I have a friend called George who is just a little bit dim. Someone told him he had been born outside Wedlock. He spent hours pouring over maps trying to find Wedlock.
He is also a bit of a hypochondriac, and visits the Doctor at least once a month with some ailment or another, this despite the fact that his Doctor is a dragon of a woman. One day she sent him to Hospital for further tests. A Doctor at the Hospital, after the tests, told him that he had a number of highly contagious diseases, and he would need to be put into an isolation ward. He was asked if he liked pancakes, and when he asked "Why?" was told that it was the only type of food they could get under the door.
Another time he went to see this fearsome Doctor, she diagnosed a problem the cure for which required him to ingest natural baby's milk. He asked her whether it was sold at the Chemist? The Doctor said "NO" and explained that she would make an appointment to visit a lady who was a donor of natural babies milk. Oh!
With trepidation, he knocked on the front door of the donor at the appointment time, and was pleasantly surprised when a young blonde lady of ample proportions answered and invited him in. She undid the buttons on her blouse, asked him to sit on her lap, and presented him with her mammary gland to suck, which he proceeded to do.
Now I must explain that George has a very slow suck, always had had it, which made life difficult for him sometimes. However, in this case, his slow suck was having a erotic effect on the donor lady. She couldn't help herself, and shyly asked him if there was anything else he would like?
"Oh yes please", said he, "do you have any Farley's Rusks?"
