Author Topic: Upsetting times (very long post) (Read 7965 times)

mummybunny · « **on:** July 28, 2009, 15:23:35 »

Hi all,

My nan is a real do'er and likes to get on with things on her own. She's 73 and her sister Gweny is 76 nans looked after her for the last 3 years as she lived with her mum who passed away 3 years ago at the ripe old age of 100.

Great nan in the woods as we all called her always said she would like to have a photo of 5 generations of girls. When i had my little girl in 2006 it made her day and we managed to get a photo of us all together. well one week after the photo was taken she passed away. She truly is an inspiration she was doing everything for herself up until she was 96 then her sight went and nan went out and stopped with her making life as comfortable as possible also nans sister Gweny is mentally and physically disabled so nan helped out with her too. She moved in with nan after great nan passed away.

we live in Bristol and Nan lives in Hereford we talk on the phone everyday. Shes such a strong minded woman and likes to get on with things on her own. She had been complaining of not feeling well for a few days and wouldn't accept our offer of going down to help. After a couple more days mum said enough is enough shes coming down to help wether she liked it all not. So we set off i drove her there to stop with her for a few days to help care for gweny so nan could rest. When we got there and walked in it really was a shock she looked awful. A healthy strong fit woman wasn't what greeted us but a frail old lady. I could hardly hold the tears back. we rang the doctor straight away. I'm almost 30 and have never seen my nan ill not once! I stayed for a few hours then had to drive home to pick the boys up from school.

Doctor came and said its a kidney infection gave her a course of tablets to take and said to visit him a week later. I would ring mum everyday and everyday was the same no change was starting to show the signs of confusion totally exhausted she just couldn't sleep. Called another doctor out on the sunday he came checked her over an said there was nothing wrong she was just tired from the kidney infection. Monday came and mum got the doctor out for a home call as she could hardly walk as she was so weak
She refused to eat so she hadn't eaten for almost two weeks. The doctor came out and admitted her to hospital she was running a high fever and as he was her doctor knew exactly what she was like before she fell ill.

i went and stopped with mum to help care for gweny as she needs 24 hr care and cant be left on her own so hospital visits would have been impossible otherwise. Well its all gone down hill from there. Shes now in HDU tubes down her throat as she has phenomena a feeding tube up her nose drips in both hands low blood and sugar counts. They think she has a secondary infection somewhere but cant find it. she doesn't even look like my nan anymore I'm terrified and am trying to be strong for my mum and Auntie. I spent a week in hereford help make arrangements for gweny to go into restbite for a few weeks. Which she is loving. Now I'm back in Bristol we run a family business and the kids are off school. I know shes in the best place but cant help but feel useless. Mums coming home tomorrow shes been there for 2 weeks and is so tired. My auntie lives in Hereford and is visiting everyday even though nan doesn't know when were there. I'll be visiting gweny and nan as often as i can. I just feel like i should be doing more even though i know i cant really do any more!!

Didn't help that they were testing her for swine flu so had her on a side ward for a week not able to do much else test wise as she couldn't be taken around the hospital to various places for the fear of it spreading. Took a week for the results to come back but was given the all clear. The care she was receiving to start with was awful. Thing is she knew it as she was a nurse for 20 years so the odd time that she could say something it would be that they hadn't been to check on her and hadn't provided her with the call button and her room was very dirty at times dirty bedding everywhere as she is now incontinent . My sister is a trained physio so came down and had a few words with the doctor in charge and managed to sort it all out which is why she has now been moved to a different ward. Just purely because they hadn't taken notes about the fact she hadn't eaten for nearly 3 weeks at this point how quick she has gone down hill what she was like previous basically they had no background information even though the previous ward was given it on several occasions. My sister was a star manged to get her on the right oxygen got a dietion involved and made them see sense. she has lost over a stone in 3 weeks. Like i have said she doesnt look like my nan anymore on she opens her eyes and you can just see she is so lost and in so much pain. I just wish i could make it all better :'(

I'm rambling now just feel so lost.

Lucy

betula · « **Reply #1 on:** July 28, 2009, 16:01:59 »

Hi Lucy,big hug to you.You must be feeling very low with all this going on.

