Allotments 4 All

Withdrawn due to Stage Fright of all cast members....... ::) I'll let you down in a min Delilah...... ;D ;)

Stage Fright......never.................................Bah Humbug more like ;)

Lets try again!

Cinderella

Directed by Wardy (you'll get everyone organised won't you Wardy ;))

I'll do costumes!

Who shall we cast as the Ugly Sisters then Lottie? ;D

Well with Tims prowess perhaps he could provide the pumpkin!

Flippin eck Ms Underpants Plan - give us a chance. Comedic genius doesn't fall out of the sky y'know...I've been thinking about a witty response to this thread all day...and here it is:

I've got a big part for Svea if she's interested...

(sheer genius)

I want to play the sofa.

He's behind you!

Sorry...she says hanging her head in shame.....it's just the sheer stress and pressure of such a massive producion, Lovies.....
Ugly Sisters.....mmm....thanks for that, Delilah...am sooo glaring at you!! Well, one has to be Aiken.. ;D and I think Max for the other, may keep him out of mischief and reduce running abliltiy.....begsy do make up and hair removal... ;D ;D ;D
You're the fairy Delilah!! Have all the wires and everything!! You'll be fine cos I'll be hanging on the other end and whirling you about in a wafty manner.....
Ady, you're the genie!! So want to see you in those slippers!

I am so chuffed - I want to see me in some curly slippers to.  I am sure I can make loads of jokes about things pointing at the ceiling.  I can be camp too if that is what the director demands.

I didn't mean you for an ugly Lottie - was just asking you a question, don't be so sensitive girl!!!!

Would only have to use pink hair dye on Max - no wigs needed there .......................but might need to purchase bright purple wig for aiken!!!!

Ady as the Genie - Pure Genius - but didn't think there was a Genie in cinders!!!!!!!!!

Can't do Fairy I'm afraid - definately backstage for me!!!!!!!

Who's for Prince Charming? ;D

Can I conduct the Orchestra please?

Can't read music...tone deaf ...but I wave a mean stick about...plenty of 8' canes down the lottie I could use.  ;D

Derek

Erm, Delilah....tugging sleeve....didn't think you did mean me..... ::) ::) ::) And Ady, slppers and silk, I feel, and you can even hold my little shiny cup for a prop.....lots of gesticulating, and moustache twirling, inuendo and big, big eye make up!! Pointing and hurrahing, must paractice those dance steps though....here...try the pole...... ;D ;D
And if this is real panto, then we need a gal in boots for Prince charming....have been pondering....mm.......Lorna!!! Yup Lorna....
Derek, sorted!

Just Buttons, the Fairy and Cinders left to cast then :)

Quote from: terrace max on December 21, 2005, 18:23:28
I've been thinking all day about a witty response to this thread all day...and here it is:

I've got a big part for Svea if she's interested...

(sheer genius)

Oooo fnarr fnarr

I thank you (bows)

< ... How come I went from being Miss Cheviots too an Ugly Sister ?  ... ponders the implications of this sudden re-casting decision  ...    ???

P.S. and what are my lines ?  Oh !  I see, those ones set up on the mirror on the coffee table ?  gosh phankx !   *whistles innocently*

Pssst, Max...you're supposed to curtsey... ::)
Well I want a genie!! Have got all excited bout seeing Ady in curly slippers now! Cinderella...mm.....think there's only one person for this job really.....oh Jags.....come out, come out where ever you are.. ;D ;D ;D Here, try the slipper, is only clingfilm on cardbord at the min, but it's a work in progress....the fairy ......mm .....need input on this one......
Aiken, your wigs wonky.....

u_p and you've got a big phat  .....  heart   :P

And you have a big, huge........bubble bath!! ;D ;)

Well, it's had a few nicknames over the years  ... but surprised it's reached Suphuk  ... I'm trying to live it down these days  *sighs*

Hang about you lot. I have been without computer since 9pm last night (Long story) and it is taking me all my time to catch up on posts. No computer for 23hours any one got any valium :'( In view of the above can I have more time to rehearse please? I bet you all thought I had been quiet for a change

Lorna, yup, have access to loadza "Mother's Little Helpers"  I'm talking about the "Stones" track of course  .... why is my k/board doing all the talking for me, when I'm lying down in bed suffering from  ... well ..being an Ugly Sister ?  *hugz*     {:¬)#

Lottie can't post in this thread. What has she done?????

Hello? She says tentatively peering round the door........

OK, just got booted again!! It seems to occur when I thwack Max for calling me UNDERPANTS...most strange...and mentioning Aiken probably playing the part more convincingy vertical, or it could be mentionng the curliness of Ady's slippers.....OK...eyes shut, visor down...and....

