Topic: Build an ark quickly!!

[gwynleg]

The rain in hertfordshire has been truly biblical in proportions in the last hour or so - cant quite believe how much is coming down. Its really noisy.

Still cant complain about watering....

[lincsyokel2]

its gonna rain till october, the jet stream is stuck looping round us to the south. Not only are we stuck in the cold air off the artic, all the cold fronts are being diverted over the top of us.

[Jeannine]

What would you put in the ark

XX Jeannine

[Gillysdad]

Well me tv for a start, or should that be two tv's... ;D

[lincsyokel2]

Well me tv for a start, or should that be two tv's... ;D

not to forget coffee making machine and bean grinder.

[Jeannine]

I thought you were blooming gardeners, the original Ark was more earth friendly than you two :D

I am taking my passion killers and bedsocks it sounds cold..pure wool of course.

My duvet, 100% cotton filled with natural goose down.

My natural wicker basket filled with picnic food, needless to say all made from scratch with organic ingredients.

and my 6 inch memory foam mattress.... well I don't do palliasses

XX Jeannine

[Kepouros]

My fishing tackle and a VERY powerful outboard motor

[Mushy Pea]

I'd need my netbook to catch up with this site.  ;D

MP

[1066]

My OH  ;D

[Digeroo]

Could you send a little our way, here in the Cotswolds were are still having a drought!!!  I need a camel not an arkl.

[Kepouros]

I think you might have some trouble sourcing an adequate supply  of Gopher wood

[lincsyokel2]

I think you might have some trouble sourcing an adequate supply  of Gopher wood

Monsanto have developed genetically modified gophers that are 25 feet long and can chop GM gopher wood trees at 50 board feet/ minute. You have to rent the gophers at an extortionate rate per day and you're not allowed to let them breed. Also, they die at the end of the season. Such are the wonders of modern agricultural science.

[Jeannine]

They can't go on an Ark, it has to be a maiting pair XX Jeannine

[Digeroo]

And don't forget the unicorn this time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EPsuOEH1fY

[plainleaf]

row  row row your boat.

[Kepouros]

Gophers, being naturally native to the United States of America,  and nowhere else, were not known to to Noah, or very probably at that time, even to the Lord himself, since every true historian knows full well that the creation of that part of the American Continent occupied by the United States resulted not from the handiwork of the Lord, but from the build up of the mountain of animal ordure that had to be shovelled overboard off the Ark to prevent it`s sinking.

It therefore follows that the use of any wood gnawed by gophers, 25feet long or otherwise, which were unknown to all material parties at the time would be completely in contravention of the direct and incontravertible orders given to Noah by the Lord, and any Ark so constructed would therefore be liable to immediate shipwreck.

[lincsyokel2]

Gophers, being naturally native to the United States of America,  and nowhere else, were not known to to Noah, or very probably at that time, even to the Lord himself, since every true historian knows full well that the creation of that part of the American Continent occupied by the United States resulted not from the handiwork of the Lord, but from the build up of the mountain of animal ordure that had to be shovelled overboard off the Ark to prevent it`s sinking.

It therefore follows that the use of any wood gnawed by gophers, 25feet long or otherwise, which were unknown to all material parties at the time would be completely in contravention of the direct and incontravertible orders given to Noah by the Lord, and any Ark so constructed would therefore be liable to immediate shipwreck.

But EU regulations at he time stated in the Gopher Wood (Animal Poo)( Disposal of) Act any Arc poo exported from the EU tothe US was liable to a VAT charge of 20%.

The US therefore owes  us the VAT on 20 trillion tons of Arc Poo  +  3500 years interst.

[Kepouros]

To those members who played truant during  R.I. and Geography classes it must be pointed out that the Middle East, particularly that part inhabited by Noah and his family, has never formed part of Europe, or at any time become subject to the dictat of the Jackbooted Gauleiters in Brussels, whose limited (if any) authority arises from a 20th century Franco/German alliance (perhaps AXIS would be more correct) attempting to achieve by stealth and skulduggery all that Napoleon, Kaiser Bill and Adolph Hitler failed to achieve by force of arms.

Consequently, both Noah and the present Revolutionary Government of our late translantic colony would be perfectly entitled to raise two vertical digits to the EU

[1066]

 ;D  :D  ;D  :D  ;D  :D  ;D


gwynleg - what have you started  ;)

[gwynleg]

Not the direction I thought this would go but great fun anyway!!