Christmas cake

[Paulines7]

Christmas Cake Recipe

Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the vodka again. To be sure it is of the highest
quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat . Turn on the electric
mixer.   :)

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK.
Try another cup .... just in case Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor.  :D
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a
drewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a s***.
Check the vodka.   ;D
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.   ::)
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the
cat.

CHERRY MISTMAS!   ;D  ;D  ;D

[Paulines7]

[Looby Loo]

Hmmm.  Sounds like the same recipe book I used for Christmas dinner last year.  I vaguely recollect we ended up with a fry-up

[Derekthefox]

Good seasonal food ... I tend to use wine rather than vodka ...

Derekthefox :D

[wardy]

Hee hee - that really made me laugh out loud Pauline.  Thanks!  What a good way to start the day  ;D

[undercarriage plan]

LOL!! Lovely recipe!! And am very happy with ending, blessed animal just been sick in my boot!!! ::)

[Derekthefox]

Is that your left boot or your right boot?  ;D ;D ;D

I presume you weren't wearing them at the time ...

Derekthefox ;D

[undercarriage plan]

Darn animal is lucky was me old orange ones!! Didn't look that closely Derek.....nor will I be... :P ;)

[Derekthefox]

So you will just hang them up to dry, then knock them out?

Derekthefox ;D

[Lorna2]

Pauline. I have never baked a Christmas cake in my life (or any other cake for that matter!!) Oh I tell a fib, baked a cake just after I got married in 1952 it was a total disaster so have never tried since. However I reckon I could follow your recipe but could I please substitute brandy for the vodka ;D ;D???

[undercarriage plan]

Just make sure you kick the cat, Lorna.... ::)

[Lorna2]

UC I haven't got a cat but Lorna jnr has got two. I wouldn't hurt a cat but can't bare it when they keep rubbing round your legs, especially when I would be making my first cup of tea. We always had cats, Charlie loved them but I will never have another one. Flipping cats always had their food before my early morning cuppa. Oh well let me decide which cat is for it.... Laura or Alfie.??

[Paulines7]

........However I reckon I could follow your recipe but could I please substitute brandy for the vodka ;D ;D???

Lorna 2, I expect you could substitute brandy for the vodka.  I would prefer cointreau myself.  I made myself very ill once many, many years ago by drinking too much green chartreuse after my boyfriend let me down.  I have never tasted it since.  The same thing happened on my 18th birthday when I drank too much whisky and was as sick as a dog! (that's a funny saying isn't it!  In my house I have never known my dog to be sick but my cat vomits two or three days a week...fur balls).

[wardy]

My lovely niece has made me this Christmas cake!  She also made me some hand made truffles, mint creams and some gorgeous white chocs with dark choc flakes on  :o

She's been very ill over the past 7 weeks, and has been back in hospital four times, can't go out yet so has been passing the time by cooking. 

This is the cake and it's got Cointreau and Calvados in it  :)

[lorna]

Wardy I sincerely hope your niece will be well enough to enjoy Christmas. She must be one positive lady to do all that cooking when she is not very well. Best wishes to her.

[Gravell]

Hi ya, Wardy old pal old friend best buddy and ooohh what else, ok ok i'll get to the point!!!  Gis a bit hehehe. The cake would look lovely on my kitchen table. mmmmmm...

[wardy]

Does look scrummy dunnit!  I've not been tempted yet but I've just shifted it out of the way so I won't be.  Have some Marks and Sparks Christmas slices to keep me going.  I'm such a pig  ;D  I've eaten one whole cake already since last Friday. I saved my husband a bit as he was away last week.  I've just kept cutting a bit every time I had a cuppa.  Trouble is I mash tea every half an hour  :o  So when he came back there was the thinnest possible sliver of cake left for him  ;D  I told him it was his own fault for not being there  :)

[Looby Loo]

Wardy, that looks so pretty. 

I have been trying to decide what to do with my cake.  Thanks for the inspiration - less is definately more!