Topic: All cleaned up

[ACE]

Although it is a bit early in the month for my bath, she got me in there this morning and I've had a good scrub up, she even found me a clean pair of undercrackers . Reason for smelling of brut this early in the day. I have just had a call from the NHS telling me to nip up for a pre-assesment just in case of the likelhood of a cancellation to have my kneecap replaced. Well I'm as fit as a fiddle so there shouldn't be a problem. So it looks as if it could be all systems  go. I asked what they did with the old one as I thought I could bring it home for the dog, but the thieving buggers keep them. I bet their dogs don't go hungry.

[caroline7758]

Good luck, Ace!

[betula]

Bad of them to keep it..it is yours after all   ;D ;D ;D


Good luck.

[Grandma]

As you were so obviously left behind in our evolution from the hairy primates, I'm surprised you've had to wait at all.

Everyone knows ape knees are two a penny.

(But best of luck anyway) xxx

[ACE]

Nov.4th, so I should be back into circulation for the Xmas festivities.6 weeks without driving. They took the p!ss, took some blood after about 4 goes, stuck sticky pads on my hairy chest and took great delight in pulling them off, poked something in my lughole. But I came out A1+. loads of questions and then they got cheeky when I admitted I had a cigar to relax now and again (2 a month). Why don't you give them up, why? I asked, bad for your health was the reply, well so was working I said, but nobody insisted I should give that up.  I would not be having the knee replaced if was not for the digging work I used to do.

[1066]

might be time to think about one of these  :P  ;)  :P

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/8061119/Man-builds-worlds-fastest-mobility-scooter.html

best of luck

[asj]

I have come to the conclusion, Ace, that you must be a first-class wimp ;D.  I had my kneecaps removed some 30 years ago, and have not noticed the loss - why do you need a replacement  ????  Must agree with 1066  ;D 

[betula]

LOL  ;D

I must say that after seeing ACE work on the NEC show garden last year he is a real Grafter......so not at all surprised he needs new knees  ;D

[ACE]

I have come to the conclusion, Ace, that you must be a first-class wimp ;D.

Blimey! I've been sussed, yep that me

he is a real Grafter..

It must have been the tablets I was on ;) My big failing is never give up

 

why do you need a replacement  ????  

Cos some silly bugger wore the first one out ;D

As you were so obviously left behind in our evolution from the hairy primates.

Contrary to public belief, I was reared in captivity you know






There are other on these boards that have suffered this complain, so they do not need reminding about the depressing pain you are constantly in, I just need to shout about it a bit more for the sympathy vote, (all say Aaaaah). 10 years I've been waiting (Aaaaah) been flung on the scrapheap (Aaaah) they even tried to classify me as disabled, (Aaaah) given me early retirement (Aaaah) even gave me my generous council pension (Aaaah) But I have born it with a gracious disposition (Aaaah) and yes you have it right, Mrs. ACE is going to hide my bell when I come out of hospital. (even bigger Aaaah)

So think of me as you mend you broken greenhouse windows after firework night, some of us were put on this world to suffer ;)  Whoops nearly forgot, all together now Aaaaah.

ACE bury me at wounded knee GARDENER

[rosebud]

 Ace, i wish you all the best for your knee replacement. I only wish  i could have my VERY painfull knees done but cannot due to health reasons, so i know how you must be suffering.  Good luck with it all, you are having it done on my birthday so i shall think of you on my big O day.
Take care.  Rosebud ;D ;D

[cornykev]

Ace off the road for 6 weeks,absolute bliss for the islanders to be able to drive on the roads, sorry dirt tracks without the gas guzzler tailgating them up their arse, honking his horn, flashing his lights and running them off the track, they'll probably have the bunting up, even might stretch to a street party.
All the best you ol git and no touching up the nurses you know what the Judge said last time.   :P       ;)        ;D ;D ;D

[shirlton]

 no touching up the nurses you know what the Judge said last time.


As if ;D

[Tin Shed]

stuck sticky pads on my hairy chest and took great delight in pulling them off

Didn't you get your chest shaved then and end up with two little bare patches ;)

All the best, but be careful, Sister might not appreciate all your jokes ;D

[Froglegs]

6 Weeks off driving folk mad with "have ya seen me scar? i had to have a bell removed you know"  ;D good luck I'm sure all will go well and you will be back chandelier hanging in no time ma duck .

[Paulines7]

Good luck Ace. 

At the beginning of this thread you said it was your knee cap that was being replaced.  When you said a few weeks ago that you were having a knee replacement, I assumed it was the joint that was being replaced. 

The reason I am asking is that my consultant said it wasn't worth just having the cap replaced on its own as I would be back in after year or so to have a total replacement.  I therefore went ahead and had the whole lot done.

After two total knee replacements I feel fitter now than before the first one was done in 2001.  Yes, the recovery is painful but if you do all the exercises afterwards, you will have a new lease of life and wonder why you didn't have it done sooner.

I will be thinking of you on 4th. 

[ACE]

It was originally a knee capping job, but now it is the full monty. Just had a phone call bringing the op on a week so it is the 28th of this month now, I had better get my jammies sorted as I don't fancy a week of wearing a gown that leaves my @rse on view.

something like these would do


but I expect the ladies would prefer these



Now come over all unnecessary now girls, just rate the jammies. ;)

[Grandma]

Please go for the full cover-up - complete with the 'warning - 'hazardous load' signs.

Do they do one with a hood?

[shirlton]

Now if you looked anything like him Ace ;D

[ACE]

Now if you looked anything like him Ace ;D

Well I do have the six pack ;D

[shirlton]

 ;D