Obviously this tale takes place in a country where these matters are more delicately and at the same time more openly dealt with. Nevertheless in view of my readers sensibilities I shall couch the story in terms which I hope will not sully their finer emotions with crudities.
The owner of a what is referred to in Britain as a house of ill-repute received a telephone call. The, for want of a better word, customer, asked if they provided a home service. The Madame, as I believe is the correct phrase for such a person, agreed that for a suitable fee a home visit could be arranged.
The customer then asked if the house had on its books any blonde ladies, very blonde indeed. The madame replied that they had personnel with every colour of hair, available especially those of the fair-haired persuasion.
The potential customer was suitably pleased, but went on to discover if any of these light haired damsels were thin, extremely almost anorexically thin. Madame, after a few moments thought, responded that one of her ladies was exceptionally thin and very blonde.
An address and a time and the fee was duly arranged.
This vision of blonde slimness knocked on the approprite door and was invited in. She was escorted to a rug in front of a nice glowing warm fire. There she was asked to remove her garments. This she did and the customer prononced himself very satisfied with the lack of spare flesh clothing her bones. He then carefully arranged the lady on her hands and knees on the said rug in front of the said fire and asked the perplexed female to wait a few moments.
The man then left the room and returned a minute later with a huge Great Dane Hound. It was big and mean-looking and its foam flecked lips barely covered its teeth.
"Now" said the man to his panting dog, "That is how you will look if you do not eat your Doggy Chunks!"