 ???

Who's principal boy ? Cos they'll need to practice hard on the old thigh slapping ;D

Sorry - popped out for an end of term bevvy - back now for rehearsals duck -now what would you like me to do... ooh er!

who is gonna play the fairy godmother ?  And do we have a part for Russ ?

Has lottie been cast yet dear?  Surely she would be by far the best principle boy.  I'd like to see her slap her thigh.  Yes I would, ahem!  With lotties thighs and me pointing at the ceiling I think the boys will be happy. 

Ady I take it you had a good few bevvys last night, are you taking advantage before the New Year comes in then?

Can't wait to see Ady do 'camp' ;D

Been busy all night making costumes............................just need inside leg measurements please boys................made a spangly little coat for Russ ;)

Whos the Fairy then .......................any volunteers.............Cinders and Buttons still to be cast!

And will need script to be re-written to include a Genie in Cinderella coz Lotties insists ::)

35" - back to the sowing machine Delilo  ;D

do hope thats inches Max cos we're not doing snow White this year ;)

chest measurements also - bearing inmind you will need extra padding for your role Max ;D

and would you prefer gold or pink false eye lashes ;D

34 leg 46 chest - I haven't got a part, I obviously didn't do too well on the casting couch (sofa), but can I get dressed up anyway ?

Byu the way if I post anything tonight it may be best just to ignore it, office party today wahaay

Buttons Reedos ? - think you would suit it well :D

Hope you enjoy the office party ;D

Buttons excellent I can do that....

Audience "Oh no you can't"

etc etc ;D ;D

Quote from: redclanger on December 21, 2005, 23:53:48
Has lottie been cast yet dear?  Surely she would be by far the best principle boy.  I'd like to see her slap her thigh.  Yes I would, ahem!  With lotties thighs and me pointing at the ceiling I think the boys will be happy. 

I think we would need pictures though, just to verify that it was genuine panto thigh slapping.

Any volunteers to take the photos?

MikeB

Erm......nope, can't say that.....er....scratches head........er....not that either....well what I want to say, involves Ady's pointing skills and the likelihood of pic of me thigh slapping..........

If I'm an Ugly Sister  ... do I get to beat the cr*p outa Cinderella ?   :P

 ;D ;D ;D ;D.....who's Cinderella  ???....Before I answer that......though don't see it in the script anywhere......"Ugly sister enters stage left and beats the crap out of Cinderella....."

but...but...but ... they were allways REALLY mean to her and did horrible things to her, it's says it in the book !  :(

How about...."Ugly sister enters stage left, has violent thoughts about Cinderella, but controls herself......" ::)

*stamps foot*

Don't worry UCP I will poke him with my stick (Baton) if he steps out of line...I may have to stand on a box to reach him though.

By the way who's in my Orchestra? I could double up with a paper and comb if all else fails!!!

Derek

Erm....well I'll have a stab with the recorder....piano if really, really desperate....OK, who's got musical talent, please!!
Aiken, stamping just isn't going to do it, hysterical tears and a tenner  may...

Last attempt,  "Ugly sister enters stage right, throws brick at Cinderella, apologises, promises to reform and has a pint...?"

enter the genie....ooh yes please  ;D

Shall I bring my organ??

Crikey stabbing, stamping offers to bring an organ....if its THAT sort of panto can I be one of the horses in front of the carraige....OOooooooooo all that whipping...... ;) ::)

Quote from: Icyberjunkie on December 22, 2005, 14:51:29
OOooooooooo all that whipping...... ;) ::)

Then can we have the thigh slapping

 ;D ;D ;D OK, OK...I'll slap me thighs.... ::)
Think we've found our rogue.....Hey Icy..... ;D Right, big hat, long black cloak, lots of moustache twirling and bombing round the stage after Cinders, erm....I'm getting confused......Aha!! No I'm not....you're the evil step mum Icy.....keep the moustache though....but here's your dress....
Bring your Organ, Lorna....more intruments needed, so far we have paper and comb, recorder, triangle and piano.....Ooo I can play the flute!! Forgot... ::)
Who's Cinders? ???

No offers for Cinders - think you will have to cast her Lottie ;D

I play piano if that helps :)

Now I won't bring organ (stamps feet) just cos I only play with two fingers the piano expert is going to take over. Shall I sulk? Nah not in my nature. I know I make a mean cuppa so have volunteered for kitchen duties.

Who's got a drum...we do need a drum(s)...and cymbals for when there's a crash of thunder or someone falls over.

Someone is bound to fall over...probably the conductor off his box!

