Found this and thought it was quite funny:
A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a
night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their
pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab
company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the
front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard
scoots back into the house.
They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat
the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to
get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. Waiting in the
cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for
the night. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon
"He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab."Sorry I took so long,
he says as they drive away. "Stupid b**ch was hiding under the bed. Had to
poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off
so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep
her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and
threw her out into the back yard!"
The cabdriver hit a parked car.
