Allotments 4 All

This didn't happen to me but I became involved as you will see.

It was in the sixties.

In a ladies public loo in a shop  one day my friend and I heard a commotion coming from a cubicle, puffing and panting and groaning, with things hittng the door,it sounded as though there were 2 people in there and they were not having a wee wee.

Of course we hung around and listened.

Eventually the noise stopped,silence for a moment then crying,then sobbing, then really crying.

At this point we knocked on the door and shouted "are you Ok"

A lady said I am stuck,

To cut part of the story down, she was stuck in a way that she couldn't reach the door that was locked.

We got help, which was the department store caretaker,he tried to get under the door but the lady was in the way,really crying for help now,they couldn't open it from the outside as she was right behind it somehow but could not reach the lock,so a decision was made  break the door which they did.At this point she was hysterical.

The door was lifted away in pieces and the lady lifted outed by the caretaaker and another man!!!

The problem was this...............

She had on a pull on rubber pantie girdle,corset here I think, does anyone remember these, they really were made of rubber, not cotton covered elastic, but real rubber with  little holes all over .I had one and you had to put talc on your body as they were a devil to get on(no zips or fasteners). Hers was a high rise one with long legs . Anyway she had managed to pull it down to her knees and it had tightened on her sweaty skin, so she couldn't pull it up and it was tightening round her, the more she pulled the hotter she got, and in the end she fell over and was helpless,her hands were furthest from the lock and her locked legs and body were against the door.

I don't think I have ever seen anyone so embarrassed as that rather portly lady, the men left and two ladies came in to help, they literally had to cut it off, and through all this her trousers  were still down and her sizeable bum rather prominent.

My friend and I didn't laugh of course as it was tragic, well not till we got in the car!!!!

I might add I never wore mine again!!

XX Jeannine

Oh my! the poor soul! the tears are rolling down my cheeks from laughing. So funny Jeannine but how awful for the poor woman.

This happened to me when I'd got all the kids little. I was going shopping with the pram and one perched on the seat when I happened to look down at my feet, I had one brown shoe and one black. That busy that I hadn't even noticed. Another time when I worked at the local supermarket I used to put my overall on over an underskirt. At the end of the shift I put my skirt on and it was only when I had passed the senior school on my way home that I noticed that my underskirt was outside of my skirt. I don't suppose if I did it today anyone would bat an eyelid

When I was a teenager, I was stood waiting for the bus to take me to work. A woman came walking along the road with a large dog on a lead. As she walked past, the dog cocked it's leg up and weed all down my leg.  the woman just seemed to pause with the dog as though I was a lampost and just walked off without a word. I was mortified. My tights were dark tan and the wet was so obvious. I got on the bus and it looked as though I had wety myself. I dashed to work right through town with my wet leg and red face and had to get a thotough wash. I've gone red just writing this. ;D

I remember an evening down the pub one summer many years ago. I got trapped in a corner of the beer garden with a very nice young man who was telling me everything I'd ever need to know about something â€" can't remember what, sheep farming in New Zealand rings a vague bell. I finally managed to escape to the bar, and when I came back everyone had moved to a free table so I headed over to it and joined them. I sat down at the end of the table opposite S who had brought the friend who'd cornered me and asked him where his boring friend had gone. complete silence as S replied "he's sitting at the other end of the table"... I hadn't noticed him at all and was absolutely mortified, and not nearly drunk enough to joke my way out of it :-[ :-[ :-[ it took a very long time to live that one down!

 ;D ;D ;D ;D All of you! So funny. Norfolklass - that is exactly the sort of thing i do all the time. :-[ ::)

I once got on a bus,paid my busfare and kind've ran quickly to get to the stairs to go up, only I didn't see the step,tripped over went flying forward as the bus moved off,landed on an old man with a broken leg with my face right in his..erm... lap !   :-[ :-[ :o :-[

I hesitate to post this as I still wince when I think about it....

In 1984 I visited Poland with a fellow student, staying with friends. It was our first visit, we had a great time, but we were slightly surprised to be mistaken for being either German or American by the locals, very few of whom spoke any English at all and could not place our accents.

After three weeks there we went on a train journey to the mountains, and settled ourselves in an empty 6 seated carriage car. We sat next to each other, and during the journey a woman in her twenties came in and sat down opposite us, and started to read. We said hello, she nodded politely and showed no sign of understanding a word we said.

My friend and I carried on chatting, and then started to notice an awful cheesy foot smell, the woman opposite had removed her shoes.....it got really bad, and then she propped her unshod feet up on the seat between the two of us! The smell was overpowering, and my friend and I got less and less inhibited in our comments about it, none of which the woman reacted to in the slightest.

We suffered and moaned for about another hour, then just as we stood up to leave (still grumbling) I noticed the woman had been reading an English book.................I dragged my mate into the corridor and we collapsed in giggles, the woman in the carriage turned and gave us the filthiest of looks!

One good thing did come of it though, some Russian sailors were getting off at the same stop as us, noticed us giggling and came over and introduced themselves, and very charming they were too....but that is another story!!!! ;D

I too have a few this one is true and i sent it in to one of the ladies weekly magazines recently. my dad was getting really p****d off by the neighbours who kept parking and blocking his drive. visitors came to my mum and dads one day and my dad was telling them about the posh neighbours who were so stuck up they even had their house decorated by ann summers (he meant laura ashley).

when i was a student nurse i had a placement on a vascular ward, i was looking after a very sexy young man who had just undergone an angiogram which left him with a wound in his groin. i had to check the would regularly to ensure it wasnt bleeding, i went up to him and asked if i could check the wound he pulled back the covers and i said ooh thats lovely and clean (meaning the wound), he looked at me with a cheeky grin on his face winked and said oh i like to keep it clean for the ladies, exit one red faced girlie!!!!!!

i dont want to ambush this thread but i am very gullible and on duty as a firs aider we ended up calling the air ambulance to lift an unconscious young lady to hospital following a fall from her horse, i was in the mode for taking instructions from the paramedic and we got the girl in the basket etc and just needed to carry her across the field to the helicopter he said as the grass is uneven you need to old my hand, half way across the field i realised what i was doing and let go the paramedic and his pals had tears running down their faces with laughter still it was his 40th birthday and made his day

my colleague on nights said to me here do you know they have taken the word gullible out of the dictionary i said have they? well it was a night shift lol

This last one reminds me of an incident which happened shortly after returning from Canada to live back here.I was needing clothes and was asking folks about a decent brand name for suits etc and I was given a few.

I had been at a conference in the city centre and about a dozen of us were walking down one of the main streets to go to lunch and I saw a shop that was one of the names.

I asked quickly if they would mind if I popped into a shop and was told no probs , we will come too,they followed be as I explained in a very excited way that I was so pleased to have found this shop as I  have been looking for it for ages,because they have exactly what I need and such a good selection.

I walked in,looked around and then this heat of embarrassment went over me as I was surrounded by sex toys. Then I saw the faces of the women with me. I tried to explain then they all started to laugh and explained sweetly that I needed  Ann Harvey...not Ann Summers!!!

XX Jeannine

He he he!  ;D