What about fire works for when the Genie appears? Do we have a budding pyrotechnic genius amongst us

Derek

  Well the genies arrived...where do I stand...? cos no ones rubbing my wick
  I sooo hate the outfit though...turbans coming apart at the seams...these
  trousers are cutting me like a knife and bloody see through shoes in
  December...I soooo  want a handbag like that big ugly sister aiken...oh n
  by the way derek he has the drum ( ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D) Ohhhhhhh yeeeees he
  has.....sooooo who did costume design...???...come out n show your face
  I used to play zylaphone  derek...no much good though am never gonna
  get out this lamp...it sooooo needs a rubbin...sound proofed as well !!!!!
  Oi .......you lot......don't bugger off without me to pub after rehersals ;D ;D ;D

Oh dear, I've just been booted again!! Am going down the pub......wanders off dramatically..

  I f you let me outta this lamp....I will stand you for a pint ...!!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D

   Not much in the way of pockets in this outfit  ;D ;D ;D ;D

There are sooo many answers to your first reply...and before I get booted again, Your Cinders!!! Whehay!! Would give you drum roll, but lost me drum....
Right, first rehearsal at 8, lines learnt, swords polished, wigs straight..ish.....someone get Aiken..... ::)
Had to have Ady as genie, he's so smiling at those slippers....could they be any curlier, I wonder....

There you go Jags - it's my wick that's going to be pulled whilst they are rubbing my spout.  Mind you don't trip over my curly wurlies. They shouldn't be hanging down that far - I shall get them trimmed at the first opportunity.  Now, what am I going to do with this sausage probe I found in a kitchen in Bolsover?

wax pot at the ready Ady ;D

:o :o :o
Delilah, put the poor man down and your wax spreaders back in the pot.....his slippers have gone all limp now!!
Erm......worriedly biting her knuckles....script?

We have a xylaphone, a drum we are getting there...

Hey! someone's pinched my box....  I nipped out for a Jimmy Riddle, two minutes, and me box has gone.

How am I expected to conduct when I can't see the orchestra?

Derek

Do I have to do everything.....................waxing, costume design, box retrieving.........................................here it is Derek typical man, twas starring you straight in the face and script writing too.................... ;) ;D

I wish to complain. Ady's dressing room is CLEARLY bigger than mine...

Max, have you seen the size of his slippers.... ;D
Dalilah....er...if you really want to remove all hair from cast members feel free, pet.......but ain't getting that stuff near me.....!! Had a bad experince..... ::)

Never mind all tha bickering!  I mean I have to be the wicked godmother or whatever and my dress is way to small,  I walked into the dressing rom and I'm shoooooooor it was a mop cupboard beforeand someone even left a box and a drum in there.  I know cos I fell over them....got bruised shins now.

If I'm head of the family I should at least have a big room especially as I'll havce to practice so hard at being nasty instead of nice all the time.  SO SHUT UP WIV THE BICKERING OR I'LL SEND YOU DOWN THE MINES...ALRIGHT!!!!!!     >:(


......AND WHERE ARE MY DARN LINES!!!!!!!

Iain

   Here was me thinking he needed the bigger dressing room.....you seen
   the size of his arse in that dress....!!!!!! ::) ::) ::)....and I am sooooo
   stamping my foot...got relieved of my duties lost me bloody lamp...
   if they send me down the mines...will be lost without me lamp :'( :'( :'( :'(
   I soooooooooo hate the dark !!!!!!! :o :o :o :o

  I can't be cinders.....4 day stubble here...they don't do glass slippers size 14
  my hairs a ness...mind you I disagree is not as big as icys  might have to snaffle
  his cob boots though...need to keep a space down my fishnets for a wee half bottle and these white lace knickers are diggin in.....would you lot mind if I
  just sat in front row and threw rotten veg at you all...???? ;D ;D ;D ;D

Can I have two dozen warm white towels please and two cases of Evian?  Now!!!

That's it ! Get me my agent! I resign!

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!  Get her!!!!!

Right!! Am roaring, in a gentke kitten like manner... ::) Jags go see Delilah...you asked for it.. ;D here's a torch..
.Ady.....just.... ;D ;D ;D ;D,
Max...no you don't!!!
OK and script....script will be ready in approx 4 glasses of wine time..now geet down the pub and would someone please pick up Aiken!!!
Strolls out of the room, whilst tripping over Derek's blessed box!! If I get booted, I'll...I'l......Ooooo!

Could you put this in the script for me love?

Three blondes were stranded on a small island. As they were walking down the beach, they found a lamp. On the side it said, "Rub here for three wishes."

As it was getting dark, and there was little in the way of shelter, they decided to rub the lamp, and out popped a Genie: "I will give each of you one wish."

The first blonde wishes to become a brunette. She then swims across the lake.

The second blonde wishes to become a red head. She gets in a boat and rows across the lake.

