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Blagging Freebies

Started by ceres, March 23, 2010, 16:12:35

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Digeroo

I must say I like the thought of having an organisers envelope to collect a little bonus for the organiser. 

Mind you that means it has to complete the journey. 

Digeroo


Robert_Brenchley

I think we need to encourage people to do this, and perhaps have a place on the boards where people can look for techniques. It can be a bit intimidating if you've never tried it.

1066

good idea robert  ;D 

landimad

I might be late on this thread, but there are givers and takers in this world.
I would regard myself as both, I take and give to the best of my ability.
I would however give the benefit of the doubt to all who ask for something.
I am not here to judge or convict anyone who asks of me what is available,.
If I got enough then I shall give without question.
We are not here to gain financially but to gain in knowledge and friendship with all who cross our paths.
In the end we shall all be better from the thought that we are happy knowing that we have given.
As I have always been told by my elders, " It is better to give than receive"  
I am happy to give any and all to better my quality of life.
If I die a pauper after giving all away then I shall be happy.
If I die a rich man then I shall be not able to enjoy what I have left behind.

Got them back now to put some tread on them

Wilder

#44
you've asked for newbies to comment so here's my 2p! ;)

I actually found the site while googling for seed swap. I don't know anyone else with a garden/veg patch except one incredibly busy surgeon and we never seem to make our seed swap meet-up. When I joined I obviously realised what a treasure trove of info and guidance this place was so I became hooked.

I suck at asking, I feel nervous, embarrassed and ashamed when asking for help. I've managed to put that aside when asking for advice but actually asking for seeds I still get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. That's how I was brought up.
I overcame that as I was happy I could and would offer to exchange, and not just ask, and I've been lucky I have some exciting sikkim cukes (thanks Julie!) and Crown Prince (:) 1066!).

Whrn I say exciting I'm talking of that feeling you get Chritmas morning, opening those envelopes and reading about the varieties and nervously, impatiently waiting till you can sow them.

I'd love to have the courage to ask for loads more seed, just 2/3 of things to see would it work but the idea of asking on several different forums all at the same time just blows my mind. I'm not critical of people who do, I genuinely mean it blows MY mind.

It's not easy to give something in the spirit of generosity when your gut instinct is saying you are being taken advantage of, and I think that's what I see in the first post here. There is a selfish element to alruism, it makes us feel good to give, so much so we want to share in the receievers excitiment and joy at the gift, this is completely normal, so the thank you and response it very important in this exchange.

If you are the type of person who gives with no further thought or need to be involved you won't mind what the person uses your gift for, they might immediately list the seeds on eBay, you won't care. Your attitude might be they probably need to earn some extra cash.
If you're the other type who enjoys the enjoyment, you might feel hard done by if they are not used as you intended.
Neither type is wrong, and people should feel free to give as they wish.

PS I strongly encouraged Mike of the Buddist centre in Bexhill on Sea to join this site as they will soon have their lottie! If you do see peeps from there asking for help, please do give generously!! I've also encouraged them to Freecycle for start up help with equipment.
St Leonard's on Sea

landimad

This is the response that all should be looking to,
I am pleased that you have spoken out and hope that others join you.
Those that wish to exploit the gifts we give, please do not and those who find it hard to ask, please do not feel ashamed to. We will talk to one and all. Its just that we may not give the answer you are looking for in the first place.
Keep the Christmas feeling inside and let it out when the right thing comes along.

Got them back now to put some tread on them

Jeannine

I think there is a little difference to giving something you don't want and buying 3o or 40 packets of expesive seed to start a swap, and I don't mean Lidls 50p jobs. It is assumed by many if you start a swap you are giving away what you don't want, but some swaps start with new purchased seeds and is meant to be a sharing thing. So yes, although I am giver which I think is fairly well know on here, I am not going to feel good if I spend  $16 for a packet of very special  beans go with all the other seeds I have bought specifically for the swap ,for it to end up on e bay and not with the gardeners I aimed to share it with. Even worse if the whole parcel vanishes.

I think there is a way around this if we all give it some thought.

XX Jeannine
When God blesses you with a multitude of seeds double  the blessing by sharing your  seeds with other folks.

