Sir George was what is called “an Intrepid Explorer”. He had explored almost everywhere else, and now he was exploring the Andes. As he stood on the top of one of the highest peaks he suddenly notice a tiny insect-like creature of a type he had never seen before, and picked it up and put it in a matchbox, and took it back to camp with him. He forgot about it for several days, and it was only when he had descended to the rain forest that he remembered it, and opened the matchbox; the creature had increased in size until it filled the matchbox, so he put it into an empty coffee jar with a few leaves for food, and forgot about it again.
When he reached the coast and was waiting for the ship home Sir George looked at the coffee jar again. To his horror he saw that the creature now filled the coffee jar completely, so he emptied it into a plastic bucket with a pile of leaves, punched a few holes in the lid, and put it with his luggage. He looked at it again on the boat; it now filled the bucket, but the Purser was able to find him a much larger lidded container into which he put it. When he docked in Southampton he found the creature now filled the container. Without further ado he caught the first train to London (with the container) and went straight to the Natural History Museum. The Curator couldn`t identify the creature, but immediately telephoned several scientific colleagues who (with Sir George`s permission) took the creature away for observation.
Two weeks passed, then Sir George received a message saying “We know what it is, and you`d better come round here as soon as possible”. Sir George went to the address given and was shown his creature. It was now the size of a large house, and enclosed in an enormous steel cage. The scientists told him “It normally lives on mountain tops where it stays tiny because of the rarified atmosphere, so it`s called a Rary, but now it has been brought down to near sea level it doubles in size every few days. We estimate that in another seven weeks it will be bigger than London. We simply must destroy it.” Sir George reluctantly agreed, but a few days later he was called again to see the scientists. This time they told him “We`ve tried every known poison, we`ve fired bullets at it, and we`ve even had the Army try firing depleted uranium armour piercing shells at it, but nothing works. There`s only one way to kill it. We`ve calculated that if it were taken to the top of Everest and pushed off it would smash to smithereens when it reached the bottom. As this is now a national emergency the Government have agreed to supply everything you need to carry this out.”
Two days later the world`s largest nuclear powered aircraft carrier was racing towards India carrying Sir George and his party, and the creature – now the size of several mansions – while the crew build another cage large enough to last the creature for several days growth. Fleets of the world`s largest helicopters stood ready at intervals along the route to Everest, and as soon as the aircraft carrier docked the cage was air-lifted by fleets of a dozen helicopters at a time, until it finally arrived on the top of Everest. The lifting cables were then adjusted so that the helicopters could tilt the cage and slide the Rary out as soon as Sir George had removed the enormous padlock.
As he inserted the key in the lock Sir George heard a faint humming noise. He listened carefully; it was the Rary, and he could just make out the tune it was humming……..
“It`s a long way to Tipperary………”