The third blonde wishes to be a man. He walked across the bridge.

;D

< .... tries on his/her costume  .. "Does my bum look big in this ?"

RC...You are pushing your luck sunshine when the ladies see that....funny though...

You will be thrown down in the orchestra pit with me...Its OK there's a brew waiting in the corner

Derek

oh my god! i seem to have missed all preparations for the panto!
so i reckon i will sit in the first row (in the audience) with my lovely basket of freshly rotten eggs and tomatos ;D

when does the show start? i havent got all day

You realise you will have to do all the booing and shouting out 'he's behind you' no slackers in this panto

i can multitask, mike! ;D

I guess you're female then, I've often wondred what it's like (multitasking I mean), sigh.....

Overrated... ;)

it's quite tiring, actually.

and boooooooooohhhh, max :P

Got it!! She says pelting in, Derek, move that b***y Box!!!
Aiken, your bum looks soooo big that I think it has it's own atmoshere.... ::) ;)
Ady...thwack....in a puppy like manner..... :-*
OK, here it is the script

          CINDERELLA

Enter evil step mum and 2 ugly sister...

Ugly sister 1 - you're ugly
Ugly sister 2 - no, you're ugly
Step mum - You're both ugly...
Enter Cinderalla
Step mum - You're not ugly
Ugly sister 2  thwack Cinderella over the head with a brick.... ::)
Cinderella - ouch
Enter Genie
genie - Hey Cinders, babe, give me a rub and I'll give you your wish...
Enter Prince Charming
Prince Charming - Hey, you gorgeous chunk of womanhood, I'm having a ball
fancy a good time?
Cinderella - Ooo yup please
Lots of dancing and thigh slapping
Cinderella- Ooops!! Gotta dash
Prince Charming - I'll find you
Cinderella - O no I've dropped my cling film slipper!!
Prince Charming - No probs, I've got it!! Look it fits!! Fancy a shag?

         More thigh slapping and general merriment.........

                             The End!

Right, I'm off back to the pub.....

at 11:30am?? woman, it's a bit ealry, aint it?

so, who is cinderella, who is prince charming, and will redclanger get rubbed up the wrong way? all very intregueing

QuotePrince Charming - No probs, I've got it!! Look it fits!! Fancy a shag?

One for all the family then Lotster!!! ;D

Nope Svea!! ;D ;D ;D
Took me hours, that line....my poor little furrowed brow all wrinkled in concentration....

Hey UCP...So what songs are we playing/singing then?

Its all very well writing a few lines for the actors then sloping off to the pub...when do I get to wave me stick?????

Derek

and what happened to the whipping...and isn't there a pumkin somewhere?

...and how am I sposed to get all the way out of the broom cupboard to the stage to say a near first line in time....and have you thought about Svea?  She could bring her guns to keep things under control....seems a bit rowdy in that orchestra pit?  sure aintg tea brewing in the corner.......is that poteen?????

and, and, and...........

Love the script, a no speaking part for Buttons, which is just as well cos can barely talk at all today. Derek stop playing them drums in my head.

Lottie - get me a lager I'll be round in a minute, a bit hair of the dog might sort me out.

These temperamental impresario's do get carried away with them selves...what about the workers.

I shall have to brew up again...want a sticky bun Ice?

Derek

Right, come on Reedos....down the pub, whilst I rustle up whipping for Icy, score for Derek, lines for Buttons and pumpkins for Svea to hurl....
Enters tavern wearily....."  1 pint and 6 tequila slammers, please...."  ;D

What time is the mat in hay then

< ... I've just had a phonecall from the local Health and Safety Executive  ....Lottie has been declared a definite health risk ... they've cancelled the Panto ... and Toby Blair apparently doesn't approve of the word Pants  .....

N.B. That wasn't a mispelling btw  :P

They can't do that, my public'll be devastated >:(

Lottie, I'll get them in while you start the petition. Another jug of tequila ? And can you remember where I parked the pumpkin ???

Public,  did you say public!!!   LOTTIE!!!!!  What have you done!   I thought you said pubic were coming!   <sulk>  going to have to throw out that waxing kit now....  anyone want a Christmas present......{GG}

oh,  can someone taceh lottie to tpye wivout mkanig erorrs liek wot the rset of us do.. ;)  or she is to drunk already?????  Can't be doing with this wax thing  <mutter mutter> oh and another G&T please daaalling   :P

I seem to be the only refined person in all this. However, now I am seething!!! I gave up a lovely part in the panto so that I could be a kitchen worker and keep you all supplied with tea and currant buns. What do I find after me sweating over a boiling kettle Derek has the audacity to say there is a brew in the orchestra pit. I have sent a letter of complaint to the Actors Union.

