Topic: My delemma

[zigzig]

About 15 years ago a single bloke moved in next door. He served for most of his life in one of the (Arny, Navy, Airforce) services but I wont say which.

He divorced years ago, she died later (that is what he told us) and his only daughter never seems to be around. Seems she married well and lives abroad.

Any way he is quite a good mate.

The other day he said that his pension from the services he could pass on to his wife but not to any one else. The house etc he wanted to leave to his only child but his pension would die with him if he did not have a wife.

He knows we have a disabled daughter and suggested that he 'married her' so that she could inherit his decent pension.

It sounds like a reasonable suggestion seeing as he is so much older, she would get a lot of years of pension from it.

Of course we had all had a couple or three at the time and the following day I thought. Forget it, it was just the drink. Today I spoke to him and he reminded me about the conversation and said that he thought he would like to do that for her.

I have not put the suggestion to our daughter.

Does any one know if the pension he has could be passed on as he says? Is he making a decent suggestion?

I am protective to my daughter and whilst I can not think of any reason why his offer is not a decent friendly gesture it would be interesting to see what any one else knows.

[Sparkly]

Wow! She wouldn't be the first or last person to marry for money if she did this.  I guess it depends how your daughter views this. As a woman she may well be upset or insulted that she is being given the offer, especially if she felt this was a sympathy thing. I guess this depends what the nature of her disability is. I also don't know what the in's and outs of the pension could be withdrawn (it would be a scam marriage afterall). I guess very difficult to prove and whether they would bother to fight it even if they suspected is probably low chance.

I personally would not feel comfortable with this, but I don't think that is for people other than the family to judge.

[Bill Door]

Ok seems like a good idea.  However, have a look at this PDF page 8 of 28 right hand side.

http://www.rafcom.co.uk/pay_allowances/pdf/afps05_family_pension.pdf

Seems that in all honesty ... well read for yourself.


Bill

[zigzig]

Thanks  Bill.

The bloke retired from the forces before 2005 so will have been in the 1975 scheme.

[aj]

Hmm........

The line in your first post that worries me is the 'that is what he told us' as if somewhere in your head you don't quite believe it.

Not sure about this to be honest....

[Bill Door]

Yep well the 1975 scheme also requires honesty.

Not sure I understand your dilemma if honesty is compromised.

Besides which you would be party to taking money under false pretences from every taxpayer in the Country.

Bill

[OllieC]

Plenty of other people have married for money - don't let anyone moralise on that basis! I really don't know what I'd do  but if you do go ahead, you should only do it on an "all above board" basis - you wouldn't want to risk being charged with conspiracy to defraud & you don't want him to have anything over you if things go wrong. This would mean you could get legal advice, and make sure that your daughter can't be exploited. There's not really a tactful way to put this - but conjugals are going to arise (  ::) sorry) at some point. Is this part of what is worrying you?

[Paulines7]

I would have thought that once your neighbour married, your daughter would be his sole heir and the house would be hers too.  Your neighbours daughter could then kick up a fuss and it would all come out in the wash.

I really don't think it is a good idea at all.  What does your daughter think about it and is she able to make her own decisions?  If she is not then I definitely think she should not marry him.