Topic: Dear God

[superspud]

I know that I never pray to you, I know I said you didn't exist. I have been told you read this forum, so please can you sort this out

will you please either explain kindly to my wife nicely ( or in the event you can't get through to her like I can not, bring a plague of locusts down upon her head) That when a man discusses having a Fruit and veg patch over a period of five years or so, and she shows no interest or help in digging it up, that it is NOT cool or fair after telling you it is pointless to then march into the said garden smugly carrying a barrow full of ruddy flowers and such stating how she thinks they would look good placed in the spud patch or in the cabbage patch. Then standing there with that " you dug it over now I'm taking over" look going on about how good it would look with her new yet to be gotten swinging lounger & umbrella in the corner with the largest hint that as the garden now looks flat and cool a BBQ would also go well.

Can you also please tell her that when you agree the front garden is hers and the back mine, that SHE has to dig over / weed /or otherwise sort out the front, more so it is her responsibility when she does nothing to help out with the veg patch. That if she wants to plant Nigella or such that she does it in the FRONT garden.

God I dont ever ask for much but please please sort her out ( Maybe I can suggest a bolt of lightning? ), if you can not get through to her as I can't then please send me a barrow full of patience as mine has now run out.

Thank you for listening to the crazy man who is tearing his hair out and gnashing his teeth.

Spud.

[SMP1704]

Leave out packets of cosmos, calendula, nasturtiums and sweet peas for Missus Superspud.  That way you get your companion planting done for you.

That leaves you enough time to dig over the front garden ;D ;D ;D

[Jeannine]

He only sends you what you can handle XX Jeasnnine

[Ninnyscrops.]

That made me giggle  ;D

Let one or two veg plants grow to the flowering stage, some are very pretty (and you can save the seed too  ;))

Ninny

[macmac]

How long have you been married ?haven't you realised we women take over !
Usually 'cos we have to
ooops! ;D

[superspud]

How long have you been married ?haven't you realised we women take over !
Usually 'cos we have to
ooops! ;D

It's a life sentence, I await parole as we speak.  this time it's been 11 years. I wouldn't mind if she took over because she had to, but she didn't, I mean when you are digging a straight line by eye that starts at 24" away from a wall one end and ends up at 12" from it the opposite end, and I had to show her how to use a line, it tells me she is not ready to be boss yet!.

God should know these things, it merely shows me he is yet again torturing us males. He does it in supermarkets too you know, shopping is nothing more than a torture designed by females against males in order to seek revenge for any minor transgressions once or more a week.

I wouldn't really mind the weekly shop, but lets face it, not only do we men get dragged round every shop in town, to end up back at the first one as we get nagged and moaned at how this dress or those shoes aren't quite right, we also then get some Nora Batty looking woman tapping her toes arms crossed giving us an intimidating stare whilst daring us NOT to pay for the goods at the checkout so she can save her money for Bingo nights!!!!!!. Now he wants to do this to me with the garden, it really is more than any sane chap should have to take.

Spud.

[tonybloke]

for god's (and yours) sake, teach her to drive!! then you can stay at home relaxing/gardeneing, while SWMBO goes round the shops!!

[superspud]

Tony, Do NOT go there for gods sake !!!!, I did just that, I paid for her to take driving lessons. let me see......

1. I caught her and the instructor in the layby down the road "nattering" for most of her lessons, she told me she had been driving round Newbury...
2. She repeatedly refused to read the highway code book, stating she didn't need to do so as it had nothing to do with driving a car and it was boring.
3. I gave her lessons one day, we arrived at a roundabout, I waited for her to move of as there was no traffic coming, she waited and waited untill something was then decided to go for it, I hit the hand brake rapidly, too which she sulked and after sitting at the roundabout for at least ten minutes she abandoned the car and started walking home.


No driving lessons are not the answer.

I took her out on the back of the motorbike one day, I was doing 30, she swore I was doing 100 and said she would never get back on one. Since then my Yamaha seems to collect moss and green stuff as I no longer seem to have money for parts ( amazing that, as everytime I say I want to sort it out we seem to have no cash spare, however mention hobbycraft and we do).

[guerriero75]

superspud

Is GOD speaking to you...................... My Loved Son, nor me nor anyone else can solved this problem.....the first Apple was poisoned...welll that didnt work..I tried my best Son, still didn't work...LIFE its a pregnant dog...lmao

I know that I never pray to you, I know I said you didn't exist. I have been told you read this forum, so please can you sort this out

will you please either explain kindly to my wife nicely ( or in the event you can't get through to her like I can not, bring a plague of locusts down upon her head) That when a man discusses having a Fruit and veg patch over a period of five years or so, and she shows no interest or help in digging it up, that it is NOT cool or fair after telling you it is pointless to then march into the said garden smugly carrying a barrow full of ruddy flowers and such stating how she thinks they would look good placed in the spud patch or in the cabbage patch. Then standing there with that " you dug it over now I'm taking over" look going on about how good it would look with her new yet to be gotten swinging lounger & umbrella in the corner with the largest hint that as the garden now looks flat and cool a BBQ would also go well.

Can you also please tell her that when you agree the front garden is hers and the back mine, that SHE has to dig over / weed /or otherwise sort out the front, more so it is her responsibility when she does nothing to help out with the veg patch. That if she wants to plant Nigella or such that she does it in the FRONT garden.

God I dont ever ask for much but please please sort her out ( Maybe I can suggest a bolt of lightning? ), if you can not get through to her as I can't then please send me a barrow full of patience as mine has now run out.

Thank you for listening to the crazy man who is tearing his hair out and gnashing his teeth.

Spud.

[superspud]

Guerriero75 yup I agree it sure is a dog, in fact it seems to be Ruff all round.

[landimad]

Super spud, I can only feel sorry for you as this has happened in my family all to often. Now I can say that my OH is on my side, she wants to have a place that is both good looking and edible.  ;)

[Mrs Gumboot]

You're making me thank my lucky stars that my other half has absolutely no interest in the garden at all, unless there's a set of goal posts in it. Happily the garden isn't big enough.

We are about to start having 'discussions' about interior design however. He knows I'll win in the end so I don't know why he fights it  :D

I should point out that we have a much more give and take thing going on than seems to happen in your house. I win on some things and he wins on others. After nearly nine years we pretty much know who wins what! I keep an eye on the finances, but we trust each other to spend a bit every now and again and not go mad. That way everyone's happy.