Old Fred`s pals thought he was pulling their legs when he invited them to his wedding. They all knew that old Fred was 85 and a lifelong bachelor, but they also knew that he was worth a bob or two, and when they found out that his bride to be was only 19 they all immediately formed their own conclusions – namely that old Fred wouldn`t be able to stand the pace and she would soon be a rich young widow.
Fred`s bride to be, Janet, was also getting quite a bit of ribbing on the same lines from her friends, and it was getting her a bit worried. Surprisingly enough she genuinely loved old Fred, and far from wanting to wear the old chap out, she wanted to keep him alive as a husband for as long as possible, but now that her friends had pointed out to her the likely effects of a too active married life she had to think of some way of preventing it. She mustn`t say anything which would hurt old Fred`s feelings, and she knew he was a bit touchy about any comments on his age, so what should she do?
After some deliberation she told Fred that she was very shy, and that it might take her a week or two to get used to married life, and she was a very restless sleeper anyway, and she thought it would be a good idea if, just for the honeymoon, they had separate adjoining bedrooms with a communicating door. Of course, she told him, he would be welcome into her bedroom whenever he wanted, and she would knock on the door to let him know when she was ready for bed. Privately she reckoned that if she took her time getting ready he might drop off to sleep while he was waiting. Fred grumbled a bit at the idea, but he desperately wanted to please Janet, so he reluctantly agreed.
The wedding went very well indeed, and Fred had a bit of a doze in the car on the way to Bournemouth, so by the time they arrived at the honeymoon hotel he was still in pretty good shape. After a decent dinner they went up to their respective rooms, Janet got undressed and put on her honeymoon nightie and tapped on the communicating door, then hopped back into bed. A few moments later Fred came in, all spritely, and got into bed with her, and much to her surprise, behaved with all the vim and vigour of a lusty youth. The marriage duly consummated Fred retired to his own room and Janet settled herself to sleep. She was just dozing off when the door opened, and old Fred appeared again, climbed into bed with her, and repeated his previous performance with amazing energy, then toddled off back to his own room again. Again, as she was dozing off the door opened and Fred re-appeared, got into bed with her and was, if anything, even more vigorous than the first and second times, leaving her thoroughly satisfied and somewhat exhausted. Then off he went back to his own room.
A few minutes later the door opened again, and in again came old Fred. By now Janet was beginning to get seriously alarmed. “Now listen, darling” she said gently “It isn`t that I don`t love you, but don`t you think that three times is quite enough for one night at your age?”
Old Fred`s jaw dropped, and he looked at her in puzzlement, and scratched his head.
“You mean I`ve been in already?”
