Topic: CLASSIC FM

[betula]

Just spent a lovely afternoon doing my tasks accompanied by the wonderful Christmas carols and music.

Really put me in the mood for Christmas :)

[ACE]

What a picture you paint. Ballet dancing around your chores dressed in your elasticated nickers ;)

[betula]

LOL  I must say they are causing a problem,have not been able to get em off. ;D

Causing all kinds of complications. ;D

[ACE]

It must have something to do with all the 'uplifting' music. But not to worry help is at hand. I expect others on here will be able to help but if you try the ACE patent panty removal system you should be able to sit down to your xmas dinner in comfort.

Being the season of the year where all the ingredients are at hand you should start by filling the icing sugar gun with the goosefat you were going to use on your roasties. Insert into the elastic waistband and keep pumping until you have about a pound and a half in there. Roll about on the floor to distribute the goosefat evenly, then go and warm up the offending area by a roaring log fire. When sufficiently warmed jump up on a chair and pretend to adjust the fairy on the tree. Shout to hubby to give you a hand and as he enters the room  start toppling off the chair. Hubby in his panic to save you will  rush and grab you in a type of low down bear hug. You should then pop out of the offending articles like a champagne cork. Just be careful where you land, and for christs sake pull the curtains

Put the chastity belt away until all the excesses of xmas have past, sometime like next june should do. Otherwise you will get stuck again about easter, and chocklit don't slide like dripping.


PS forgot to say if hubby is busy, ring the fire brigade.

[betula]

Dear Ace,

thankyou so much for sending me  the ACE patent  pantie removal system.

I would so like to eat my Christmas dinner in comfort.

I have read all the instructions carefully and it sounds like a really good game ,er I mean removal system.

My only concern is my goose fat is Highgrove you know,not sure they would approve,but then again,they probally would.

Then there is the cost ,it is very expensive you know,however,we spend lots on squirt cream and stuff,I keep telling him he will get fat.

Thanks again for your kindness

Betula

[Froglegs]

Ya got them off then  :o  ;)

[betula]

Them int mine.........far too small

Me knickers are a force to be reckoned with.............or so I have been told ;D

[Froglegs]

 ;D

[glosterwomble]

I'm beginning to wonder if there is something going on between Betula and Ace  ::) ? All this saucy talk!!!  ;D

[ACE]

Oh oh! we've been rumbled babe Bet. But no, no, no , people if you read your posts you will see that at this moment I am being cyber stalked by Bortolli. Betula is a lady I have never ever met, and if you read the thread properly you will see that the sexy drawers I got her for Xmas do not fit.  XXXL was the size that was needed and only the local fire brigade could have known that.

I have also heard that her better half is over 6 foot tall and is known locally as Captain Correlli and plays the mandolin.
Sounds a bit cosy nostral to me. I don't fancy waking up in bed with an horses head beside me. Mind you it might be an improvement on what I usually wake up with.

Please stop this speculation at once before somebody gets jealous hurt.

[betula]

LOL  ;D ;D ;D