Topic: Ouch!! My hand is still hurting

[Paulines7]

We were in Sainsburys this afternoon when OH bumped into an ex work colleague.  I was introduced to him and he put his hand out.  I didn't really have much time to think and offered my hand......then absolute agony as he shook and squeezed my hand.   :'( 

A few weeks back we had a visitor to the house who put his hand out to shake mine but I was probably more awake then and told him that I was sorry but I couldn't shake hands as it was so painful due to my arthritis.  How I wish I had said the same thing this afternoon. 

The experience today was horrific and I don't think I will ever make that mistake again.  The poor gentleman that I was introduced to was visibly upset too. 

Has anyone else with arthritis had a similar experience and do you grin and bear it or refuse and apologise?

[tricia]

It's happened to me often in the past Pauline, but now I only offer my fingers - very gingerly - and usually the other person catches on not to squeeze.

Tricia

[lorna]

Pauline, Charlie had the same problem and he would just explain and refuse the handshake. When Joshua was very young we were teaching him to shake hands with the male members of the family, he would just put one finger out to Charlie as he knew Granddad had painful hands. Arthritis is such a painful thing, after years and years of marriage I had to sleep in a separate bed because if I turned in the night and touched Charlie's legs he was in agony.
Hope your hand is less painful tonight.

[PurpleHeather]

I recall watching a feature about shaking hands. It seems some one raised the point about the Queen and how many hands she shakes and how she deals with it. People are so pleased to shake the gloved hand of royalty that they can get over excited and forget that the hand shake should be a gesture and she could easily suffer an injury.

HM never takes the palm of the other person's hand in hers. Instead she grasps the fingers with hers and places her thumb so that their fingers can not bend.

Controlling the manoeuvre she is preventing the other party from being able to make that painfull squeeze. It is a polished technique of course, taught in youth and practised daily. Well worth learning.

[manicscousers]

I explain and make a joke, manky things, painful joints  :-\ :)

[landimad]

Pauline,

This was no gentleman.
I find that if you take the hand of someone in greeting them, it should be taken lightly. Enough grip not to startle them but enough to hold on.
That is how my father taught me and the rest of us Herbert's in the house.
Gents get a firm shake of the hand and the ladies a light one.
Apologies from the male species to you.

[Paulines7]

Some interesting replies, thank you.

Landimad, the gentleman probably didn't squeeze that hard, it is just that my finger joints are so swollen and painful.

From a teenager I learnt that a firm handshake was a sign of confidence and intelligence and that a person with a weak handshake was a wimp.  I don't know who told me this but it does seem to be born out in this article. 
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1062941/Looking-job-A-firm-handshake-key-interview-success-say-scientists.html

Purpleheather, I don't think I could quite perfect the Queen's handshake but I have been practising Dr Shiels with my husband and it seems to be the answer.  See:
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=20192

[SMP1704]

At our annual awards ceremony at work, the MD who does the presenting and hand shaking always starts off with a humorous guide on how to shake hands.  It is always amusing but has a serious point - there can be 150 people getting certificates for this and that.  Of course some people then decide to hug him rather do the hand shake ;D ;D