Topic: Cooking with Asperger's!

[Kea]

As some of you may know by now my oldest son (18) as Asperger's Syndrome. It doesn't seem much of a problem a lot of the time and sometimes it's just really funny.

Planning on going to Uni next year he is brushing up on his cooking skills at the moment.
On Saturday it was going to be a Chicken Madras and an Aubergine and lentil Dahl followed by a trifle made with a proper egg custard on the top.

First Mum had to get the ingredients while he was at his Saturday music lessons.

Here is part of my list.....

1 large Aubergine
Red lentils
fenugreek seeds
4 Tablespoons of Water......!!! :o ;D
etc

People must have thought I was mad...as i read that in the middle of the supermarket I fell about laughing!

Next the trifle.....the big question

"Mum i need the egg yolks for this recipe...i know how to separate the whites from the yolks but I don't know how to separate the yolks from the whites?" He had to wait for an answer for some time with a very puzzled look on his face while me and his younger brother stopped crying with laughter.

Then he carried on to make the custard, he's good at following recipes so I just said tell me if you don't understand something and went off to do another job.
unfortunately the recipe missed out a crucial instruction so the failure wasn't his fault.......it just said heat up the milk and remove from heat to mix in egg and stir until thickened...it didn't mention to put it back on the heat so he didn't...he then poured the runny mix over the sponge and Raspberries. :(

The curries were a great success particularly the Dahl recipe which was delicious best i've ever had. The chicken one was hot but bland...not the cooks fault though.

[sarah]

sound like you guys have a laugh.  i love cooking with my boys and they love to cook. 

any chance of that dahl recipe?...

[raisedbedted]

Thats lovely, all too often people concentrate only on the negatives of different conditions without also celebrating the positives that can come through their refreshing diversity.

[artichoke]

Actually this is very interesting....here there are Aspergers Syndrome x 2 in my home....

It's not always easy to simply laugh, because an older AS person can get very angry if things go unpredictably wrong.

Maybe this is not the place to discuss AS, I only mention it because it came up here.

[Kea]

Yes I will track down that recipe...It's in a book i bought for him and it's somewhere in his room and i want the recipe too!

You have to celebrate the differences and there are lots of positives. My son thinks outside the box and that's very useful.

However as you say Artichoke, there are negatives and his anger is scary! Fortunately he is used to us because we gently wind him up a little and tease him a bit because it gets him used to what he can expect in the real world. Before he was diagnosed though we had much more anger.

[louise stella]

My son has Aspergers/Dyspraxia and Joint LAxity!  He is 9 years old and gives me joy and heartache in almost equal amounts!  He is having big problems at school at the mo and wants to blow it up on a regular basis!!

But enough of that!

My point is how much the allotment has helped him - not that he grows anything - he just digs huge great holes on his patch whilst I get time to grow fruit and veg!!!  The good thing is - because "we" have grown it - he eats it!! - or at least he will try it and eats a wider variety than he used to do!

He is adamant that he is going to take over the allotment when I am too do-lally to keep it any more!  (that's  next year then!).

We also keep chickens at home, which I got for him and he absolutely adores!!!  He is very protective of them and would "like hundreds" when he grows up - or we win the lottery!  He would like everyone to be veggie and if he becomes Prime Minister it's going to become law - so watch out!

Personally - I see nothing wrong with discussing him here - he is an allotmenteer also and has made my life anything but boring - and I am d**n proud of him!

Louise

[Kea]

Hi Louise,
I believe the best thing you can do for Autism particularly the less obvious High functioning ones is talk about it, sometimes it's an advantage though in a world of @normal' people they have problems they can also contribute. My son really thinks differently...out of the box....so he solves problems that sometimes other people can't.

Funny you should mention your son likes digging holes that's quite useful sometimes my son is 18 and he still likes digging holes! I put this to good use on Saturday and got him to dig a hole for a Plum tree! He also is very caring with animals and very in tune with their feelings, his school has a large number of rabbits and guinea pigs and before he was a 6th former he spent all his time at the animal shed and working in the school garden.

So joint laxity is what you call it, both my son's have that and as well as being left handed, my oldest son has difficulty writing and gets tired doing it and the youngest...well his writing seems unreadable to me but the teachers seem to manage...and examiners must do as well he gets upset if he gets below 'A'.
The oldest is very accident prone so I suspect has dyspraxia fortunately the bicycle is out of action at the moment after an accident buckled the front wheel I haven't had it fixed I needed a break from the blood.

[Tulipa]

I am enjoying this thread, it is interesting to read other people's experiences, makes me feel better!

My 14 year old has AS too and digging really helps him sometimes.  Also Louise, I can see what you mean about the chickens, my lad adores our cat but of course the cat is a little independent and doesn't always like all the attention!  I have wondered about getting a dog but OH is against it.  My lad doesn't have all that many friends at school and a dog would give him affection without judging him that I think it would help a lot, am working on it!

There is another thread on here about idioms etc too which also has made me smile. :)  Having an AS child has made me see life through new eyes and I find the whole thing fascinating. (Well most of the time!! ;))

T.

[Hyacinth]

I want to come in to say thank you to you all. I've never known anyone with AS but surely one day I will and you've opened my eyes to the condition, too. So, again, many thanks.

(and yes, I'm still smiling at the thought of '4 tbs of water' on your shopping list, Kea :))

[tim]

Great what you learn here?

Without intending flippancy, when I first read the Title I thought it was dialect for Asparagus!