Elderly people being fed properly in hospital is an old problem.I am afraid it does come down to the nursing staff.A few years back now my old dad who had had several strokes was always in and out of hospital.My mother quickly realised he was not eating.He was unable to eat alone.Plates were put in front of him and not touched.Mumhad to go in twice a day to feed him.She was not alone in this.She spoke to many other relations who had the same problem.Sorry all you nurses out there but you can only speak as you find.

You really have to push for the right care for elderly people and I am afraid it does rely on you and your family being around.

It is a very difficult time and I really feel for you.I do hope things take a turn for the better x

Tulipa · « **Reply #2 on:** July 28, 2009, 17:02:15 »

Lucy I am thinking of you, this is such a hard time for you and your family. Your Nan is in the best place now, really, as they will be able to spot changes in her now, and hopefully will find the root cause of all this in time. At least she is being fed and hydrated though the drips so shouldn't lose much more weight. It must be so hard to see her like this, I do understand, she has always been so spritely it makes it that much harder for you. The most important thing is to keep yourself well and on top of things at home so that you are there for your Mum to talk to when she needs it and able to go back to your Nan if needed. At least Gweny is being cared for and happy at the moment so some things are under control. Keep talking to us on here, we are all here for you.

Take care and look after yourself,

T.x

lushy86 · « **Reply #3 on:** July 28, 2009, 17:22:03 »

Oh Lucy you poor thing, what a dreadful situation. We had a similar experience to Betula with my nan. She had a stroke and was in hospital. We soon realised she was not being fed, same thing, food put in front of her but she was unable to eat it. We did the same thing and mum went in to feed her. She soon reallised that there were some old ladies who had no relatives to do this for them and ended up helping several. The ward was filthly. An infection spread through the patients and barrier methods were introduced. I'm afraid my poor nan caught the infection and died. However, that was some 8 years ago and I am sure things have improved since then. Your nan is one of the lucky ones, she obviously has a very loving and caring family and you are doing all the right things. As Betula says just keep pushing to get her the care she deserves and Tulipa is right keep yourself well and on top of things so you can be there for mum.

Big hugs to you and your family, keep talking to us

Lushy x

shirlton · « **Reply #4 on:** July 28, 2009, 18:24:11 »

My daughter is a nurse and as you all know she has helped to get my mom the right care plan in place for when she came out of hospital. I relly feel for you concerning your nan and auntie. I would stop worrying about Auntie because hopefully she will get the care she needs.As for your nan, your sister will know more about the system than you do so let her help you. So often we don't understand the medical terms used by the doctors and nurses so its good that you have someone to act on your behalf. I have often spoken to my daughter about the lack of care in hospital and she said that you can only do what you can in the time you have. Very often the nurses are short staffed so they have to choose wether to carry on doing the drug round or clean someone up that has made a mess of themselves. She said that sometimes she has to decide which is the more important to the benefit of all the patients. I do hope that your Nan soon gets well love

thifasmom · « **Reply #5 on:** July 29, 2009, 00:48:25 »

just read this and would like to say I'm sorry to hear your nan is unwell. everyone has already said the right things, so i just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and your family at this time :-* {{{HUG}}}.

1066 · « **Reply #6 on:** July 29, 2009, 07:55:13 »

She sounds like a very special lady Lucy, and hopefully she is now getting the care she needs. Lots of good advice here, so all I can say is that I'm thinking of you at this tough time

Take care
1066

Paulines7 · « **Reply #7 on:** July 29, 2009, 12:13:00 »

Lucy, I hope your Nan gets well quickly and that they find out soon what is wrong with her soon.

A big hug is being sent from me to you. {{{HUG}}} :-*

macmac · « **Reply #8 on:** July 29, 2009, 12:26:12 »

Big {{{hug}} :-* :-* :-*To you Lucy your post made me realise how good my sister-in-law was caring for my mum in law so well and at the end of her life she passed away in her own bed.Like your nan is she was a wonderful woman.I wish you and all your family well at this difficult time :-*

Sinbad7 · « **Reply #9 on:** July 29, 2009, 13:58:18 »

Hope things get better for you and your family soon.

Take care, we are always here for you Lucy.

mummybunny · « **Reply #10 on:** July 29, 2009, 22:23:41 »

Thankyou so much for all your kind words. Really helped get things into perspective getting it all out.

