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Anyone got any hints or tips? I have sowed some in the GH, they are determined to be a no show!

Well..I sowed mine into multipurpose and vermiculate mix..quite 'open' mixture. They germinated in house, with no extra heat in a about week or two.
How long ago did you started them off? Its been quite cool..particularly during night so if they've been unheated GH it could be they are sulking until they get bit more even temperature between day and night.

I had germination of two of 12 seeds sown... but then I only needed two plants so I'm unfussed by low germination (had very variable adn sometimes spectacularly bad germination this year).. they were in a temp-regulated prop in greenhouse... will go out soon...

They do take a while to show, and don't always germinate, but don't keep them too hot either. They are a cool climate crop after all, as they grow better here in Britanny where it is mild.
Actually the best way to get them is to divide a plant, like rhubarb. Plant out your babies in late August and you might get an artichoke next year but most likely the year after that.

Yes divided plants if you can get some are best, but as you are if not.