All my family love chilli - all my family except me!
I worked with an Indian lady some years ago and she did not care for chilli that much and her children prefered their food to be ' not too hot' either but her husband would complain his food was under hot.
She told me that she would make the meal to suit her, serve hers and the kids on to their plates then smother his share with chilli sauce.
To cool down the chilli you can add some dairy. milk, cream or youghurt. If you prefer coconut, cream, milk or some of any in powder form.