Well mum came back home today she has done all she can its going to be a long time before nan comes out of hospital. They are currently keeping her sedated because she is in tubated. They did try and reduce the oxygen today to see how she got on but her stats started to fall so put her back on. I know she is in the right place and i do understand that some wards in hospitals are understaffed but the ward they put her on before just wasn't suitable for her needs she needed one to one or two to one care which is why they moved her to the high dependency unit. She is currently in a side ward as she became incontinent due to the fact she wasn't eating but now they are tube feeding it seems to have calmed down a bit so they are planning on putting on the main HDU ward tomorrow just so she doesn't feel so isolated. They took bloods again today to try and work out why her platlet count is so low they are also worried about the fact her blood pressure is on the high side.

On a good note mum went to see Gweny today and was happy to find that she has settled in. She is really enjoying herself which makes us all feel better about it being the right choice. They even managed to bath her today as they have the lifts to get her in and out something she hasn't been able to do for years. She has the mental age of a young child so it must be quite scary for her. I'm happy that she has made some friends already and is already taking a keen
interest in all the activities provided.

Fingers crossed i will have some good news to share with you all over the next few days.

Thanks again Lucy x

saddad · « **Reply #11 on:** July 29, 2009, 22:40:44 »

Glad to hear it....
Low platelets can be a bad sign, being linked to immunity but she may just have a low platelet response... (thrombocaetapaenia ?? Sic) If they have no historic numbers it could be a response rather than a cause. I often have ridiculously low counts... haven't quite made single figures yet ... :-\

mummybunny · « **Reply #12 on:** July 29, 2009, 23:05:02 »

I have platelet specific antibodies when i carry a child my body thinks that it shouldn't be there and tries to attack the babies platlets. The condition is called Neonatal alloimmune thrombocytopenia NAIT for short bit of a mouthfull.

Had to go through quite a lot with my boys. Thomas my eldest was the worse affected had a count of 4000 when he was born When it should be in the 250000 range we were really lucky that he didn't have a brain hemorrhage could well have not been such a happy story. He had 3 platlet transfusions within 3 days of being born. After a week in NICU he was fit enough to come home. They are fine once they are born and the body has a chance to make its own platlets.

With Harry i was treated through out my pregnancy twice a week transfusions 8 hrs a time. Hard work but worth every minute. Lillie wasn't affected as i am in what they call the 50/50 group. That's it for me I'm very happy with my 3 beautiful children and Nait gets worse as the anti bodies kick in sooner with every pregnancy.

Its truly amazing what can be done these days. I donated my placenta and i give blood which they are currently tying to find a way to turn off the antibodies doubt I'll see this happening in my life time but hope they can do it in the future.

Lucy x

macmac · « **Reply #13 on:** July 29, 2009, 23:30:09 »

goodnight gweny,gran and lucy sleep tight :-*

lushy86 · « **Reply #14 on:** July 30, 2009, 09:06:11 »

Really pleased to hear Gweny is so settled and happy, thats a big worry lifted for you all and at least the situation is now under control and they are both getting the care they need. Sending good wishes to you all, keep your chin up :-*

Lushy x

mummybunny · « **Reply #15 on:** July 30, 2009, 18:25:53 »

Thanks guys and gals ;D

Update

Nan is now on the main ICU ward was given another bag of platlets today. They are very worried about her blood pressure still not sure whats causing it all!!! Just twiddling our thumbs waiting for the test results. My sister is driving down again tomorrow and stopping the weekend at my Aunties so will know more when she gets back.

Lucy x

shirlton · « **Reply #16 on:** July 30, 2009, 18:48:26 »

You sound a lot more positive than you did so that a good sign. Hope that things keep getting better for you love

mummybunny · « **Reply #17 on:** July 31, 2009, 08:24:20 »

Thanks

Spoke to mum last night there going to be putting in a Tracheostomy today so she can still swallow and eat when the time comes looks like shes is going to be on ICU for 4 wks then about 4wks on another ward to build her strength up.

Lucy x

shirlton · « **Reply #18 on:** July 31, 2009, 08:30:02 »

Good news ;)

1066 · « **Reply #19 on:** July 31, 2009, 08:55:55 »

good to hear things are progressing and that gweny is being well looked after

News:

Author Topic: Upsetting times (very long post) (Read 7965 times)