Topic: When partners go away ...

[pumkinlover]

gussy up the bedroom

Really Jeannine- what does that mean ;D ;D ;D

[Jeannine]

It means make it look pretty, flowers, candles etc, oh you are a naughty one I can see that.

XX Jeannine

[brown thumb]

 congratulations to me, more time for the Lotty or for on here ;D i had the best end of the deal :)

[Duke Ellington]

I really enjoy myself when my other half goes away. I love the *me* time. I please myself, treat myself, cook what I want...or don't cook. I love a bit of time to myself ;D

Duke

[Spudbash]

Yes, SamLouise, it does get much easier with experience.  :)

BTW, for anyone really struggling with that 'Does it get easier?' question, there are tons of ideas at www.actionforhappiness.org. It's my second favourite website!  ;D ;D ;D

[1066]

For those who work away a lot (or those who have a partner who works away) or for long periods of time - does/did it ever get any easier?  Not that I anticipate any longer or more frequent trips for my OH but I'm just interested :)

I hate working away, and hopefully I've nearly stopped doing it now. to be honest I'd rather be at home alone than away alone, in a dull hotel, with work, work, work.
Does it get easier? sort of, but it does make the home-coming a treat  ;)  :D  ;D

[brownowl23]

I think its harder on those left at home particularly when there are young kids in the equation.

Im really not looking forward to OH going away next month, partly because I hate it but mostly because its the first time he's been away from the boys and I know no matter how much we talk to them about it and prepare them there will be floods of tears and unsettled bedtimes that I have to deal with, and possibly uunsettled preschool too.


As I say to him its OK for him, he's only got himself to deal with, he doesnt have to deal with the aftermath he leaves behind. 

[Spudbash]

I agree, brownowl, when my twin boys were little, it was tough to be alone with them (and their little sister, who came along three years later) for a few days. I think I'd have managed better at the time, if I'd had more fun things for myself to do.

If you were to ask for my advice, I'd suggest you still have time to plan for next month, so here's an idea. Make two lists: one for the boys, of 'things to do when Daddy goes away' ideas (Only share this with them when he goes, so they don't build up anxiety before he leaves), and one purely for you - some things to look forward to when the little ones are settled in bed and others to do when they're happily occupied for a few minutes. Aim to have lots of ideas so that you can pick and choose according to what's needed at the time. You can then enjoy anticipating the pleasures to come.  ;D

For the boys, maybe make a scrap book to show Daddy when he gets home? Or have some other project to focus on each day? Take some photos and print them out so the boys can tell Daddy the things he's missed?

Just an idea...You'll find your own way according to the needs of the day.  :)

[Obelixx]

You need a positive mind set and to have fun on your own or with friends, family and pets and doing things in your own time.

My OH was sent to Texas for 4 months in 1988.   We got a good holiday out of that - Texas, New Mexico, Grand Canyon Las Vegas (Yuk) and San Francisco but learned not to want to live in the USA.

He worked here for 6 months in 1990 before I moved over too in 1991 and since then has been posted to the UK coming home every other weekend while I was pregnant and then the Netherlands for 2 years, coming home most weekends, when Possum was only 3 months old.  Bit of a shock when he came back as I would forget I had to do a dinner!

Now he just gets the odd night away in Amsterdam for meetings plus at least one 4 day weekend away golfing but I get to go to England with my scientists for English immersion and also to RHS Chelsea.

[SamLouise]

I must say, I do admire those of you who just dig deep and get on with it.  Makes me feel like such a wimp, LOL!

It's been ok actually. I guess for us it's the lead up to him being away that makes us feel so sad.  We chat a couple of times on the phone each day, too. 

Frantic phone call from him last night as he'd lost his wallet and passport! :o By sheer process of elimation we came to the conclusion they must have been left on site and knew they'd be secure but because of the nature of his work, he's not allowed on site without his passport, lol.  Anyway, a colleague went in this morning and found it so all's well.  Restless night over there and over here!

Brownowl sorry to hear of your impending gloom :(  It is tough when they go.  My husband's first proper trip away was three weeks to the USA when our son was 7 and after my husband had pulled away in his car, our son sat on the kerb with his head in his hands and sobbed - which of course set me off too! Do you have many friends and family around as a support system (I was very lucky when our son was younger as my parents, brother and sister were only ten minutes away) Do your twins have little playmates for special afternoons/mornings to give them something to look forward to?

I like Spudbash's post/ideas - thought that was smashing :)

Obbelix, am I reading your post correctly, your husband is away for up to six months or two years at a time but coming home each weekend?  Now that I know I wouldn't like but again, admiration that it works for you!

[Obelixx]

No.  That was some years ago but lasted several years.  He's home now, and I do remember he needs feeding.