Quite right Lorna. Disgraceful. And where is our so-called leader? In the boozer!!

But Lorna...I am entitled...I am a fully paid up member of the OPTMUSiC (Orchestra Pit Tea Makers Union Select(ion) Committee)

One lump or two  ;)  ;D

There's a chocolate eclair going spare.

Derek

Hic....hellooooo all...hic! Come up with one song....."I've got a lovely pair of coconuts..." am so chuffed...
Hey Lorna!! How's it going?!!? Hic...Ooops dropped me thingy, be back in bit.....bit thirsty..... ;D

will somebody please rub my spout - I am stuck and cannot get out!!!!!

Ooh poor Clang.  Rub rub, there you are dear  :)

Hi everyone.  How is it going in panto land?  Sorry been unable to join in as have been having real life panto of my own.  Have lost an  8 foot Crimble tree and burned my old mans' beer coupons.  Bum bum  ;D

What time does the curtain go up on this fiasc, er fine feast of hentertainment?  Lots, Lottie!  You there dear?  Looks behind curtain.  Blimey like the Marie Celeste behind ere.  Who's are all these guns and handcuffs?  Oh look a footspa and the bubbles are still warm.  How strange.  Cooee,... anybody there?  Hellllllloooooooooooo

Right, Ive done it...no really...I have... ::) The swaying is just to get the rhythm right...

        Cinderella Take 2 (better blessed well stop there..)

Enter Buttons carrying two pumkins, singing I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts....trips and hurls them for Svea to catch ready for heckling..
Enter wicked step mother with large whip. ::) and both ugly sisters..
Step mum singing " I did it My Way...
Ugly sister 1 - Where's me beer?
Ugly sister 2 - You have a huge butt
Enter Cinderella
Ugly sister 1 hurls keg of beer at Cinders, then runs to retireve in a panicky manner
Having returned from A & E......Cinderella, Centre stage sings Shut uppa Your Face...
Enter Priince Charming
Prince Charming - Hey Toots....Mmmm nice tache you have there..
Cinderella giggles in a coquetish manner ( you may have to practice this Jags.. ::))
Prince Charming - Fancy a vertical simulation of the horizontal mating dance, Darlin'?
Cinders- No, no, no,no ,no....Oh alright then, but no tongues..
Lots of thigh slapping and twirling..
Cinders - Ooo eck is that the time, I must away....Darn, I've dropped me clingfilm slipper....
Prince Charming - I will search all the bars and drinking establishments throughout the land til I claim you as my own!!
Enter Genie and Fairy godmother... ;D, doing the tango whilst genie rubbing his lamp and getting on the Fairy godmother's wick....A quick rendition of "Come all Ye Faithful.." then pirouettes off stage...
Prince Charming - I'm back, Here's you shoe, now can we have a shag??

Lots of thigh slapping, punching and general bedlam, finale of  " Voulez vous Couchez avec moi..." Please...OK Lorna.. ::) ;) And Derek waves his stick...
   The End

Phew..Hey Wards!!! How's you?!? Fancy a bevy? OK you lot, be back at closing.... ;D ;D ;D

What about me - has the genie been dropped - luckily Wardy rubbed me spout and out I came.  How's about
The genie enters Prince Charming!

*catches pumpkin
i cant believe you want me to abuse this fine specimen for heckling purposes. something as fine as this should be made into pumpkin preserve, or pumpkin sweet and sour, or pumpkin risotto, or pumpkin pasties or.....
*leaves theatre

Am sooo sobbing!! Ady!! Sorry....OK erm will revise script and get back to you...Pint?  ;D

Regards Vouley vous couche avec moi A. You are too drunk and " you might at least say please, or even merci

Revised....OK..can I go finish my tequila now? I still haven't managed the slamming bit, keep hurling, poor Reedos is soaked... :-X
OK, OK Lorna!! Am on the case...honestly... ::) ;)

Can I wave my stick NOW?????...box collapses....ooooph

Derek

Hey Lottie will you stop with all this panto re-writing lark, my glass is empty.


Oh it's ok take your time just rung my shirt out, managed to get a half a bottle out of it.

Is nobody else coming to the bar ??  Ady now you've been rubbed and are all big again how about getting down here and giving me a hand am struggling to keep Lottie upright on my own....

Right revision 203 done, Derek....am going to burn your box....Reedos, what you doing up there... ???

heeeeeeellllllllllllllp someone  heeelpp.  I've been locked in the broom cupboard.. Heeeeeeeeeeel  ohhhhhhhhh,  OOOOoooooooooooooOOOOOOO  whose that,   ooooooOOOOOOOO you got my whip  ermmmmm  heellllloo anybody....good no one heard me  <giggle>  so you are who exactly, cani put the light on <ouch!>...oh yes mistress I won't ask..........

