It had been a particularly fine day for mid October, sunny and pleasantly warm, with only the slightest of breezes. Consequently, although it was mid-week, the Golf Club had been quite busy, and there were quite a number in the mens` locker room - some still changing their clothes or cleaning their clubs, while others simply chatted while they waited for their friends.
Suddenly a mobile` phone chirruped, and the man sitting next to it picked it up and answered it, making shushing signs to his immediate neighbours. As so often happens in such cases conversation in the room died away, and everybody else pretended to be minding his own business, while at the same time straining his ears to listen to the conversation, while those furthest away edged furtively nearer. Fortunately, the `phone speaker must have been set to maximum, and as they edged nearer and nearer to the man they were able to hear both ends of the conversation, which went thus:-
Female Voice - Darling, I hope I`m not interrupting your shot or anything, but I simply HAD to `phone.You remember you agreed that my old Volkswagon was getting a bit tatty - well I`ve just seen the most divine BMW cabriolet in the most gorgeous shade of duck-egg blue, and I`m sure that you`s love it if you only saw it.....
Man - How much?
Female - I`m afraid it`s £35,000, but darling........
Man - And do you really think you`re up to handling a BMW?
Female - Well, the salesman said he could spare a couple of hours to give me some tuition if I bought it......
Man - If you like it that much then go ahead and buy it, but see if you can get a bit off for cash.
Female - Oh thank you darling. But darling, while you`re in such a good mood, I`ve just seen the most beautiful Versace suit, and I know it`s a bit expensive, but the colour matches absolutely perfectly with the BMW, and if you only saw me wearing it.........
Man - How much is it?
Female - It`s..It`s £5,000
Man - Well, if it`s what you really want then go ahead and buy it.
Female - Oh Darling, you`ve been so kind today that I hardly dare to ask again, but you know how I`d always set my heart on a swimming pool in the back garden, and you`ve always said that we couldn`t possibly afford it while the boys are still at school?
Man - Yes?
Female - Well I`ve just been in Harrods, and they`re doing a special new line in swimming pools, and they`re doing specially reduced rates for the first 20 customers, and I know you said we couldn`t afford it but........
Man - How much?
Female - Well, there`s a lovely one just the right size for our garden with a filter and a heater and a cover and...........
Man- HOW MUCH?
Female - £25,000 but it`s reduced from £35,000, and the man says it`s an absolute snip, and if we wait for the boys to finish school it`ll be much more expensive and .......
Man - Are you sure that you really want a swimming pool on top of everything else?
Female - Well, we both agreed that we`d like one as soon as we could afford it, and think how much fun the boys will have in it in the summer hols, and it`ll be absolutely perfect for poolside parties
Man - If it`ll really please you Darling, then go ahead and put an order in today.
Female - Oh Darling, you`re so good to me, thank you, love you. Bye.
As the man put the `phone down, one of the listeners remarked loudly. It`s o.k. for some. I wish I could afford to keep my old woman quiet that way.
The man looked around, and said...
"Does anyone know who this `phone belongs to?"
