A Texan was paying his first visit to London and decided to rig himself out with a complete set of English clothes to impress his friends back home. Directed by a friendly hotel porter to Saville Row he inspected the shop fronts carefully, and finally entered what appeared to be the most impressive establishment.
A charming and immaculately attired young lady assistant immediately asked if she could assist him. He answered, "Yes ma'am. Ya see, I'm from Texas..., and I
want to buy a complete city outfit." Her eyes lit up at the thought of the sales commission as she asked, "Where would you like to start?"
"Well, ma'am, how about a suit?"
"Yes sir. What size?"
"Size 53 chest, and 6feet 6 inches tall, ma'am."
"Well, that's really..., big, but I`m sure we shall be able to manage something"
"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?" she asked.
He replied, "How about some shoes?"
"What size?"
"Size 15 Extra wide fitting."
"H`m, that's really..., big, but I`m sure we have them in stock"
"Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?"
"Well, I reckon I'll need a some shirts."
"Yes sir. What size?"
"Nineteen and a half neck, sleeves 38," he replied.
"Yes, that's unusually large but we have a selection in stock"
"Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
"Will there be anything else?" she asked.
"Yes ma'am. I 'spect I'll need a hat."
"Yes sir. What size..., and style?"
"Eight and five-eighths. One of those fancy Homburg things."
"Certainly, that's really quite big, but we keep all sizes"
"Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
She virtually glowed as she asked, "Is there anything else I can get for you?"
"No ma'am , I reckon that'll be all."
To hours later, and after much careful selection and trying-on, and his purchases neatly parceled, she totted up his bill, and as the Texan proferred his Amex Card, she blushed and asked, "Sir, could I ask you a question?"
"Yes ma'am, I already know what it is. And the answer is four inches."
Astonished, she blurted out, "But..., but..., why, my husband is bigger than that...!"
Without so much as a moment`s hesitation, and poker faced, the Texan replied,
"From the floor..., ma'am, From the floor..."