When do I get to do something with my wand? ???

Opens door....ICY!!! Put the broom down!!! You're needed in make up for eye brow plucking.... ;D
You out of batteries again, Max? ::)

You can wave your wand over my wick anytime Fairy Godmother.

Sorry its gone a bit limp. Delilah just sat on it... ::)

Well, we'll just have to strap it up, here you go....passes a garden cane and some parcel tape.......Though you must be more careful with it...

I dno't know about you but my wicks hot - someone just lit me lamp.  Good job I came out for Wardy or we would have had to call blue watch.

Quotepasses a garden cane and some parcel tape

Actually a pea stick would do. Or a plant label. Ok just give us a match...

Tooth pick do? Ady...erm...did you just say you came out for Wardy or have I had too much tequila... ???

QuoteTooth pick

Offer or request?

I did - I came out for Wardy when she rubbed my spout.

OOOooooohhhhhh....cos!!! Right, well, she says hiding blushes, think a full dress rehearsal may be in order, but Delilah is out on the razzle again. ::) so will have to wait, lost Lorna, Max is playing with his wand,Icy's back in the cupboard, Reedos is talking to a jug, Aiken? Best no to talk about that....and as for Cinders..well.....very sad...but it shouldn't be that noticeable...and Derek's lost his box again.....I'm off to the pub... ;D ;D ;D

Quitter.

Turns around sharpish and removes all wand privelages....stalks off to cry in corner......

Feel terrible.

Right, I'm off to the pub. Bye all!

Awwww Dominique!!! No!!! Come back!! Here you go pet!! Here's you eyelashes, and gown and tiara.....blessed Cinders has, well...let me whisper...........so there you have it...so sad, you're the new Cinders!! Now learn your lines and will you move your sheep? They've cornered Ady.... ::)
Pub? ;D

Now then, what AM I to do with all these sheep?  Errrrm?  ::) :o  ;D
(http://www.gifs.net/Animation11/Animals/Barn_Animals/Sheep.gif)

Erm.....you really want me to answer that...?

Dominique. Don't believe a word the management say. I was kind enough to give up my part so they could have cuppas and currant buns and they even pinched that job. (They set up brews in the orchestra pit!!) They keep changing so many things I have had to have a lay down with a bottle beside me. I will wish you luck, you will need it :'(

Right I'm taking control!!!! Scuse me Lorna...stepping over her....Everyone in costume and ready for dress rehearsal at 11:30..... ;D

Oop - by about 11.30, my pointy things might be a little bit droopy - especially after I have tried out the Fairy Godmother's latest chat up line.

Quote from: undercarriage plan on December 23, 2005, 20:15:52
Delilah is out on the razzle again. ::)

I wish...........................what with limp wands :-\, stroppy divas demanding costumes changes, eyebrow waxing, droopy pointy bits :o and script changes and not to mention trying to make Aiken's bum look small and you lot all at the pub I haven't had a minute to meself ....................... am verging on a nervous breakdown ...the pressure is just all toooooooooo much  ???

Sorry, Delilah...was them though....they kept asking for revisions....sniff....it's all been so traumatic.....
Can we start hair removal now??? That'll cheer me up!!! ;D

So who's first then..............................form an orderly queue....................................first one on the couch please ;)

Aiken and Max (you are still the ugly sisters aren't you) ..............................chest wax I think......................come on boys don't be scared, it will be swift and painless ;D

Quoteit will be swift and painless

That's my other chat up line.  :)

 ::) ::) ::) ;) Think chest and upper lip should do it....

full leg and bikini line ;D

 :-X

Congrats Lottie!  Such  wonderful performance despite having to work with such rank amateurs, esp Clang and TM.  I don't think they were fully focussed from the off you know (looking down nose in sniffy fashion)

Next year Lots pick your actors from the Rada dear,. Mind you twice the price!

(http://www.gifs.net/Animation11/Computers_and_Technology/Computers_and_Parts/Game_genie.gif)
I'm ready - you don't think it's a little skimpy do you?

You carry it off beautifully Clanger, especially now that you've had all your bits waxed ;D

Thought we had rehersals at 11.30 where is everybody? ::) ???

There there Dominque don't cry! We'll find you another part :D

Oooh! (http://www.gifs.net/Animation11/Everything_Else/Fire/Lamp_with_fire.gif) Rub me!!!  ;D

You bin on the pop Clang .....................if you insist.................I'll rub...................there you go ;D

(http://www.gifs.net/Animation11/Computers_and_Technology/Computers_and_Parts/Game_genie.gif)
Ah there - I'm back  ;D

Well, Ady will be pleased.... ;D ;)

Why am I awake? ???

