Allotments 4 All

many of you know my husband John has Alzheimers and  it is difficult to plan anything the way I used to. Many of you also know I have gardened on a wonderful community garden for several years. This year to John's rapid deterioration I have hardly got out to the gardens, we got stuff planted but rarely tended. I paid someone to weed for me,which didn't really happen .

Yesterday everything lined up and we  managed to get there. Oh what a sorry sight.

I thought I had already decided that this was to be my last year and seemed to accept that but yesterday when we started to dig the late spuds, the beetroot, collect the squash and the precious beans that we had let go to seed and thanks to my daughter we managed to leave with a lot of mt raised bed plot all neat and tidy.. and that got me all wistful

John  is due to start daycare shortly, so I could go to the gardens on my own, but could I in reality do it.

The garden is all raised beds, not much perennial weeds, there is someone on site who could dig over for me if I need it and the executive are not pressing me to give up, in fact they have been very supportive and are encouraging me not to do anything hastily.

Am I being unfair to hang.. there is a waiting list of course... but when John has good days, it is lovely to go there with a packed lunch and watch the beds( our gardens are ion a nature park)

Yesterday, when I had a good day physically, John was settled and my daughter was there it was a lovely day and digging in the muck seemed beautiful... but then here comes that guilt again.

I could cover the beds so no early spring weeds take hold, I could plant crops that don't need so much attention,sticj to squash, roots,and avoid things like spinach and lettuce that go to seed quickly..maybe I could manage it...but her again comes that guilt.

Our plots have always been very neat in the past, maybe I could do it with a bit of outside help but what if...

So should I, shouldn't I...

I hate this getting blooming old thing, I didn't;t subscribe to it anyway.

XX Jeannine

Sounds like you are quite not ready to 'retire' yet..why not give another year..like a trial of how you will cope. And if you don't...well...then you know it is time. At least you have give it a go and there is no 'IF I only..' afterwards.

Is there no one who would be prepared to share with you? Seems a shame for you to give up what your passionate about and enjoy. I am becoming more and more less able bodied myself due to arthritis, but I have made the decision to cover what I'm not able to do. Next year Im going to try the no dig practice and see how that goes. Don't rush to make the decision. Hope your husband carries on have more good days. Ann

I do not do guilt.  I do the best I can and if that is not good enough so be it.  You have enough problems, ditch the guilt.  If you enjoy the plot and the management are not pressing you to give up that should be enough.

Maybe you need somewhere to get away from it all for a bit of me-time.  Do you meet other people at the community garden?  It is important not to get cut off.   Do what you want.  Think of yourself and what you would like.  Do not feel pressure.   

With a bit of thought and planning and a lot of mulching you could make it easy to manage.  Maybe you will have to lower your expectations and not expect your plot to be quite as perfect as you would like.

On the other hand maybe you will have to be realistic and enjoy your lovely new greenhouse. 

I am starting to get into no dig too.   The plants do not seem to mind being thrown into a hole.  Apart from the odd rabbit, nature does not expect a nicely dug bed.

Whatever you decide make sure it is what you want to do, no guilt, no pressure, no regrets.

I am not an expert. But I know somebody who is. She reckons that if you have been taking John to the allotments you should keep it up. It might not show but if things should not go missing out of his life. But from a gardeners point of view, if the executive are aware and are being easy on you carry on, just grow easy low maintenance stuff.

Yes Jeannine I agree with Ace. I think that if you can find ways to cut down the work (mulch, mulch, mulch! ) and get a little help from willing friends with the hard digging, then you should continue. Grow easy to maintain things like spuds, onions, and your beloved squash. If you grow on black plastic, you can still grow tomatoes and peppers, they need little maintenance once in the ground and staked up. It will be good for John to have a place to have a little outing and if it is familiar to him, he will get pleasure from it. Alzehimer's is so stressful for the person and the carer, that it would be good to have a "safe" place like that to go to.
Perhaps give it another year and you will see if, with some different methods, you can cope. Let your expectations down a little. The garden may be messier but it may still be productive.
As I am in a stressful personal situation right now, I appreciate my garden and I know that later on in the year it will be a sanctuary for me, and I will also need the veg I grow as I am going to be pretty skint for a while! But for now I am flat out so I am just harvesting and tidying, even though it is a bit messy, and I know that over winter I will have chances to tidy it up well, manure etc and that in spring, I will be so pleased to have it.

You lot are a great bunch you know,and it is super to hear the ideas and support. I am going to do it. I have thought about many of the things that have been suggested and am going to have a go.

Willsy there may be someone who would share but that has never reallt appealled to me and my plots are not very big compared to the UK ones.

Oh Didge, you should be running the world, you are absolutely right as ever and guilt is a useless thing so I will try to ditch that. I meet lots of friends at the garden and involve with the running although what I do is very gentle on me as I now look after seed sales so yes I would miss the me time, Goodlife was right about the  IF ONLY too. as in my heart I am not ready to retire.

Ace you too are right and good boy, you said it so nicely !! Your posts usually make me laugh even when you are being serious I expect that last minute comment that makes me giggle, I always see you as Harry Secombe actually.

Antipodes sadly we are not allowed ti use black plastic but I can use weed block fabric and I had bought a full roll to use anyway so that will be done. I guess in some ways we are both in a similar place so I can understand very much what you are saying. you hand on in there, I can telll from the way you write you are a good person and there will be good things down the road waiting for you.

Thank you all again, I am going to spend a quiet afternoon looking at last years seed catalogues. XX Jeannine

Hi Jeannine,

So glad you are going for it. I was faced with a similar dilemma in February if this year when I found out I had breast cancer.  I survived the chemo, thankfully, the mastectomy, thankfully, but still kept on the plots, albeit a little neglected to say the least this year.

I could have let them go only to see them taken up and then neglected for the rest of the year, that would have broken my heart.

There is something in our make up that will never ever let us forget we are passionate growers and with that.........may I introduce Jack Hawkins.



A beefsteak tomato that I've saved the seeds from tonight, so here's to next year 

Ninnyscrops xxx

HI Ninny, so glad to hear you are over all that awful cancer stuff and weel done for hanging on to the plot.

I have told them tonight I am keeping them and planning on and overwinter green manure or covering them for thr winter,

I have never heard of A Jack Hawkins but again wee=ll done to yuy

XX Jeannine

Quote from: Jeannine on September 19, 2013, 19:02:00



I always see you as Harry Secombe actually.

There was me trying to be nice and I still get insulted by being called a Taffy  . I know he can sing, he can joke, looked like he could eat too, he was even knighted, but welsh! dear oh dear. 

Ah Ace ,but I see the world without borders so to me he was a great guy..just like you XX Jennine

Seems me time has just made it into the Oxford Dictionary as of August 2013

'Time spent relaxing on one's own as opposed to working or doing things for others, seen as an opportunity to reduce stress or restore energy:[/quote]

I cannot organise myself I certainly do not wish to take on the world.   

John would no doubt enjoy still going to the allotment with you and on the days when he is at the Day Centre, you can enjoy the break either at the allotment, in the greenhouse or doing things that you want to do.  I agree with what everyone else has said on here, Jeannine.  Don't give up your allotment yet, just see how it goes in the next twelve months.