Jeannine

Wilder ,thank for your reply, and if I may I would like to use for an example. Although a newbie you have contributed well to the forum, asked questions, given advice and sent good wishes to someone who was ill , you have been on line regularly since you joined, and you haven't spent the time here asking for stuff that showed up. you have been polite and sensitive to other folks and you have given your thanks for help you have had...and all this with a positive attitude and sense of humour This a good member!! Don't be afraid to ask. My swap right now is specifically for a reason so could not include you but if I was doing the type I usually do I would include you if you asked. I sent this same message to another newbie recently.

XX Jeannine
When God blesses you with a multitude of seeds double  the blessing by sharing your  seeds with other folks.

Digeroo

I did actually buy some packets especially for mine but they were 50p each.   In the light of experience I would not recommend sending anything expensive to random people.  And yes it was supposed to be a sharing thing as Jeannine puts it.  Some of the people in the middle of my round robin got a very poor offering.    I think what you get depends very much on who is just before you and whether they share your interests.  

I suppose I was a bit naive to the swapping parcel business when I started one.  I certainly did not feel good about my rather bossy rules but at least it did lay down some ground rules.  But not everyone read them.  

I would rather give some seeds to someone who asks for some than feel that I have been taken advantage of by person or people unknown.  I suppose that giving does have an advantage for the giver but theft or cheating is a different matter.  







1066

Quote from: Wilder on March 24, 2010, 09:20:02

PS I strongly encouraged Mike of the Buddist centre in Bexhill on Sea to join this site as they will soon have their lottie! If you do see peeps from there asking for help, please do give generously!! I've also encouraged them to Freecycle for start up help with equipment.


Let me know - I'm sure I have some spares of stuff they could get started with  :) (I presume they are the guys opposite Bexhill station)

PS - lovely post Wilder  :)

brownowl23

As a relative newbie I love this site for its advice and in the majority its friendlyness. Although I have met with some less than helpful bods, but this happens I think on all forums.

Up until now I havent asked to swap any seeds as I felt I was too new to be included. I did ask to join Jeannines but realise now that I dont have the longevity as a member to be able to participate.
The reason I asked to join Jeaninnes was in the hope of getting the odd seed of something unusual to grow and to add seeds to the parcel to share with others.

I love growing things that are unusual, and if I go abroad I look around for seeds to bring back if I can.

I love the fact that seed swaps do happen here and hope to be part of hem in the future, once ive earned my place that is. Long may they continue and I hope everyone respects the work of the organiser and that they recipients do grow what they take and let us know what they thought of them.

Its peoples thoughts and experiences  on new varieties that get the interest of others and help us all to decide what else to grow.  Its also peoples generosity that enables us to do so


shirlton

#51
I have only ever taken part in one seed swap on here and I would not do another. I got all of my seeds ready to put into the swap. When it finally got around to me I was very dissapointed at what the parcel contained. To be honest what I took from it wasn't worth a fraction of the postage. I did wonder how much the others were putting in.
When I get old I don't want people thinking
                      "What a sweet little old lady"........
                             I want em saying
                    "Oh Crap! Whats she up to now ?"

Robert_Brenchley

I've never felt let down yet; I've got things from swap parcels that I'd never have thought of otherwise. I hadn't thought previously about what happens when someone puts a lot of money into making up a swap - I agree they need to be extra careful - as I've always put spares and saved seed.

Jeannine

Robert this is a one off for me..like a going away gift as I won't be able to participate so much XX  I  do have  a regular one planned that will be basic, and like my last one that got lost I probably won't need it back.Jeannine
When God blesses you with a multitude of seeds double  the blessing by sharing your  seeds with other folks.

Wilder

#54
thanks for the lovely comments, and yes 1066, that's them. They get their lottie in Sidley 1st April I believe. I already have excess Toms and chillis plants and possible onions grown from seeds I can start them off with and I've just cleared out packs of seeds I know I will not have the space to sow and given them to Mike. Paying it forward!

and Jeannine, I hadn't realised that the round robin type things were seeds people bought and which could go missing, that's awful  and clearly these are a lot more work and postage costs >:( I was only thinking of either straight swaps or getting rid of excess before they're past their best.