Just found out you lot are having a Panto.  

Can I be a horse?  I could gallop down to the pub, trot back and nag anyone who has too much.  This could be my mane job.  I can kick anyone up the backside if they forget their lines or get out of order.  I can eat my oats when everyone else is sowing theirs.   You have got to have a panto horse... it just wouldn't be complete without one!

Pauline

You're hired....But why am I awake?

" Your both blooming UGLY my daughters!"


.....ohhhhhhhhh was that delivery a bit late....?

<sheepish smile>

;D

Don't know about you other luvvies - but I think Lottie should host an after-show party in the Chat Room tonight.

Drinks are on her, of course.

Darn.....I seem to have mislaid all my money.......nevermind...Ozzy will lend me a grand.... ;D ;D ;D

Quote from: undercarriage plan on December 24, 2005, 00:35:59
Why am I awake? ???

Don't know Lotts, why were you awake?

OI you lot shut up and listen!  Lottie you have GOT to hold the party now money or no without excuses - we are Diva's you know!

Newsflash has it the public liked it.  Well one person anyway,  Actually the only person that saw it.  well read it anyway...well had it read while tieddown and sat on??

Who I hear you ask?   I SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....Who I hear you ask?  well bloddy well ask then?

My dear mum thats who....  and she actually laughed!  We're famous now!!!  Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

So whens the next show?

Come on Lottie out the pub again and get writing  ;D

(http://bestsmileys.com/drinking/2.gif)

No, shan't...I'm currently occupied with far more important things..... ???

Delilah, I have no idea!! Went to bed, went to sleep, woke up.....so I wasn't asleep anymore.....most strange! Lovely and quiet in the house though! Not a peep....think it may have been the worry concerning Ady and his wick and Max's limp wand though...

QuoteMax's limp wand

Just forget that bit now, Ok!

What time does the party start?

Why haven't I got anything better to do?

Well.....so many answers and so little time...  ;D
Ady's slippers need recurling, no idea where we left Aiken, or you could go get the drinks in???

Quote from: terrace max on December 24, 2005, 12:38:51
Why haven't I got anything better to do?

I don't know....................... why haven't you got anything better to do?

Pauline Thank goodness you have arrived now I have someone else who can be sensible. I have tried really hard to control them but have failed miserably. Have gotta go now, gotta shower and make myself pretty (I heard that ruddy remark Icy :'( :'( :'() off to daughters, whole family get together.. fun and games. Bye all

 ;D ;D ;D ;D Have a wonderful time, Lorna!! But....but....you mean we're not all invited too. ??? Ady, put the blessed sheep down!!! Aiken shouldn't be like this for too much longer....and we will behave promise... :-* ;)

Tah rah rah Boom-de-ay...Tah rah rah boooo...  have we started yet?

Derek

I'm waiting - I do not come until the end.

You're in the middle aren't you, or was it way at the start?  Probably the start...... ;D Please tell me you haven't lost your script again......
Derek!!!! Noooo! Not yet!!
I don't know why I bother.....stalks out....last one to the pub is a big girls blouse........And I was 100m champion 3 years running, I'll have you know..  8)  shame it was for sprout hurling though.... ;D

On yer Marks....get s......GO!!!!  ;D run run run run run.....stop...pant....run run run run.....slams hand on bar!!! Last.... ::) What yer having Dominique?

Quote from: undercarriage plan on December 24, 2005, 00:39:48
You're hired....But why am I awake?

Thanks UP.  I bet you stayed up to watch Catherine Cookson!!  It's been on all week and goes on until midnight.  It has put my sleeping patterns out a bit for it is almost 1 am by the time I have checked the computer etc.

Pauline

Well, it wasn't much good me saying that 'cos they're all in the pub.  Well, I suppose I had better trot off after them and keep them in control.....trot.. trot..trot...trot....  Open door of pub.......
"Get out, no horses in here" the landlord shouts.

Quick, where's the fairy godmother.  Can she change me into a beautiful young woman instead of an old nag ??? 

Now, now Pauline!! Erm....you may have found it easier to have left the costume back there..? Just a thought..
What'll it be? Dominque's on her 2nd jug of ale....I'm on the mineral water... ;D

Yes, I've left the costume behind now but still want fairy Godmother to change me into a beautiful young woman!!  :'(

I will have a glass of wine please then at least after a couple of drinks I will feel a beautiful young woman even if I am not.   ;D ;D

Some would say Brad Pitt was a beautiful young man, Gandhi was not.

I rest my case.

Merry Christmas Pauline.

Oh Pauline, you daft mare....... ;D ;D ;D  Get it?? You daft mare!!...Sorry.... ;D....ahem.......pint, please.....  :-X

Thank you TM, I hope you have a happy Christmas too.

