Topic: The Chatroom

[Garden Manager]

Just a quick survey

A) What do you think we should use the chatroom for?

B) Do you use it and when

C) Do you think there should be some behavior groundrules/ chatroom etiquette established. like dont make anyone feel unwelcome. Dont tease newbies.  Dont set up cliques to the exclusion of others. Dont gang up on members of the opposite gender who arein the minority.

Things like that. ;D  ;D

[SueT]

Hi Richard, I go to the chat room just for an idle natter, I wouldn`t want to torment any newbies and I certainly wouldn`t tease any members of the opposite sex! Never ever,cross my heart   ;D

[Carol]

Hi Richard,  I think the Chat Room works very well.  I noticed you on tonight and I am sure you were welcomed, although you didn't say very much.  We are polite both to male and females and especially welcome to any new names.  
I know I come on late about 10pm and join in the 'chat' straight away once I pick up whats going on.  Maybe we don't talk about gardening but we  cover lots of other interesting subjects.  We encourage and advise each other if we are down in the dumps, which has happened this past few weeks I have been in the room and I think it is a good thing.  We don't give out personal details of our address or anything like that in case of weirdo's.   I think for some 'lonely' folk out there it is a good uplift to maybe an otherwise dull day.  so there is my opinion.  
We are doing no harm and would like to see more just drop in for a chat.  

[Mrs Ava]

I don't really think rules are necessary.  Dan already has a few groundrules laid out.  We are all adults, when I have been in the room I have been made to feel welcome, involved in the conservation, and had a great time.  The room seems to be used by a regular gang, and I don't believe any of them would be so disrepectful to others, and if someone came in and was out of line, I know they would be told to watch it and behave.  If you start making rules, I think people will be less inclined to go in and just chat.  It is a chat room, so use it to chat!

[ava_banana]

A) What do you think we should use the chatroom for?

......errrmm..........fun, frolics and generally whatever we want to use it for (as long as a certain amount of etiquette is observed)....

B) Do you use it and when

Yes, every now and then......will do more, now we have broadband ;D

C) Do you think there should be some behavior groundrules

Yes, to a certain extent........however, I feel these kind of things are usually OK as "self-moderated"......we are all fairly "nice" people.......if there are problems or difficulties, they can be taken to Personal Messages.......

........Why........

........did you want to do something specific on there...?

[budgiebreeder]

What ever is your problem Richard F.
A.The chat room is for Chat and that is just what it is used for.
B.Quiet a number of people use it on a regular basis without forming Cliques as you put it,because perhaps they are not as fortunate as others and cant get out of the house for various reasons.Others live alone and have no one to speak to all day .Try to give a thought to others less fortunate than yourself.
C.When I have been in the Chatroom eeveryone who enters has been spoken to as they come in.It is then up to the individual to add to a conversation.

[Garden Manager]

I ask these things because of my own experience.
I only manage to get on there late at night and have found that it is lways the same people talking about the samethings, not things I want to talk about.  It is boring and I dont feel welcome.

I would rather talk gardening, and other sensible subjects, not frivolous ones. This is after all what this site is all about.

Also there are certain people (I wont name names), who cant help making fun of me and generaly making me feel uncomfortable.

Sorry to moan, but its the experience i have had so far. :(

[Muddy_Boots]

Richard,

As one of those who were in chat on the night you mention may I just say that BBs points are very valid.  There are many of us who have extremely difficult times lately.  I appreciate that you may be unaware of this.  The late night chat is a way of us all to relieve the tensions and chat with a variety of people.  If it gets frivolous the so much the better.  It helps to take our minds off the problems that we have to face during the day.

I would like to point out that some of your first remarks when you came online were quite critical of the conversation that had been going for quite some time before you arrived.  Chat is just that, gardening is discussed along with many other subjects.  I feel it is a little sad that you feel it would be better to regiment the chat site into an exclusive, serious gardening discussion site.  I think that goes against the spirit of chat which is a forum where people get to know each other and offer support and company.

On other occasions when I have joined in chat, the males present, either alone or when others are there, often get teased and give as good as they get.  It's akin to a social gathering and gives a lot of pleasure.  Everyone is welcomed without fail.  Perhaps if you approached it with a little less dogmatism of what you think it should be like, you may find you begin to enjoy it more.  Alternative, if you want more serious discussions, perhaps some of the other sites mentioned might be more suitable for you.

Please try again, we all friendly and, contrary to your first experience, don't bite!

Best wishes

Kate

[rdak]

Richard,
I don't use the Chat room myself but you can't stop people talking about non gardening subjects (unless Dan wants to police it 24 hours a day!). If it's boring then simply don't use it.
Can't comment re: people making you feel uncomfortable -I've always found people here friendly, but then I've never used the Chat. It's often difficult to tell when people are joking or being sarcastic without hearing their voice, so perhaps people have been misinterpreted, maybe?

[eileen]

;D Hi Richard,

I used the chatroom for the first time a couple of nights ago and everyone made me feel welcome right from the start. As a 'newbie' to chatrooms I found it quite confusing at first, after all you are entering into an ongoing conversation, but soon got the hang of it.
As my husband is away all week and I cannot get out (you know the reasons why, don't you?) I found it light-hearted and fun.  :D
I'm sure there are times when more serious subjects are   discussed and I would enjoy joining in on them too when they occur.  :) I'm sure the banter was nothing personal. We females do it to each other all the time and we don't take offence, thank goodness.

I simply go in there with an open mind and waffle away!

I hope you'll give it another go Richard. I know I will from time to time. Maybe you and I could have a little chat on gardening or somesuch one night?