How incredibly shortsighted of them, short term gain can't be worth building up a relationship of trust. I do feel people may not realise the potential of web groups and how incredibly powerful they can be as social groups. Online freindships and social groups have the potential to be as powerful and rewarding as any meatspace group.
I am a long term member of a Forum called Metafilter where people discuss the best of the web. As it now has thousands of members all over the world, there are always really interesting posts from members who actually know a bit behind the news stories of the day and give of their knowledge, anything from computers to bioengineering, art history, genetics, you name it . On another section called AskMetafilter people do just that and the responses and volumn of knowledge is quite amazing.
But I've been lucky to observe over the last 6 years hundreds of examples of people on this forum helping other members, sometimes with financial assistance but usually with jobs, advice or buying something and posting it on because it wasn't availible in that country, etc., etc., There are also physical meet-ups in many cities through-out the world and going into a pub in London to meet a load of people you only know via a screen name was fascinating. I have life-long friends as a result. One of the members from San Francisco recently had a accident on his bike and needed $50,000 worth of surgery and aftercare. Loads of members contributed as you could see the guy has a 8 year history as a member of the community so complete strangers from all across the world sent a few dollars by paypal. Forum members near him visited and brought food, offered practical help etc.,

When we moved away from living as extended families we lost something of fundamental importance to us as social human beings so it is not surprising that the web is becoming a vehicle to replace what we lost and build social groups again.

Sorry to drone on, but I've been thinking a lot about this lately!

so I have to admit seeing people who would lose all that potential for short term gain is just daft.
St Leonard's on Sea

Digeroo

I have just had a conversion on the road to Damascus well some Wiltshire B road.

I managed to blag some manure off a totally strange farmer, I offer to pay for it but he said I could have some free there is a huge pile and it has been growing for years.  Enough to cover my veggie patch 100 ft deep or more.

Also some complete stranger helped me fill me fill my bags with compost and lifted some of them into the car.  So favours are getting back to me.  So I apologise to the people who will hopefully enjoy the seeds from the swap and hope that they will pass on the favour to someone.  Then if everyone blags something from someone, and every one gives something back to someone else there will be lots of favours going round the world.

Jeannine

Wilder, seed swaps are not usually like this one,  XX Jeannine
When God blesses you with a multitude of seeds double  the blessing by sharing your  seeds with other folks.

Suzanne

Just would like to say that the seed swaps I have organised have always returned home. Love reading peoples comments on the list when it comes back. I have had thank you cards enclosed as well. I have had amixed bag in terms of returns - I remember once getting about 7 packets of gardeners delight tomatoes from all manner of seed companies. But the places I donate the left over seeds to were still very happy with them.

I have also swapped with others on a US Forum, but can understand their reluctance in swaps with someone in the Uk, they seem very concerned about import laws.

I have participated in seed swaps though where the parcel gets stuck and I did note in one year it appeared to be the same individual on two occasions.

In terms of blags I think its a bit of swings and roundabouts. I grow and donate veg plants to the annual village sales, and some villagers remember me on their trips and bring me back packets of seeds to grow.



Robert_Brenchley

I once set up a Trillium swap with someone in the US, then he got raided and his garden quarantined. I can understand their reluctance!

Hector

I am a newby in that I was very active (but new) last year. I got tremendous support from his forum (in terms of advice and seed/plant offers)...including the regulars posting on this thread. I was offerred seeds/plants and returned seeds/plants (didnt do an organised swap as I felt I was too new).  I did have one person take twice and not say thx or anything...but then I won't send them anything agan but would send to other newer folks :) This is a true community on here and I was amazed by folks kindness.

BUT.....

I can see both sides. I was active or several years on another forum (not been to healthy until recently...so not been active anywhere)...anyhoo...we consistently get people joining...not returning swaps....asking for goods but not contributing to discussions/forum as a whole. This is not folk starting out...it is a gimme gimme thing (including pretending to be a charity...no nice). However...these people are a tiny percentage of the genuine folk...but it always causes hooha/bad vibes.  The swappers themselves formed a nice/naughty list. Nice just means got successful swap....naughty was if no swop/no replies to lost parcels. Worked very very well.

I suppose what I mean is...a small amount of folk can spoil something but it works well most of the time...so I think benefit of doubt but then no more swaps for the consistently naughty??
ps happy to send Wilder my seed list :)
Jackie

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