[Kea]

Perhaps you have Asperger's Tim?!

Only joking!

Tulipa, It's really hard when they're that age and they still struggle with making friends. My son has lots of friends now he's a 6th former because at that age being different is cool. However up until then he didn't have many and most of them were girls.

My younger son has grown up very understanding and caring and has a number of friends like his brother that most of his other friends won't have anything to do with.

[louise stella]

Thankyou for your replies!!!

I would recommend chickens to anyone with asd children - they certainly calm him down - and are great fun!

I know what you mean about "thinking outside the box" - it's certainly never dull with him around!

The joint thing...........a lot of Aspergers children have a bit of a melting pot of other things thrown in the mix for good measure!    Dyspraxia is also known as clumsy child syndrome or development co-ordination disorder!  So take you pick!  you will probably see bit of it in their make-up somewhere!

Harry can barely hold a pen, yet alone write with it!  He is using a laptop for more and more lessons!

Why not google famous people with Aspergers!!!(which you couldn't do without Bill Gates)  you'll be surprised! - sometimes I have a theory that it's us who are "disabled" and it's them who have evolved somehow - because in many ways they can leave us so far behind!

louise

[flossy]

  Hello louise,

  I hope you won't mind me coming into your thread, but I really need some help here.

  My little Italian grandson, who has just turned six, has shown some signs of behaviour
  ' problems '  - especialy since he started school.  He is very bright  and lively - his parents
  fill his days with activities and fun as he needs to be ' doing ' all the time.  It was a concern to his
  teachers that he would ' be in a world of his own '  at times and unresponsive.   He had friends
  but was very often treated badly - which would reduce him to tears [ not like him to be emotional ].

  He was behind with reading and writing, would often write backwards - mirror fahion,  he is left handed
  but that was never made an issue, so no pressure there.   He is excellant at taking things apart and putting them back together,  is talented in his piano lessons, want's to help and be involved with
what ever is on the agenda,  gardening - olive gathering - anything !

  He was reluctant to make emotional contact, but we have now formed a close bond and we get
  hugs and have fun.     There is more but I can't  take over this thread .
  My daughter has just mailed me to say that they think he has Dyslexia,  but won't asses him until he is 7yrs.   They have given advice to his parents but I know no more than that.   I fear after reading all you're posts that there  are more problems than this to help him with.

  All I want to do is give him a hug - but he is so far away.

  Thanks for listening,  floss xxx

 
   

[cheerfulness]

Flossy, you last line hit a note with me. My son has been referred as our GP suspects he has AS or some form of autism. At 19yrs old you just feel you want to gather your chick and protect him. Sadly I can't.

Still, it does have its amusing side. He loves sawing so is handy as we have lots of trees and shrubs.  ;)
He loves to cook spaghetti carbonara, but only that. He cooks it so well and would have it every day but sees no need to learn to cook anything else.

We learnt when he was very young that when he goes into rages that if we quickly handed him the cat he would instantly calm and cuddle it, even though he doesn't really cuddle people.

Oh and we learnt to be precise in instructions over the years. Asked him once to wash up the dinnner plates. Went in later and plates were washed and dried in the cupboard but the rest of crockery, cutlery and pans were still sitting on the sides unwashed.  ::)

[Kea]

It's an odd thing, Cheerfulness, but you feel a little 'bereaved' when your child is diagnosed with AS. I bet the teachers never learnt to be precise in their instructions though, it's caused a lot of frustration for me. I better get a cat...quick...he's getting angry with his computer game!

[cheerfulness]

Aww feel for you on the computer front, Kea. We take cover when things aren't going right on screen for him!

Actually I thinking gardening has become quite an outlet for his younger brother as its not so easy on him sometimes. My youngest is very easy going and kind to the older son but it can upset him sometimes.

My mum, husband and I decided to make the large veggie plot last year to give us all an outlet as its so calming to potter, plant and pick. Its a bonus that my youngest has taken an interest in it all.
 I forgot how rarely most kids see a veggie plot and was surprised to see him and my nephew spending ages walking around all the paths we've made between beds and then excitedly gold-digging for tomatoes and beans. ;D

[Kea]

 My youngest is very easy going and kind to the older son but it can upset him sometimes.

 ;D

Snap!

Though I don't think my youngest is in a tolerant mood today, there was another loud outburst from his older brother and i heard him leave his room and slam his brother's door shut so he didn't have to listen.......then he came downstairs looking cross saying he was sick of it!

[cheerfulness]

Ahh bless. I know exactly how he feels.  I've been known to stomp downstairs myself after a 'difficult' session and my husband usually has a cuppa in hand to greet me.

Roll on summer when we can get out into the garden - a turn around the garden usually sets me up a treat after one of his do's.

[louise stella]

Well it's never boring with ASD children !!

We have had a couple of meltdowns today already!

Floss - It's not the end of the world - these children need tons of support - and can be very loving !  They can also be exasperating = in the next second!  I won't offer diagnosis - but I will offer support if you wish to PM me privately!

Thank god for chickens and allotments - my son Harry loves both! 


Louise
XX

[Kea]

He's getting cross with the snow....it closed school just before he got his tech lesson on Friday and he's obsessed with the building of his guitar which is his A level project (which is a good thing).  He's not pleased to see the weather forecast for Tuesday when he has a double tech lesson and the forecast is more heavy snow...it's a wonder the snow can stayed settled around our house with the 'meltdown' going on inside over the weather!