'Speak' soon, Eileen. :-* :-*
 

[Mrs Ava]

Oh Richard, please lighten up!  Isn't life just tooooo serious to want to talk about it all the time!  Yes, we all love the garden and our allotments, but do we really want to talk about them all the time?  I am sure as the seasons progress we will chat more and more about whats growing, but it is winter, there is nothing going on on our plots so we are all just chewing the fat.  It is a place to relax, to chill and chat to chums about anything and everything.  Just go with the flow Richard, and if you don't like the topic of conversation, wander off and try again later, or  say for goodness sakes.

[RSJK]

Well l got on to the chat room about 2 weeks ago, and it is one of the best things that l have done,l have made so many new friends, l was made to feel welcome right from the start, l take no offence to what is said to me and hope that no one takes offence to what l say to them.  I try not to be rude to people and l have never found anyone in the chat room to be rude to me.If you do find someone to be offensive to you Richard you could always send them a private message to let them know your feelings.  I am very sorry you have found cause to complain about the room, and like others on this site l am sure the chat will change to lottie matters more when we are producing results from are efforts on the lotties, until then chill man and enjoy.  :D  ;)

[mysticmog]

Maybe you need to go out on the pull, get some lurvin, cos you seem v uptight R, everyone is SOOOO fluffy and nice and friendly, tis like no other chat room I've ever known...

The chat room is for chatting, if you wanna talk gardening, post in the gardening bits...

If this seems a little harsh, it's cos I think you're being mardy, and I hate mardy (except maybe the rather nice town in Wales).
:D

[cleo]

After shovelling far too much cow poo for one of my advancing years I confess to not having read all the replies.

Chat is unmoderated-enter at your peril and if it not to one`s taste on a particular evening then leave.

Oh and just one thing I do know-if you get offended do not drag in the site boss-they offer this service and we keep the house be it orderly or not.

Stephan

[ciaozzy]

Yo Peeps

This is wot I love about Richard or RICKY :) Tell yawl Richard can do this dead well and can wind peeps up that he has it down to an art.. but still you bite.. and I am sorry but it is funny.. and some of the things Richard sez hase spitting in me cider it does..

btw I cant use chatroom at te mo, till new puter arrives.. and
then I will be doing some serious babble.... can talk the hind legs of a legless donkey on
acid I can... mares well have a babble on me mates thread,,, well busy busy busy busy bzzzz-
-zzzzeeeeee..

starting worky part timey and volunteery full timey as volunteery places me in the best position for the dead well paid jobbo that will be available in June and I already has a head start cuz know the peeps.. part time jobby is car valetting nit compliment me yin and yang thang cuz I can "wax on" and then wax off" and soon I ca be "painting the fence" tel yawl love this yin yang thang and me balance is
mental and me Qi is flowing like
it has never flowed b4.. so good to go with the flow.. so good I iz gonna turn me tap on.. just for a craic like....  se peeps you can turn this thread around to whatever you like....

doodle doo deee doooo ba nammmah

That is kpaxian for never let your oranges out of sight when the moon is dancing in the sunshine....

definate babble alert

Oz

xxxxx

[legless]

i think the chat facility was provided for 'off topic' chats, on other forums i use this is the case. its just a conversation and any topics can come up but its probably not very likely to get in depth into gardening because (in my opinion) posting on the forum is better for that as you'd reach more people and get considered responses.

i'm sorry if you were made to feel unwelcome, i always feel awkward when i go into a chat that people are already well into but you just have to dive in, no-one minds and thats the way it works.

i think its brilliant simply because we can talk about anything and everything with other people here, you can't moderate it, it wouldn't work and moderation is only really relevant if chat is dangerous or offensive, i haven't seen any evidence of that but you may have.

sad to say, i don't get out much, being a fairly recent import to teh north east i don't have many friends in the real world, and the chat room is, for me, an easy, no pressure way to socialise at the end of the day.

i hope you give it another go.

[Garden Manager]

I think I ought to be a little thicker skinned and not take things too seriously. (a character flaw i am afraid)

My earlier comments were perhaps a litle hasty and perhaps not thought through.

At the time I tried out the chatroom i found the experience a little unfamiliar and not what I had expected. I have also been going through a difficult time lately, but instead of beinf light hearted and frivolous, i i got a little wound up and angry. I am sorry. I will try again and this time 'lighten up' a bit. I do like the idea of a chatroom and being able to relax amoungst like minded people.

Pehaps i should endeavor to get on at diferent times when there is a different mix of people on there. ;)

[cleo]

It`s these bloody land girls-they know a dibber from a twig ;D

Sorry just being frivolous-and so is chat.

[Muddy_Boots]

Richard,

Not necessarily a different time.  We don't know what has happened in your life recently so forgive if we appear too uncaring.  We are not.  Anger I well understand, have had a lot of that during the last three years and some of it is still there but chat is a way of diminshing it by talking rubbish or sense, whatever the thread encourages.

Persevere, don't be worried about being the only male in chat, just flirt a little.  You'll be surprised at how much more you will feel at ease. :)

Kate

[busy_lizzie]

Hi, It sounds to me as though you need a big hug Richard.  I can't imagine anyone from these boards being unfriendly but sometimes if you have issues and sorrows in your life it is easy to pick things up wrongly.  I have done it myself many times.

I have been in the chat room a couple of times myself but have hung round and skulked in a corner (metaphorically) just listening to other people, mainly because I am a bit inexperienced in chat rooms, but the conversations seemed very lighthearted and friendly.  Hope you give it another go.  I am going to pop in and make my presence felt soon, my husband did the other night, and he seemed to have a whale of a time, though generally he is the extrovert in the family.  Be of good cheer!  :D busy_lizzie