Author Topic: Very sad today (Read 11433 times)

Lily · « **Reply #40 on:** June 08, 2005, 18:21:02 »

I too am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved mum.Â

From reading all the above notes it sounds like some of us have an idea of what you are going through - I've lost both parents.

All I can say is take one day at a time.Â I wish I had my allotment then, it would have been a place to hide and find a little peace.

It sounds like a good idea, to plant something in the allotment/garden to remember her.Â I have a scented rose - called 'Peace' that my dad bought me many years ago and it always reminds me of him.

Love and best wishes

Lily

loz · « **Reply #41 on:** June 09, 2005, 14:46:24 »

Wardy I'm so sorry to hear your news. My thoughts are with you, please accept my deepest sympathies.

Loz

Fingle.... · « **Reply #42 on:** June 09, 2005, 19:00:15 »

Im so sorry to hear your news.

I think of my mum every time I see a butterfly down the allotment.
There were loads around when she passed away, and I like to think of them as a metaphor for life after death.

Hope everything runs smoothly for you

Derek · « **Reply #43 on:** June 09, 2005, 19:39:32 »

Haven't been on the forum for a couple of days...what a shock

My thoughts are with you at this sad time

Derek

GREENWIZARD · « **Reply #44 on:** June 10, 2005, 17:56:19 »

sad sad news~i'm thinking of you.
hopefully time will ease your pain.
take care x

Gardengirl · « **Reply #45 on:** June 10, 2005, 19:22:08 »

So sorry to hear of the sad loss of your dear Mum Wardy. I know, like many of the others here, just how you are feeling. I lost my dear Mum and Dad some years ago now, but there is not a day goes by that I don't think of them and take comfort in all the lovely memories of them. God bless you. Love. Pat xx

RSJK · « **Reply #46 on:** June 10, 2005, 19:44:58 »

Feeling for you Wardy so sorry of your loss of a parent, God bless

Tulipa · « **Reply #47 on:** June 11, 2005, 08:22:19 »

Wardy, you must be well in to organisng things now, I just wanted to say I have thought of you all week and the sad tasks you have had to perform, just wanted to say we are still thinking of you. We are all here for you. Take care.

Deleted · « **Reply #48 on:** June 11, 2005, 18:58:58 »

So sorry to hear Wardy. After losing may partner six weeks ago, I've found it iss really important to have that time alone to just think. Friends and family are well meaning, and much needed, but you also need some quiet time. My thoughts are with you

spacehopper · « **Reply #49 on:** June 12, 2005, 20:19:54 »

Very sorry to hear that Wardy. (((((Wardy)))))

Multiveg · « **Reply #50 on:** June 21, 2005, 13:24:21 »

Get some niger seed in a birdfeeder - apparently, the goldfinches like it.

Deleted · « **Reply #51 on:** June 21, 2005, 13:32:20 »

Hello Wardy

re: your Mum's flat. You just have to go at your own speed. You'll know when you're ready to do it. I've only done just superficial sorting of my partner's things. Was feeling under pressure as my Mum has kept asking if I'd sorted his things out yet, but I've since been advised to do it when ready and not before - bit by bit if necessary.

Remember she'll always be with you - in your heart and memories - in the garden with the goldfinches, or with you in the quiet time down the allotment. Get that bird seed.

Marley Farley · « **Reply #52 on:** June 21, 2005, 13:46:19 »

:) So glad to hear you are back with us again. You have been through a hard time & peace with your thoughts is vital I think, healing. We are all here for you. As you say, you have a hard task ahead, but you will get through it. I found the best for me was to, head down & get on with it, but do it at your speed not anybody elses. do it, cry, talk, cuss & laugh with the memories while doing it all. Life will never be the same, but you will adjust. Take very good care of yourself, it's easy to forget about "you" at these times. Thinking of you. Â :)

Tulipa · « **Reply #53 on:** June 21, 2005, 13:53:12 »

Wardy, don't rush things, take your time and do it when you are ready, we will all be there with you in spirit when you do. Â

It took my Mum 10years before she could part with a lot of my Dad's things Dawn, and in my loft I have his golf clubs, fishing tackle etc as she still couldn't part with them and couldn't take them to her sheltered accomodation so I am looking after them indefinitely, I wonder if I shall ever part with them!

Both of you, don't feel pressured into clearing things, it should be your choice, when you are ready. Â The best thing is the memories you will find you had forgotten when you find odd items that bring them back. They will make you smile and cry!

I'm glad your plot has been a comfort Wardy, it must be looking good. Â Gardening is always my comfort.

http://www.birdfood.co.uk/dev/

http://www.rspb.org.uk/birds/whatyoucando/feedinggardenbirds/rspb_products.asp

Links for your goldfinches!

Take care, thinking of you.

lorna · « **Reply #54 on:** June 21, 2005, 14:26:36 »

Wardy.. good advice from other members.. Take your time. I lost my husband in Jan 2003 (just after 50th anniversary) although he was in a wheelchair for 5/6 years he could not resist buying tools. I only have one son (three daughters) so I sorted all the expensive tools and shared them between my son and son-in-laws. I know that is what he would have wanted, certainly couldn't dream of selling them/ My daughters had various personal things, one wanted his glasses and baseball cap, also two daughters wanted a trilby each. Middle daughter wanted his favourite cardigan which he had been wearing that week. She forbid me to wash it. Three of the young Grandchildren wanted a walking stick each, such little things but thats how they remember their Grandad. I am afraid to this day I just cannot get rid of clothes in his wardrobe., I suppose that is silly but as everybody says you have to tackle grief in your own way. My thoughts and wishes go to you. Love Lorna.

annieb · « **Reply #55 on:** June 21, 2005, 18:44:49 »

I almost never know the 'right' thing to say at these times, but please know that I'm adding my small voice out here to the chorus.Â Sending you caring thoughts.Â

When we lost our twins suddenly to groupB strep after they were born, so many well-meaning people told us to change out the nursery and get rid of everything immediately (even had several offers to clean up every reminder before I came home from hospital).Â It didn't feel right to me at all to do that, so I insisted on doing it with my husband when it felt right to us, and I'm so glad we did it that way.

Everyone's grief is very different.Â What you're feeling certainly isn't what any of us have felt, and you know best what's best for yourself.Â Take your time, and as others have said, you'll know when it's right.

Best wishes to you, xx

Annie in Norway

eileen · « **Reply #56 on:** June 21, 2005, 19:09:55 »

Just remember we're all here for you Wardy. Know what you're going through as my mother died in November last year. It's not easy but you'll never forget her.

katynewbie · « **Reply #57 on:** June 23, 2005, 19:27:03 »

I know it's been a while, but things like this make time stand still. I remember driving away from the hospital when my Dad died and watching people doing ordinary things...I wanted to shout "don't you know what just happened?" That thought stayed with me for months. It does get better and you can take comfort in the things said on here and the peace and productivity allotmenteering brings. I still have great auntie Gwens rolling pin and think of her every time I make pastry!
Hope you are ok.

Tulipa · « **Reply #58 on:** June 23, 2005, 19:42:21 »

Katy, that's interesting as I wanted to shout at everyone about my Dad dying too. I remember going to collect my daughter from playgroup and having to stop myself from shouting. Must be some sort of instinctive thing.

Deleted · « **Reply #59 on:** June 23, 2005, 20:17:03 »

Yes i agree with you both there. Same feeling exactly. Just wanted to scream at everyone going about their normal business - when all was far from normal.

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Author Topic: Very sad today (Read 11433 times)