Saga of the greenhouse 8 (almost............)

[Deeds]

Ok folks here's the last one.

After hours of painstakingly translating Dutch into English, Ted had the brilliant idea of phoning the greenhouse manufacturers to see if they could supply him with a copy of the instructions that he had incinerated in the microwave.  He did not explain what had happened to them (too embarrassed possibly?) and they kindly mailed a duplicate set which arrived this morning.

First things first, he had allowed me to help by putting on the black rubber strip â€" no, you naughty lot â€" not that sort of black rubber strip, the sort which acts as a cushion for the glass against the metal of the greenhouse, and as it was very cold this morning he didn’t want to go out and do it.

He could avoid it no longer.  It was time to do the glazing.  To make sure we had all the glass needed, he heaved four heavy boxed onto the lawn, opened them up and separated the different sizes of glass into piles all around the lawn.  Being determined to get the right piece of glass every time, he spent the next hour with a tape measure and a bottle of my nail varnish, marking each piece with a “unique reference number” and spreading them out in a semblance of order, trying hard, but not succeeding, to avoid all the daffodils coming up in the lawn.

In the packaging, each sheet of glass was separated by a piece of brown paper so throughout the garden we had brown paper underneath each pane.  To replace the brown paper blown away by the wind and now hiding under the trees and shrubs around the garden, he utilized this weeks copy of The Cornish Guardian to achieve the same effect.  Getting to the bottom of the final box, he found five panes of glass that were cracked.  His attempts with magic tape were not as successful as he had hoped, so he finally rang Focus, to see if they could help.  They were brilliant, sorted out five panes of glass without hesitation and invited him to call in and pick them up.  Off he went up the Bodmin bypass.  Into the boot went fives panes of glass, which Focus has packed extremely well (and apologised that he had had to make the journey! â€" what service).  Back he came, very carefully.  These panes were duly laid out on their bits of newspaper, and labelled accordingly.

The instruction said start with the roof, each panel needing two panes of glass.  He rested the bottom pane on the first panel and grabbed four springy thingies to clip it in place â€" ten minutes working out which way round they went and how they clipped in were followed by a quick screech of pain when he managed to impale one in between the end of his thumb and thumbnail.  Off came the pane of glass, delicately but hurriedly laid down, while he rushed indoors to stick his thumb under the tap.  Two strips of elastoplast later he was back in the garden having another go.  It seems this lesson had provided him with an alternative way of getting the clips in place, because it wasn’t long before he had all four bottom panes clipped in on one side of the roof.  Selecting the first top pane, he slotted the two ‘z’ clips onto a bottom panel, introduced the glass into the slot on the ridge, and tried to get it over the ‘z’ clips.  It didn’t work.  Glass doesn’t bend.  The only way to do it was to take all the springy thingies off the bottom panel, slide it down a bit, slot the top panel into the ‘z’ clips, and push both panels up into position.  This called for him to undo all 16 of the springy thingies he had just lost blood putting into place.  Roof half done.

By comparison the other half was easy, but he had set the bar across where the opening window goes too low, so the pane of glass underneath it wouldn’t fit and he had to readjust accordingly.  After that it was a doddle.  He whizzed round the sides of the greenhouse â€" but because of the time spent, zooming up and down the Bodmin bypass, it was now getting dark, and the temperature was falling like a brick.  The final half dozen panes or so were positioned using the outside light to see by, which was not that easy as he was just outside the sensor range and it kept switching off. Being determined to finish it, he put one pane in, did a merry little dance under the light (Oh for a video camera) dashed up the garden for the next pane and tried to fix it before the light went out again.  Under such pressure he had little time to spare so when he found the last three panes had frozen to their newspaper, he just ripped off the bits that came off easily and positioned the glass anyway.

Sunday - am
It wasn’t until this morning when I went out to admire his handiwork that I realised we already had some greenhouse shading fitted!  I am equally fascinated by the glittering purple numbering system throughout my greenhouse, which will now allow me to catalogue everything which goes in by the nearest pane of glass. Mind you maybe those on the roof are not likely to be much use.

[Deeds]

[katynewbie]

;D

See??? Numbered panes....I knew he would come good in the end!!!!!!

;D

[cookie]

I have laughed and laughed and laughed reading this! oh for a greenhouse, just for the entertainment value you understand!!!

[supersprout]

Oh, that was lovely! Can we have the picture too? Please? ::) :D

[SMP1704]

Brilliant - you have a real talent for writing.  Don't leave us now - we need to know about the Saga of the Aga...............

[MrsKP]

Superb stuff Deeds.  Thanks so much for keeping us all in hysterics and thanks also must go to Ted, our hero.

You should post a pic of the three of you (you, Ted and the g/h).

[lorna]

Agree with MrsKP please pics must be seen. Great reading with lots of laughter.

[froglets]

Ahh, the outdoor light sensor dance, one of my fave's.

Great post, well written

So, what's the next project.......

[csnail]

You should submit this to a Sunday Magazine...you might earn enough to buy all the plants you want for the greenhouse.

Then of course we would eagerly await a report of the planting process.
:)