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He was getting far better care at home and I was coping, it was hard I agree but the decision to place him was not because of me or him.... it was for other people.I am not depressed by the way,although it might sound like I am. I am very sad and yes I do prefer to be alone rather than mix with folks but my Dr who I have had for many many years has told me that as John and I were so very close and we have been together for so long my pain is from grief not depression and while John is alive it is doubtful my grief will begin to heal...oooh that all sounds so morbid.I did try joining the seniors centre, paid my membership and everything..I tried the craft group. ideal yes...NO...it was the most depressing situation and they made me feel so old...OK so I am 73 and I don't I think I can get more fun right here reading all your posts.Is anyone growing anything through the winter in a hoop house or greenhouse..I want to that.XX Jeannine