drink" hesaid " yeah he would love. he's the bloody barman". Well !!!!!

Jeannine · « **Reply #533 on:** October 27, 2009, 07:26:47 »

Shirlton, I am laughing so loud, I have had a lousy day so you have put it all right just before I go to bed..Thank you XX Jeannine

cornykev · « **Reply #534 on:** October 28, 2009, 20:22:12 »

Shirl I can just see you and Tone going out with these gay guys, it sounds like a scene out of Benidorm. ;D ;D ;D

shirlton · « **Reply #535 on:** October 29, 2009, 08:23:38 »

Believe me it was Kev. When we left a guy came running after us with a rose that I had left behind that I had got at a previos visit to a restaurant. I must say that it was one one the best nights out I have ever had. Some great dancers

theothermarg · « **Reply #536 on:** October 31, 2009, 22:06:45 »

Don't know if anybody remembers when my Wildchild ( my youngest boy 27) went to California to marry his long distance girlfriend in a goth wedding LV well they are going on tour in europe and will be staying with us for a week inbetween gigs so we get to meet our D I L at last! wonder who is more nervous her or me
marg

manicscousers · « **Reply #537 on:** October 31, 2009, 22:26:05 »

I remember, marg..lovely thing to look forward to ;D

Emagggie · « **Reply #538 on:** November 01, 2009, 09:02:22 »

So do I Marg. Bet you're excited though. ;)

1066 · « **Reply #539 on:** November 03, 2009, 13:03:55 »

Does anyone else ping the washing line after it's rained - or is it just me what is sad?! It always raises a smile for me and if the cat is in the garden it doesn't half scare the bejesus out of him :D

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Author Topic: General Chitter Chatter & His Sidekick Captain Claptrap! (Read 66703 times)