Advice needed please, dissability issue.

[grannyjanny]

OHs sister had her second hip replaced in March of this year. Outside her front gate are some double yellow lines which are raised. She is very frightened of stepping over these line in case her stick trips her up or she falls over them. She is unable to go out alone. Can she ask for them to be removed & replaced on the flat.

[grannyjanny]

[PurpleHeather]

I can not imagine what you mean by raised yellow lines.

Do you mean those sort which mean 'no parking' ? The local County Council paints on the road? If so, in the first instance it would be worth finding out who the local county council representative is and ask them.  I never seem to find that action is very quick with councils. I am more sure that she will be told about 'the cuts' and wont get far.

When I had a knee operation, the nice man who issued the crutches gave us all good instructions on how to negotiate all the problems we could encounter when using them.

It is, I think, possible that your relative would benefit from that sort of advice. As a confidence boost. Some one could show her where to place the stick  then her feet.

May be getting a different sort of walking stick could be the key. 

Ask at the hospital if there is some one who would spend time to advise and explain how best to negotiate the obstacle.

[grannyjanny]

Yes it is the no parking lines. She had a physio walking round with her & but that has finished now she told her she needs to be brave The physio & hospital gave her the all the usual advice. She is 76 & has other health issues which make walking difficult for her. OH is regularly taking her for a walk & said it is a real fear for her & the fear is making it worse.

[manicscousers]

Janet, get hold of the council and explain, they don't want her tripping over something they have put outside her house, she might sue them  :)

[artichoke]

No experience in this, and maybe not helpful at all - but I have a mental picture of a wide heavy rubber mat (as in cars) placed over the lines at the point where she can see them (as people do over cables).

I realise this is still an uneven surface, but in a different way; and it may be that the bright yellow raised lines look more dangerous to her than they actually are, so hiding them might help, and give her more confidence?

Is there no pavement between her front gate and the lines? I'm finding it difficult to imagine her exact situation.

[grannyjanny]

As you walk through her gate there is a large flag that slopes slightly & is a bridge over a small flowing river to her left & right. The yellow lines are a few inches away from that & it completely throws her. She is not very steady on her feet & has fallen in the house. The walk my OH takes her on is about  5 minute walk for me & I can't walk fast, it takes her 20 minutes.

[Jeannine]

Can't help with the lines but as someone who has to use sticks may I suggest something. A pair of elbow sticks give so much more support than regular sticks and they are much easier to hold, plus is you have to wipe your nose or open a door the stick hangs on your arm so you can use your hand, I can even put a handbag on mine, they are much more expensive but oh boy are they better.  I wouldn't go out without mine. If I were to use regular sticks I couldn't use my hands. If I am in a say a dress shop I can move clothes along the rails as they will just hang there, same in the supermarket I can take things off shelves without having to put the stick down.

Maybe a thought, she could try them. They give me nuch better support to so I have less pain with them.

XX Jeannine

[PurpleHeather]

Sorry to say this Janny but It sounds like it is a personal problem with the lady's self confidence with her mobility rather than an issue with the 'yellow lines'.

There are an awful lot of walking aids on the market.

Let's face it even an athlete after suffering an injury needs to use a Zimmer Frame for a short time to reeducate her/his legs so there is no shame in needing extra support for a while.

These aids can be rented, borrowed or purchased but if they offer mobility the cost is irrelevant.

They key is, how much does the lady want to get out? May be she really feels vulnerable and would be happier in more sheltered accommodation all round with additional support.

It sounds like she has had a lot of advice and assistance which should aid her but is this one of those deep down 'cries for help' which are misunderstood?

Ask her if she would like to move into 'sheltered accommodation' Perhaps the thought of moving house is more than she can bear. If so, see if she qualifies for a carers benefit of some sort which will give her funds to get a taxi or pay some one to help her.

Sometimes it takes a touch of guidance in the conversation to find out what the person really wants.

***************

Many years ago my mother in law was her husband's carer. She confided in me that her biggest worry was what he would do if  'something happened to her'. She had tried to talk to her daughters and all she got was a dismissive response of 'You will live forever'.

I agreed with what they said then added, 'but what if you don't?

She said, 'that is my worry'.

I told her, there is no worry, I will sort it out.

There was a deep sigh and I am sure she believed me. Because she said, it would help me no end to know that some one would.  Then she told me her youngest son's wife worked at an old peoples home and that she thought it would be the best place for her husband.

