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i have 2 sweet pepper plants, both about 1ft tall with plenty of buds on each.  one of the buds flowered 4 days ago and when i checked on it a little while ago the flower petal has changed from a nice off white colour to being wilted and tinged with a tan/brown colour.  is this normal?

Yes, you may not have noticed tomatoes do the same. Hopefully, over the next week or so you'll notice the tiniest of peppers in their place.

its just the flower dieing and falling off, under it will be a nice small pepper

the chillis i grew last yr did this, some flowers didnt produce peppers but many others did, i think its quite normal?