Author Topic: Negative vibes (Read 7556 times)

Deleted · « **on:** March 14, 2005, 09:36:26 »

Spent a good few hours on my plot on Sunday. This week there were more people there - friendly, introducing themselves, with the usual encouraging comments for a newcomer: offers of tea, agreeing I've got a lot of work to do, but saying the soil on my plot is really good and will be worth it in the end.

Then I get Mr Doom & Gloom paying a visit. His comments? - don't know why you've got this plot, it gets waterlogged, you'll never get on top of these tough weeds, good luck to you but you're fighting a losing battle, etc., etc.

It's a large site and I'd been forewarned that there are a odd one or two plot holders that are a pain in the neck. Apparently they are like this with all new plot holders, which puts off a few of the less determined and they never come back. (They'd also like to run the place themselves.)

Even though i was prepared for it, and most people are really nice - its just the odd bad penny - it certainly puts the dampers on things. Particularly when you are on your own that day and wondering if you will ever get the darned weeds sorted anyway.

Has anyone else encountered similar problems on their site?

Tulipa · « **Reply #1 on:** March 14, 2005, 09:42:24 »

I don't have an allotment as I have a huge garden, but I just wanted to say you go for it and show that awful man he's wrong! Just keep thinking of how nice all the other people are and how wonderful it is to have your plot. He is probably worried you are going to do better than him. You show him!!

And read the 'Allotments are heaven on earth' thread, the thoughts on there are encouraging to say the least!

Svea · « **Reply #2 on:** March 14, 2005, 09:50:56 »

yes, people like this appear on our site as well.
we only have 15 plots, but one is occupied by 'the odd couple'

yesterday, when i went to the allotment to do some work, my friend who has the plot right by the entrance said to me that the 'odd woman' had refused entry to him because she didn't believe he had a plot on the site. even though he has the key to the site, and has actually been there for over a year!!!!

after some argument she insisted he try his key in the lock - which of course worked. begrudgingly, she 'allowed' him entry to the site.

when he told me this, i couldn't help but laugh. my friend had missed the performance of 'the odd couple' two weeks ago at the AGM :D

so dawn, yes they exist on other sites, just nod friendly, listen to their 'advice' but make sure it goes out the other ear. ;)
if i feel brave enough, i will actually go to their plot and have them show me round, to see what 'marvellous' job they are doing. kind of letting them have their say so they can shut up for the rest of the year.

some people just have to be right, you know...;)

svea

Deleted · « **Reply #3 on:** March 14, 2005, 10:25:59 »

Thanks a for the encouragement. i think he just got me at a low moment, when i was contempleting the scale of the work left to do. The reaction of the site manager, when he heard him, was 'here he goes again - it's started already has it'.

I'm not usually put off by people like Mr Doom & Gloom, but to say i felt discouraged was an understatement. I usually react by being twice as determined than I was in the first place ('bloody minded' even! - if someone says I can't do something, I'll try to prove them wrong, whatever it is and even if at first riddled with self doubt!). Have decided to be pleasant and friendly, though, whatever.

This website is great for encouragement - I sit reading through the posts and keep thinking ' I must try this, and I must do that..'. Plus the Caribbean guys on my allotment site are nice and easy going, which suits me well! And the women are very friendly.

Will get there in the end (I hope...!)

teresa · « **Reply #4 on:** March 14, 2005, 11:49:58 »

You get them everywhere not just on lotties but then you get the kind hearted ones who leave you plants to help you on your way.
When I had a load of muck delivered did not have enough plastic to cover to protect from the rain someone put a huge piece of lino over it never did find out who did it so kind.
I had a chap laugh as he went past,
Was told I was using too much water,
Someone said you wont grow anything there the tractor use to stand there and yes it was like concreat but not now.
but best one was I turned up a lottie and four men standing alongside my lottie discussing it saw me and moved swifly away. I did laugh.
So I made myself known attended the lottie meetings then they took me seriously. I have no problem now all talk to me as it should be.

busy_lizzie · « **Reply #5 on:** March 14, 2005, 14:06:19 »

Dawn, Please don't be downhearted. Unfortunately you do come across a few odd grumpy old men at Allotment Sites, (I have also had personal experience of them). They are always full of doom and gloom and seem to almost will you to fail. They seem to take a long time to accept a new face. I had this naive thought when first got an allotment that the site would be like one big happy family but there are always a few who are unfriendly, - my husband calls them "cold tetties". Just try to ignore these grumps, they are a dying breed, I think now. Just you go ahead and enjoy your plot and don't be discouraged - you will come across far more friendly and helpful people. :) busy_lizzie

Phin · « **Reply #6 on:** March 14, 2005, 14:08:52 »

Don't worry Dawn! I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who’s had this. I think it happens everywhere.