Well to cut a long story short. She fell whilst visiting one of her daughters and broke her hip, she was sent home (a different area) and I think the doctors cocked up between where she was treated and where she lived and forgot to give her pills to stop her blood clotting.

So, seemingly making a good recovery she dropped dead.

The family was well spread out, so just before her funeral, I was alone with  'dad' and I asked him if he had given any thought to his future.

He replied. 'I do not think I can look after myself but would be ever so happy if a place could be found for me where Mary works.

I said 'well why not ask Mary if she can find out how to arrange it?' 

Seems that the conversation I had was overheard and it was a relief to the family to hear him say this.

No one knew how to broach the subject. 

He said, 'Do you think she would mind?

He added, after 'mum' died  he had stayed with them and he thought, that was what THEY wanted him to continue to do.

I told him that I was sure that they would love to have him but if he pointed out that they were out at work all day and he would like company during the day perhaps the best thing was to see if he could be accommodated at the home. They could always see him in the evenings when they came home from work.

The conversation was overheard by his son with whom he had been living and he was very relieved to hear it.

It did work out and all lived happily ever after.

The point of me telling you all this is, people are often scared to tell the truth and find all sorts of ways to avoid the inevitable.

Listening over a cuppa and a few leading questions might be what is needed.

[Jeannine]

Grannyjanny, I feel  I needed to write a bit  more here.

As someone who has very limited mobility and has fallen several times I can see exactly why she would be nervous. I don't think I misunderstood you,that she is currently u she is already using a walking aid, and I did not get any feeling from your  conversation that she feels any shame.

However after reading the info you provided over again  and  putting myself in her place which is easy, I can no more see the need to chat to her about sheltered accommodation as  anyone would me. The fear of falling is very real and no doubt she will  be able to adjust a little further down the line once she gets used to her stick.As I said earlier,I didn't get any hint from your post that she has any shame about using an aid. I got the impression that she is simply scared of falling  after having surgeries and the yellow lines are throwing her off a bit.

I  can totally relate to this and shudder to think that someone in the background might be thinking of popping me in sheltered accommodation because I was nervous about walking. I don't walk well. I have a fear of falling  but I am  not hiding a deep down misunderstood  cry for help and given what you said I would doubt that it would apply to her either. I am better on my feet now than I was two years ago when this problem of mine started. She too will probably get better once she has had more time.

I don't want to be rude and offend anyone  but the previous post  is more than  a bit startling to read for someone who is unsteady on their pins.

She will probably get her confidence back in her own time,and she may need a bit more time than someone else. Only someone who has that fear can possibly understand how real it is, but it doesn't mean the sheltered accommodation route just because of her unsteadiness or lack of confidence while adjusting. Blimey, I would  use a mobility scooter before that .

Take care  ;D

XX Jeaninne

[manicscousers]

I, Too, am unsteady on my pins and, at 58, sheltered accomodation is definitely not on the cards, I also suffer from dizzy spells if I look upwards for any length of time (arthritis in the spine), give her time to adjust to things, you say your oh is taking her out, that should give her confidence, I would still have a tlak to the council, they're all for people living in their own homes for as long as they can..my mum in law (90), has had a rail placed outside her house so she can get up and down off the step without falling (and she does fall, lots )  :)

[rosebud]

 I have the most dreadfull fear of falling i use 2 sticks, i have a handrail both back & front door.  I am not in the least harbouring deep thoughts of sheltered accommodation.

I agree whole heartedly to everything Jeannine has said .  It will take time bless her.

[grannyjanny]

She certainly doesn't need sheltered accommodation, I don't think her husband would like that idea, just wish he would pull his finger out & take her for walks instead of relying on others. He is 9 years younger than her. It is purely a confidence issue, she has been discharged by her consultant who told her it will take time because of her other problems, & she will eventually not need her stick, she has polymyalgia rheumatica, type 2 diabetis, & thyroid problems. They have a downstairs bathroom so only has to get upstairs once a day. She walked round M&S at Cheadle for an hour last week with her stick & thoroughly enjoyed it. It is purely the fear of falling over the bumps. OH has emailed the council & will get it sorted, the phrase dog & bone spring to mind when he gets started ;). 
The polymialgia rheumatica is treated with steroids (long term, 10 yearsish) which triggered the diabetis, which in all probability caused her to need both hips replacing. We think she needs to see an endocronologist but they don't want to make a fuss, of an age where you don't question doctors or make suggestions.
Thank you every one for suggestions