You'll get a kick up the backside UP for calling me a daft mare.   >:(  I'm not daft nor am I a silly old donkey.  I am now a young filly having had a few glasses of wine.   ;)  ;D
I will show my horspitality ...yes, horspitality, by asking if anyone would like a drink.  It's on me folks!!   ;D

Sorry Pauline.... I so rarely manage to retain any jokes whatsoever....that I had too!! But I have given myself a stern finger waggling and put myself in the corner...... can I have a glass of still orange please??  :P

I'm an ass  ;D

PS Lottie, I don't mind where I come as long as I do  ;D

OY You lot have just got home. Just checking to see if all is in order. Waited for all of you in Chatteris (never heard of it?????) I was going to buy you all a drink. Have gotta go again to have ANOTHER drinky drops next door with Lorna.. I was very good I only drank HALF a bottle of Brandy at Alysons. Night night see you in my dreams. ;D One small Grand daughter hung on me saying Can I come home with you Nan? I even told her she would miss Father Christmas. See what a lovely Nan I am . I only walloped her three times. ;D

Can I come home with you, Lorna???? ??? I've lost control of the entire cast, Ady won't come on when he's supposed too, and you have the brandy! :'( ;)
Sweet dreams, matey, have a wonderful, wonderful day... :-*

Course you can Lottie but you had better come to No 36 as the celebrations are continuing round there. Plenty of Brandy mate I had 5 bottles amongst my birthday presents ;D I told Pauline I had lost control of the cast. You are too easy on them. I'm off nightcap is getting warm next door ::)Love to all the little lotties xxx

Okidoke!! See you there, just need to get me 7 cases down from the loft....... thud..... won't be long!

Lottie, can I come too.  I am not big, just little.!!!!

Lottie  tell me what does A4A Panto ....GG    stand for   i.e.  GG???


:-*

Erm....well..... it's either Gorgeously Grandiose, or Gruesome Gunk or Giggle Giggle.... choose after the performance...... :)
Cos you can petal!! See you at Lorna's, how many cases you bringing? Just the 5, no probs... ;D

Nar  only got One.    Will be there after the Church Service, OK??? 



:P :P :P :P :P :P :P

Ooo more room for mine, cos it is! I'll ick you up after, may have to be the JCB though....  8)
Awww sad now.....  where's me matey Dibs... :'(

Crikey where am I ...... (Stands up bashes head on table) Oh Bugger I'm still in the Beadles Arms.

Lottie what day is it ?? Tell me you are joking....not another lost day, no presents wrapped sorry folks got to go.
(leaves pub in a flap)
Wahay here's a trusty steed, back to Tyneside and step on it. Best stop at an all night garage OH'll have to make do with Malteezers again.(Clip clop etc)

Stop here Dobbin, Shell garage on the left. We've made great time (kisses horse on nose)


(Blinding flash - horse turns into Pauline.) Hey Pauline that's a bonny dress, going somewhere. To the ball with me, OK always wanted a princess. Maybe we can get up to a bit horseplay after ?

Reedos exits with his princess, OH and Malteezers a distant memory and they all live happily ever after...

The End ;D

Oh I liked that one Reedos  ;D  ;D  ;D

We are all off to Lorna's next door neighbours house now and  Lorna has 5 bottles of brandy!!  ;D  ;D  ;D   We can't let her drink all that on her own or she will be ill.  :'(   

Lottie wanted an orange juice earlier on........can you believe it!! ....an orange juice??  Bet she has a bottle of gin hidden in her handbag.  Before that she said she was drinking mineral water.  I don't believe it, it was probably a g&T.  Off to see Lorna now, bye.  Who else is coming??

Pauline

You were all flipping invited and not one of you has turned up :'(Did you lose your way in the fog in the Fens? Well sorry, I have come back from daughters (Pauline she is not a neighbour she is my daughter, must admit though she is a lovely neighbour... does that make sense?) Anyhow this poor old nag is going to retire with a book, have been up since 5.30am. I just cannot get to sleep unless I read for an hour and the brandy does seem to slow my reading rate up a tad ;D
Have left 4.1/2 bottles of brandy so plenty for when we make new arrangements.

Quote from: lorna on December 24, 2005, 23:40:58
You were all flipping invited and not one of you has turned up :'(Did you lose your way in the fog in the Fens? ]

Sorry Lorna, I was on my way when I got kidnapped by Reedos and ended up in Gateshead.  It has been a good night though ......mmm.   

Pauline

Thanks for the drinks everyone... Oops. Sorry.   Blasted sheep. 
Night night!
And Merry christmas   :-*  :-*
D