I met Mr Doom & Gloom this weekend too. The first words out of his mouth were "Working on the flood plain are you? I'd get another plot if I were you, it’ll be under 6” water at first sight of rain". He didn’t like our raised beds either, saying he didn’t think that was really the way to do it. My wife almost burst in to tears – we’d slaved over this plot for 4 months. What made me really cross was that we’d seen him there before when we first started and he’d never said a word about flooding!

Afterward we thought better of it. We'd spoken to so many other people and although some had said it was a bit wet at this end of the site, no one else has said it was half a bad as he made out. We've had loads of encouragement too. We’ll carry on and hope to prove him wrong! (I hope he is wrong....)

Mrs Ava · « **Reply #7 on:** March 14, 2005, 18:48:04 »

Ours is only a small site, and there is one family who completely ignore me, are arrogant and have argued aggresively with other plottie holders, but it is only one family, and we all know what they are like, and we all just laugh at them! I do think some of it is jealousy and worry that you will succeed and grow bumper crops. You always get those who know better, been there, done that and have the t-shirt, well so what! You do it your way, you learn by trial and error and those lovely fresh crunchy veggies will be amazing when harvest time comes, and as you are walking out of the plot with a trug full of crisp lettuce, ripe toms, and juicy cucmbers, you can give Mr Doom and Gloom the 2 fingered salute!

^{rant over}

newchangeling · « **Reply #8 on:** March 14, 2005, 19:57:48 »

It turns out that the old 'uns down my plot have politely kept their doom and gloom to themselves. When I took on the allotment in August I bunged in some held over seed potatoes. Nobody said anything, but I got one or two odd looks. When I started to harvest gorgeous new pots in November, one old timer was very impressed, told me that he and the others had been convinced I would get nothing and said that clearly I could teach them a thing or two!

(I don't know about that, but I can read books pretty d**n well!)

Mostly I have found their advice helpful, but sometimes being much younger and the only girly does mean that their well-intentioned comments can tip into being a bit patronising. I smile and sift - use the advice that seems useful and then ditch the rest.

Don't be discouraged, Dawn, there is always going to be someone somewhere waiting to p*ss on your strawberries (metaphorically, that is) - everyone here is rooting for you (if you'll excuse the pun).

Rose.mary · « **Reply #9 on:** March 14, 2005, 23:02:50 »

Dawn
Don't let it get you down. We all have 'one' and have to deal with them.
Only one on our site(I think) ::)and she has to be next to me. The first time I went on my site I used an old plastic tray, that I found on my plot, to collect all the broken glass in. When I went on site the next day she had tipped all the glass out and claimed the tray saying 'that's mine' I have just had another sample of her spite but I think it best just to ignore her. Funny enough the 2 men who do her digging and hard work are lovely, different again.
Oh well!! I'm a happy little digger and she may accept me eventually and be grateful her neighbour is keeping he weeds under control ??? I just feel lucky to have an allotment, and everyone else has been great.
Rosemary

Deleted · « **Reply #10 on:** March 15, 2005, 08:22:50 »

Thanks for the encouraging words everyne. I guess I'll have to get used to this chap - I think he has a friend too! I'm not easily put off, and usually take no notice of this type of thing - he caught me at a low ebb. Just wait till my veggies come up! Most others on my plot are nice, and that's what matters.

djbrenton · « **Reply #11 on:** March 15, 2005, 08:31:40 »

When I took over my first plots there were many comments about them being 'snided out ' with mares tail. True enough, there's plenty about, but the difference is I don't let it bother me. Some people see the smallest problem as insurmountable, others just get on with things. Your 6 inches underwater will probably turn out to be a bit damper than is ideal, but raised beds will probably take care of it.

In fairness to all the doom and gloom merchants. I guess many sites have plots where there have been many newcomers over the years, all of whom gave up quickly. Often that's only coincidence. When I took over the secretaryship, I did an audit of vacant plots. Of the 15 or so, I deemd 9 as 'unlettable'. They had no buildings and were overgrown ( which at 600 sq yds is daunting ). They had all been rented various times over the years and not really started. Over the last month or two, every single one has been let and I'm now seeing bare earth, paths being laid and buildings going up. It may well be the case that everyone else has given up on your plot, but that's no reason to assume that you won't end up with the best garden on the site. Either that or you'll have the best rice paddies in the area.

ken (69) · « **Reply #12 on:** March 15, 2005, 09:18:22 »

Take no notice, Dawn, water off a ducks back response is best. Last year my allotment neighbour parked his car on the front of my plot, actually on the plot, so I queried it like you do. He replied "We've all got notice to quit, does it matter".So I replied it hasn't done my taters a lot of good all those fumes, how would you like it if I parked on your sweetcorn. He put his face 2 inches from mine and replied....."Just you try it mate". Well, him being 6'12"...I walked away.......raised beds will help in your case and there are always some crops that like it moist.

Deleted · « **Reply #13 on:** March 15, 2005, 09:50:38 »

I'm not sure I'm convinced by his negative comments anyway. The plots near me are looking good, and I'm sure one plot alone wouldn't be affected be the wet - one lady has been beside mine for 15 years and is still going strong, so it can't all be bad. We had a lot of rain recently, and it looks no worse than any other. Yes, OK, the weeds are to be dealt with, and there is a lot of rubbish, but I've seen worse vacant plots. What's funny is that his plot is one of the most unkempt (apart from the few that have been vacant, of course, like mine).

This is before I started:

wardy · « **Reply #14 on:** March 15, 2005, 12:48:50 »

Ken did you spray Glyphos on his sweetcorn then?

johcharly · « **Reply #15 on:** March 15, 2005, 14:59:16 »

Or found a nice place to shove his sweetcorn........ :o

ACE · « **Reply #16 on:** March 15, 2005, 20:20:12 »

Good and bad in all walks of life, just get on with enjoying yourself and ignore them, funnily enough I have never encountered the negative type, but looking like a badas$ biker I don't suppose I ever will. Never look at advice as criticism most times it's well meaning. Also a gentle p!ss take can break the ice.

kitty · « **Reply #17 on:** March 15, 2005, 20:54:02 »

aww!dawn :-*
don't listen to the gloomy ol'b****r..you can always come to this site fer a cuppa tea and a biccy!

when we got our shop -we were visited..one by one..by the 'old stagers'all with varying bits of advicesome good some bad-we are still waiting for the shelves we put up in the first week..to fall down..well,we were assured they would-i may stop waiting-after all its been 11 years now.....
i also remember going up to the local grocers(now defunct)for some milk'and as he eyed me in my work clothes he said
'how long you been here then?
6 months i saidsmiling (despite the fact he'd roundly ignored me at least twice a week)
'o aye....and whaddya do?'
'i'm an artist'
harumph'he said'you wont last!'
theres one thing about negativity..it dont half spur you on! ;D

moonbells · « **Reply #18 on:** March 16, 2005, 12:39:56 »

Augh - don't any of you worry about the doom and gloomers.

If it's damp, then make raised beds. If you've ever looked at the allotment diary of the Saunders in Hampshire, you'll see how flooding can be beaten. They seem to be flooded just about every year.
http://www.saundersallotment.co.uk/September.html
and
http://www.saundersallotment.co.uk/Diary%202003.html

Otherwise, just keep plugging away, and you'll gradually get there.
Best wishes
moonbells

Sarah-b · « **Reply #19 on:** March 16, 2005, 14:57:40 »

Hey Dawn - don't let them get you down!
I bet he'll start warming up once he's seen you down there a few times getting stuck in. Maybe he's just concerned that you have been given a heap of hard work by the council - and he is despondant about that, rather than your efforts.
Listen to advice, but don't be worried about trying things out for yourself - and if it goes wrong, who cares? - just doing it is most of the fun!! I don't think people who are scared of failure can ever become gardeners, can they!!

sb

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Author Topic: Negative vibes (Read 7556 times)